so here's what's going on in my life

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I was diagnosed w/asperger syndrome nearly two years ago........I dont know if it was because I was so completely un-self aware or what (un self aware......is that a term?....maybe I could have phrased that better....).........but it hasn't been until very recently that I have actually believed that I have had the syndrome............only recently have i noticed how my past behavior could've easily been considedered very different from that of normal (or as you people know it, NT) people's 'behavior.......only now.....do I realize how f*****g bizarre and deviant some of the things that i have done over the years have appeared...........maybe it it has been a lucky once in a lifetime act of god that I have broke my brain, and am beginning to see the world the way a normal person would.........I just need some guidance on how to live this way......and I think I need some powerful drugs............anybody get me?...............I feel like a child who has wandered into a movie......I'm sorry if I didnt get my point across........I'll try later when I'm not drunk............speed is the key........I sound alot smarter when I take speed......

How can you get to know your true self if you keep hiding it underneath drugs?

I know a guy who I convinced to stop taking depression medication, he says he is less depressed and thinks more clearly and speaks better and a lot of stuff now, the pills did nothing good for him.
I think people who take drugs are losers looking for some way to escape their pitiful existence, same goes for getting drunk. I don't drink or do any drugs, and I never sound like an idiot like people who do, I always think clearly and I don't feel like a huge tool or slave who needs chemicals to feel whole inside. I just dont want that feeling, that feeling from taking drugs or being drunk, its not real, its your brain getting raped, its like false happiness, it seems so hollow and cold.

You need drugs to survive???
Prescription drugs are one thing, like if you have AIDS, of coarse your probably gonna need some pills to survive, but I'm not talking about prescription drugs.
NOBODY needs coke or speed or pot to "survive". If you really think that, then you must be a slave to brain-numbing chemicals.