upset... Mother... workingout...getting healthy... depressed

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I'm really upset! This summer I was going to eat healthier and excersize more. and i have! I walk every day with my dog. buttI don't look or feel healthy. I thought me and my mom would walk together and excersize and eat healthy. but thats not happened! In the beginning of the summer I especially felt stressed, becasue i felt no one wanted to help me. everytime I ask my mom to excersize she a: has to work. or she b: is too tired. at the end of the school year my teahcer sugested we go to curves ( wich is for women!) and my mom had even sugested it. last night we had a major fight because I asked if I could go to a gym with her today. My stepdad and my brother have their hockey that they do together twice a week. I thought me and my mom could go to curves and work out and have fun like a mother daughter bonding thing. but the only gym she wants to go to is the lameBleep one in this stupid town ( that we moved to three years ago)otherwise known as "the club" where preppy stupid snobs go to do whatever they do and play tennis. I don't want to go there! People I know go there! I don't want to be seen working out there! That would be really upsetting and embarassing! and every time I mention something like curves she says "I didn't have a gym when I was your age! going to one would cost money!" I don't give a flying pig what she had or didn't have when she was my age! I want to go to a gym get a good workout( where i actually sweat) and feel like I've made a difference to my body. Plus I want to get into shape because i might have diabetes. and I only just convinced her to let me go to the school that everyone I know is going to for highschool. I feel sad and upset. I don't feel like I have any control over my body anymore, and I feel so ugly and fat and horrible. i'm tired of being overweight. and I thought this would be fun, seeing as my mom's not exactly the most in shape person in the word either. and all i feel is depressed now...

If she is not going to eat healthier or excersise with you, would she at least get healthier food for you and just walk your dog longer and faster?

I understand how you feel. I also am large and I do not like to go to gyms where people know me. One thing I can tell you is that you can not depend on anyone else to work out with you. I have spent much of the past fifteen years being let down by others in this respect. Also I did do Curves for a year and it was over $70.00 a person and I found the atmosphere scary.

Recently I have finally started to get healthy and it has been at home. I have started doing yoga and pilates. These have worked very well for me and I look better and I feel much better.

I understand that you want to spend time with your mother and you are being disappointed by her putting you off. I have to say as I read your words I heard my own responses to my daughter at times. There is no excuse for a mother to be too busy and too tired but it does happen. Being a responsible for the finances, and well being of others can leave a mother with very little energy left over for anything fun. Maybe you need to say to her what you said in your post about wanting to spend time with her like your stepfather does with your brother.

Feel free to contact me in you want.

Exercise at home. I do pushups and situps mostly. I also did running when it was cooler and still do bike riding and occasionally swimming.

shadesofme, that's horrible. i know how you feel - i have body dismorphic disorder, which means that, although i am actually underweight, i THINK i need to lose fat, and get into severe depressions when i think i've put on weight (it's the main reason i don't stop smoking).

i exercise at home, too. half an hour a day of strenuous dancing, even running on the spot, will do it. and then i do some toning exercises. i've started running recently, which is free, once you've bought the sports bra and proper shoes (and i read up on it on the internet before i started, cos it's all too easy to injure yourself or over train).

if you want to do anything at home, i can send you links to really useful sites (well, i think they are, and i had a good look round).

and yealc's suggestion about talking to your mum is sound - try it. you haven't lost anything if it doesn't work.

good luck, hon. if you're determined to do it (and you sound like it), then you will.

I wish you well.