Flashes of Normalcy

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I'm just curious if anyone else here gets this way and how they handle it.

Most of the time I probably look and act almost exactly like one with AS would be expected to. I'm distant, intensely focused on things, get very annoyed with distractions... I'm not aware of social nuances unless I make a conscious effort and give it almost undivided attention. I try very hard, but I seem to always be either on the bottom of the social ladder, or barely tolerated at all. Every now and then though, I snap into focus almost like what it must be for an NT. Conversations flow better, I get along better with people and I seem a lot more aware of what they are thinking or wanting. It doesn't happen very often, or for very long (maybe once or twice a month, for only a few hours at best)... but the results are great, especially if I get lucky and it corresponds to something important. Once it helped me through a first date that I probably would have screwed up otherwise, and I've been with the girl ever since. Another time it landed me an important DJ gig in LA. But since I can't control when or how it happens, it's just luck of the draw.

When it happens... if anything I seem to suddenly have MORE ability to read people than those around me. When I get like this people get freaked out about how well I figure them out, especially coming from me, the socially dysfunctional guy. It's like straining under a lot of weight most of the time, and being suddenly freed of it for a few moments. I see exactly what I need to do in order to move forward in a conversation, I anticipate what people will say long before they say it and I suddenly know exactly how far I can push people.

But then it kinda fades away and I lose it again. Then it's back to the usual, trying to categorize every freakin' movement or tone in order to figure out how to socialize. It disappears in almost the same manner as a dream that slips from memory when you wake up. You try to hold on to it, but it fades anyway.

Does this happen to anyone else?

It happens when I'm in a really good mood.

Exactly as you said it machinex.

I think it's more of a "lucky streak" for me (there's no underlying factor for the result I get, but rather it could seem that way).

I was having one of those days today. I was in a conversation, paying attention, responding to social cues, discussing the current topic, listening to other people, not talking too much . . . woah. And then suddenly I realized how others must see me on other days and I saw and understood how others don't just gaze intently on the people they talk to. So I spent the rest of the conversation (while I was still doing good), working not to stare at the person I was talking to.

Usually I don't even notice the staring. So I guess that's a step in the right direction.

In other words, yeah, I get you.

Yes, I got those flashes of high-level social skills. Then they just fade away....


...I don't know where they come from or when. Though I must say, it's easier when they're talking about something *interesting* and *relevant*!

Well, I am usually in between. I am not hyperfocused all the time, etc... but I am also NEVER that social. I am usually kind of in the middle. I get more hyperfocused when in my interests, especially if there is a problem, or I am doing really well. I start to have failures of some sort when there is extreme stress.

I pass for NT most of the time, but I have trouble with banter/flirty interactions etc. I find myself congratulating myself whenever I feel like I had a good, 'normal' social exchange with someone. I just kind of realized I do this and that it is not normal. Another reason I think I have AS. I don't think I should be excited for having a pleasant conversation that seems to interest someone else - that sholud be typical. I don't usually have really awkward conversations, but I rarely connect with someone new on a good level.

That's interesting. Could it be related to your intake of gluten or casein or lack thereof? Is it a day with no allergies?

I had sorta one of those types of days too meeself..and I am pretty sure I ate a big sandwich which contained both gluten and casien...um...and then I snapped back to my normal self later in the evening when we went to a resturaunt...before eating...just sitting in the booth...all the sensory issues came back...

I Spent all day helping run a stage at an outdoor festival.....felt social..hung out I talked to several people...including two kids and numerous acquaintances...I um...performed on stage...talked to the audience....got a rush that was not a panic...Did not get upset by things that normally upset me....
improved with three musicians....um....(got a little distracted by all the stuff goiing on around and could not process what the guy was saying half the time..)..but did pretty well concidering there was alot of noise and a crowd and also a crazy friend who kept shouting at us for some dumb reason.....

I even concidered going out later in the evening by myself to another event that is happening...and it is kinda hard for me to do that because of anxiety....right now I feel so-so-
I only feel like not going because I am tired and sunburnt and my stomach hurts...

I would say that, at work, I'm much more "normal" than I am anywhere else, because my job is in line with my interests and skills. I wouldn't consider myself necessarily abnormal, but I can do things that seem incredibly dumb. I wonder why the same person who can find her way around the library and knows where everything is there, is constantly misplacing things at home and acting absentminded.

I completely relate.

It is rare for me to have an easy conversation with someone, one that is almost instinctual. Sometimes when I am really relaxed, I am able to speak naturally almost without thinking.

Of course, since I'm not thinking too much, the conversation is rarely profound, but I feel great about it afterwards.

Yeah. To me those day are the best and I keep thinking I always want to be like that. When I have those days, I usally sound alot more intelligent than I am and I feel really relaxed and cool.

Yeah I get that.
Very very rarely
completely unpredictable
but for a few moments its like galloping on a horse or surfing...

when i was going through my dan marino phase, i panted my nails green dyed my hair geen and orange and wore a dan marino jersey

Yep. All of the above, especially the Dan Marino thing.