Panic attacks online

Post Reply New Topic

I'm the same way! I absolutely cannot do chat rooms and IMs! I don't really know why, but I always get so nervous and panicky. However, I love message boards and PMs. Although, overall, I prefer talking on the phone and hanging out in person to a computer conversation any day!

Well, I must say I really don't like calling strangers (like if I'm asking for something at a store), but I can talk to my friends on the phone for hours and hours! My record is six!

Yeah, it's really hard to explain it. I often get asked if I have an instant messenger, but that's really the last thing I want. I always thought it was just me with this problem! I absolutely love to socialize, but I cannot stand IMing and chat rooms at all!

I feel your pain Awkward. Me too. Although I'm not so trouble with IM, email, chatting... phone calls and face-to-face has always been tough for me. And I don't know why either. I observe people having casual conversations and I so wish I could be like one of those people.

But I'm trying everyday. One step as a time. Maybe that's what you can try. Small steps...

Awkward, I am painfully shy in person, especially 1:1.
I liked your post and you did just fine. On this forum, you're 'safe' in that there are others like you so you need not worry about saying the right thing. But, I still understand your reticence. Maybe reading some of the posts (especially the fun posts) will make you feel more comfortable. Do you have a favorite topic? I just float between topics and usually just check the posts du jour.....

I'm more outgoing online, but just as I am in person I have many regrets. I always question & re-question things I've said. People still take me the wrong way either way. This is the first board that I had been on that was so understanding. It's comforting.

I like to have all methods of communication available.

Tim

I have troubles with online interaction too, sometimes. I find myself coming across people that I absolutely cannot talk to online just like I would in real life. I sometimes see every word a person types as hostile... what's even worse is indifference. I have a hard time reading how they feel about me unless they're all "LOL UR SO FUNNI"... in which case I now understand that they don't hate me, but no longer wish to talk to them because they're obviously an ass.

I also find myself sitting and staring at a reply I've just written for... wow... I know I've had to reach at least 15 minutes. Other times I just force myself to press the submit button and convince myself that I'll be okay so I don't have to torture myself with the "how am I coming across" questions.

Also I've found that the only thing that can help me in a nervous situation like that is someone bringing to light that I'm nervous, and letting me know that it's okay. Don't laugh, but I met a previous boyfriend online (lasted 2 years, he also had many AS traits). I really thought he seemed awesome, but I was still really nervous about saying the wrong thing to him in an IM. You know how on AIM it'll tell you when someone's typing? (GOD THAT FREAKS ME OUT) Well he started laughing about how long it took me to respond, and that the typing indicator would be on for a long time, then go off, with no reply, then on, then off, then on, then 2 minutes later I'd finally press enter. But really, the fact that he found it amusing or even "cute" that I was nervous, made me feel not nervous anymore. The more you think about your nervousness as natural, the more natural you can be, I think.

I can totally relate to that. It takes me forever to write something online (typing, checking, editing in case someone takes it the wrong way, typing again... editing...over & over until it's just right. Even then I would change it you just reach a point you have to let go.) Anyway, add a timer type issue into the mix & it makes it that much harder. Back when ICQ was the big thing in the 90's I had a lot of friends on there who were x-files fans. We ended up just having quote wars for hours at a time. It was faster then waiting for me to keep up. I'd get "*tap, tap, tap*" messages from them otherwise.

I have experienced extreme panic in the past when posting on forums.

It was more to do with my being AS-like my lack of censorship. People hate me when I get started and I know alot of times, I get a negative reaction from others when I have my final word.

I have moderated an online forum in the past and it caused the worst anxiety for me, at times, that I would approach the computer in the middle of the night with my heart throbbing.

WHAT CRAP!

Because, that said, I LOVE MY ONLINE SOCIAL NETWORKS!! !!

I hate 'chat'. It is a total head f**k. I don't go on them nowadays. "I'll be going then" is about as far as I get. Apart from anything else it is really difficult to follow with everyone talking over themselves. Stick to boards you can't go wrong.

I only message one-to-one with clients.

I can do message boards, but I can't do chat. I have no idea what to say, same as in real life. I need something structured I guess so I know what to talk about.

I just sit there staring at the screen when I've tried to get into chat rooms. I think I'd rather talk in real life, since at least there I can get some visual feedback from the person.

I also hate having to deal with tons of people at once, online, or in real life. It's too confusing too figure out what's going on, too difficult to follow everything.

Even on here, I tend to avoid threads that are huge

Me, too!

I keep a dictionary and thesaurus next to the laptop so I can check my posts before submitting them. I hate using the same adjective twice in a post so will search for something else, then proof-read for spelling and grammar, then preview to check how it will look on the board - paragraph size, lines flowing easily etc. Sometimes I read it out loud to see how it sounds, and then I start worrying about hitting the 'submit' button.

In the past I've spent a long time on what I consider to be a beautifully crafted post, only to chicken out and delete it as I don't think anyone will be interested in my opinion anyway. I am certain I'm on several people's 'ignore user' lists - maybe not here at WP yet, but no doubt it will happen.

And no, I can't do chat, either.

Another thing, if someone posts something derogatory about trolls, people who shouldn't be on a particular forum, or n00bs I'm convinced they're talking about me. I miss sarcasm in posts all the time and can come across as too literal - on a particular music forum I visit I have been called weird, an idiot and a loser, but what the heck.... it's only teh internetz