What is the difference between Men and Woman with AS

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MrMacPhisto
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13 Sep 2007, 1:35 pm

I am just wondering is there any difference between Men and Woman with Asperger Syndrome does it come out differently is it the same. I am just curious thats all.



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13 Sep 2007, 1:37 pm

I really don't know but when I have read studies about it, the scientists says that women with AS tend to have more interest in people then men with AS. Therefore they say that it can be harder to spot AS in women.



Susz
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13 Sep 2007, 2:27 pm

I've done a ton of research on this because of my daughter and I. I can tell you that MOST girls get the ADD diagnosis more so than the ASpergers which I'm sure you know. Girls have a tendancy to be more accepted by their peers aka other females because females are more nurturing and understanding by nature. Boys stand out more, are sometimes aggressive and other males do not tend to accept people who are "different" which can lead to bullying. Now my daughter has experienced bullying too and I think that like anything else there are no two kids/adults who are the same.

In addition, I read that there is a lot of controversy now about the criteria for diagnosing AS in children because more and more professionals are finding that girls do have a different expression of the syndrome than boys. Boys are likely to be interested in computers and math where girls may like animals and collecting things. Girls are likely to be silent and will not advocate for themselves in the classroom whereas boys may act out with their frustrations and this is how they are identified.

I hope this helped. My daughter is very LOUD, very social and determined to make friends. She does get upset if someone rejects her and has a tendency to obsess on an issue until it is fixed to her satisfaction. She LOVES horses. Every horse she sees she reacts like she's never seen a horse before in her life! She rides horses, talks about them, knows almost every type of horse and so on. She talks to you and stands in your face until you just want to push her out of hte way and doesn't let you get a word in edge wise. She asks me constantly, "Mom why dont i feel like crying if people die or something upsetting happens and everyone else is crying?" She asks me this constantly. She's smart and she knows she's different. Heck, I'm different. We're just wired that way i guess.



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13 Sep 2007, 2:56 pm

What Susz said is spot-on.

Most girls on the spectrum are shy, quiet, and withdrawn. They don't act up in class, so don't get noticed as often. My 9 y/eo DD just participated in a research study at the UC Davis MIND Institute about the differences between girls and boys on the spectrum. I was told by the lead Dr. that my daughter presents like most girls. She holds it together in public, at school, because of fear of not being accepted and being ostracized by others. Boys don't tend to have as much of a problem letting loose and acting out. Girls are more guarded. But girls often blow up and melt-down once they are in their safe, home environment. Girls also tend to be more articualte with speech and have a larger vocabulary, thus allowing them to express themselves a little better. The more caring, feeling general nature of girls allows this as well.

I know that growing up, I had girlfriends, but I never truly felt like I belonged. When I went to HS and none of my girlfriends from JR High attended my HS, I did not make any more girlfriends. I could not relate to the boy-crazy, makeup obsessed, fashion interested girls. I had guy friends and have never had a close girlfriend since 8th grade. My daughter recently expressed her bewilderment by other girls' behavior and how she doesn't understand their obsessino with clothes and pop music, etc. She told me they're mean and judgmental and she does not have a single girl in her class that she likes. She plays with the boys. Like mother, like daughter.



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13 Sep 2007, 2:57 pm

Oh, the Dr, at the MIND Institute also said that she highly suspects that nearly as many girls are on the spectrum as boys, they just fly under the radar and aren't diagnosed.



mmaestro
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13 Sep 2007, 3:08 pm

I find this interesting, because it sounds like I fit the girls' description to a "T," whereas the boys' description is absolutely nothing like me. I was quiet, withdrawn, didn't speak up in class (although I did have the obsession with computers), and my social skills seem to be better than most of the males here. However, with many other AS aspects to me, both my wife and myself are pretty sure I have AS. Which I guess just goes to show that just because you may be able to generalise about how the sexes present with AS, generalities aren't correct 100% of the time.


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13 Sep 2007, 3:43 pm

This thread makes me feel even more sure that I have AS. I'd thought that I was too able to play with other children when I was a kid to qualify for a diagnosis, but it seems that AS girls are more able to interact. I did participate in group play as a kid, but often I'd wander off from group to go pull leaves off of trees or tear grass up. The other kids at school would laugh and say, "Haha, we love [Cooper], she's weird and crazy!" when I would dance at inappropriate times or speak in weird, rhyming sentences. I did have the computer obsession though, and that led to some mean teasing.

I agree with mmaestro though, generalizing about the sexes isn't always correct. I also think that kids, even AS kids, pick up very easily on what is acceptable for males and females and react to that. In my experience, teachers are much more strict with girls who are loud or aggressive in preschool than with boys. Also, a special interest will only develop when a child has access to information about it. I was pushed away from a possible interest in motorcycles because my teachers and classmates made it clear that it was odd for girls to read motorcycle books. On the other hand, my dad really encouraged my interest in computers, which some people thought was inappropriate for a little girl, by buying me books and software that I wanted.



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13 Sep 2007, 4:07 pm

i find i have issues when comes to trying to emotional defend myself... say in arguments or just anything where i'm trying to get my point across on something i feel strongly about.... and that i tend to be overly emotional in general. people tend to find it cute or obtuse... depending on the situation.


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Belle77
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13 Sep 2007, 4:18 pm

Jennyfoo wrote:
I was told by the lead Dr. that my daughter presents like most girls. She holds it together in public, at school, because of fear of not being accepted and being ostracized by others. Boys don't tend to have as much of a problem letting loose and acting out. Girls are more guarded. But girls often blow up and melt-down once they are in their safe, home environment. Girls also tend to be more articualte with speech and have a larger vocabulary, thus allowing them to express themselves a little better. The more caring, feeling general nature of girls allows this as well.


Yep, this is me and probably why I wasn't recognized as having as much trouble as I really did. I wish that I could have gotten help when I was in school, but I graduated from high school in 95...a year after AS was added to the DSM. At home I was constantly told to not be so sensitive. No one bothered to try to figure out that there was a good reason for it and actually help me.



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13 Sep 2007, 4:22 pm

Belle77 wrote:
Jennyfoo wrote:
I was told by the lead Dr. that my daughter presents like most girls. She holds it together in public, at school, because of fear of not being accepted and being ostracized by others. Boys don't tend to have as much of a problem letting loose and acting out. Girls are more guarded. But girls often blow up and melt-down once they are in their safe, home environment. Girls also tend to be more articualte with speech and have a larger vocabulary, thus allowing them to express themselves a little better. The more caring, feeling general nature of girls allows this as well.


Yep, this is me and probably why I wasn't recognized as having as much trouble as I really did. I wish that I could have gotten help when I was in school, but I graduated from high school in 95...a year after AS was added to the DSM. At home I was constantly told to not be so sensitive. No one bothered to try to figure out that there was a good reason for it and actually help me.


This is exactly how I feel. (I'm self-diagnosed btw). I think because I did well in exams and didn't cause trouble in class nobody cared as to why I was clearly pretty f*****g disturbed.



mmaestro
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13 Sep 2007, 4:34 pm

I just want to say, this kind of makes me want to hit my head off a wall or something, because I've been reading over WP and a lot of it makes me think, "I'm nothing like this," (but then, a lot also explains many things about me) then on this thread, with women describing themselves, and I'm like "yes, that's me, this is totally how I was at school." It's kind of a weird feeling.


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13 Sep 2007, 4:49 pm

Susz wrote:
I've done a ton of research on this because of my daughter and I. I can tell you that MOST girls get the ADD diagnosis more so than the ASpergers which I'm sure you know. Girls have a tendancy to be more accepted by their peers aka other females because females are more nurturing and understanding by nature. Boys stand out more, are sometimes aggressive and other males do not tend to accept people who are "different" which can lead to bullying. Now my daughter has experienced bullying too and I think that like anything else there are no two kids/adults who are the same.

In addition, I read that there is a lot of controversy now about the criteria for diagnosing AS in children because more and more professionals are finding that girls do have a different expression of the syndrome than boys. Boys are likely to be interested in computers and math where girls may like animals and collecting things. Girls are likely to be silent and will not advocate for themselves in the classroom whereas boys may act out with their frustrations and this is how they are identified.

I hope this helped. My daughter is very LOUD, very social and determined to make friends. She does get upset if someone rejects her and has a tendency to obsess on an issue until it is fixed to her satisfaction. She LOVES horses. Every horse she sees she reacts like she's never seen a horse before in her life! She rides horses, talks about them, knows almost every type of horse and so on. She talks to you and stands in your face until you just want to push her out of hte way and doesn't let you get a word in edge wise. She asks me constantly, "Mom why dont i feel like crying if people die or something upsetting happens and everyone else is crying?" She asks me this constantly. She's smart and she knows she's different. Heck, I'm different. We're just wired that way i guess.


Yes...I agree with nearly all of this.

except for the bit where you wrote "Girls have a tendancy to be more accepted by their peers aka other females because females are more nurturing and understanding by nature."
I disagree with that as I have found females to be very superficial and unaccepting of anything that is not the norm. In my life time I have had more online male friends than female, which supports what I just said.


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Belle77
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13 Sep 2007, 5:02 pm

sarahstilettos wrote:
This is exactly how I feel. (I'm self-diagnosed btw).


I'm also currently self-diagnosed (probably should have included that before), but it's definitely an accurate assessment. And everything that I read about AS (especially in females) just reinforces it for me.

sarahstilettos wrote:
I think because I did well in exams and didn't cause trouble in class nobody cared as to why I was clearly pretty f***ing disturbed.


Exactly!



Cooper
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13 Sep 2007, 7:03 pm

Brittany2907, in my experience, very young girls are more accepting of differences, until about 12 or 13. Then the whole boy-crazy beauty pageant ethos kicks in and things get nasty.



poopylungstuffing
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13 Sep 2007, 9:34 pm

I have seen it kick in earlier than that.
I'd say it can start as early as 7 or 8 in some cases...This is based upon the experienc I've had with some little girls I know...



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13 Sep 2007, 9:36 pm

I never got attention till I "developed". Then I got all the male attention I needed.

Seems that's not so for the male aspies.

Make your own deductions from there.