Most Autistic AND Least Autistic!

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Many people here have said, "If you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie." The implication is that the various factors of autism affect people to different degrees and interact with their personalities differently too. It is hard to compare myself to members of an online community like WrongPlanet.net, but I have noticed some things about the other members of an Asperger's syndrome support group and me. In this group, I am simultaneously the most and the least autistic person there! By the way, Sophist belongs to this group, too.

I have more of a certain practical sense than the rest of them, I think. I don't mean the NT common sense that prevents them from making social gaffes; I mean pragmatism. I can offer good solutions to problems (but not to calculus! don't even ask me for help with calc homework! ). If someone spoke to me and heard me talking so comprehensively about these things, they would be led to believe I am on the brink of success in life, that some small impediment is holding me back. So well reasoned is my advice. The hard part, of course, is following through. I can make good suggestions about exactly what needs to be done to get more members for the group. One member, Donnie, was particularly struck by my advice (I heard his self-defeating attitude and so offered encouraging words). I like to think I can cut through the confusion to understand the core of the issue. This pragmatism is only bolstered with a strong sense of idealism. I am pessimistic in the short term but optimistic for the long haul. I believe all strife can be defeated. If I talk to someone who's having a problem, I try to ask questions that get to the heart of the problem. If the problem is one of discouragement, I offer them reassurance; if the problem is mostly practical, I try to help them find the best way to solve the problem. In interpersonal conflicts, I try to find compromise. This was most noticeable when Sophist and Donnie were having a bit of a disagreement about a world perspectives; I tried to bring them back together (at heart, I was more in agreement with Donnie, though, and it probably showed).

This leads me to my next point: I am also probably the most empathetic person in the group, at least sometimes (I sound really awful right now, tooting my own horn like this ). The problem for me is showing the facial expression and body language that many people associate with attentive listening, sympathy, and comradery—well, and also finding the best time to speak without interrupting. Donnie's pretty sympathetic sometimes, too; Lauren is very excitable and enjoys trying new things with people. Sophist is more of the intellectual variety than the emotional kind. I also sometimes put things the wrong way but with only the best intentions (trust me! ). Of course, once someone's experiences and attitudes have diverged too much from my own, I have trouble relating emotionally: I probably have the most trouble understanding Sophist's point of view as if I were experiencing (or actually I ponder it but come to a different emotional reaction than apparently she does). I can't say whether this blindness is simple refusal to accept the validity of attitudes so different from mine or simple inability.

I wouldn't say I'm the most creative member of the group because both Sophist and Donnie style themselves as artists too; nevertheless, my language can be very colorful. I like to use descriptive words to "spice" things up. I throw metaphors and idiomatic language in like so much sugar in a cake (ooh! simile there!). My ability to understand implied meanings in verbal language, metaphors, similes, symbolism, and other abstract language is pretty good. I like to think this is where the creative, spontaneous side of me comes to play! Actually, if anything, my large vocabulary and use of metaphors can sometimes throw even NTs off if I'm not careful.

On the other hand, I can be extremely autistic. A rate of social gaffes per unit of time should be devised to measure this: the autom! Whether I say something that's a little bit too controversial or just don't say the right thing at the right moment, faux pas are a part of my life. Sometimes I do know it might be accepted only with suspicion, but I say it anyway. Sometimes I'm just oblivious to certain facets of social behavior despite my best attempts to compensate in other ways. I'll often incorporate means of relating that are appropriate in one situation to another, inappropriate situation because that's all I know. Telling a joke makes friends, right? Well, the more, the merrier! I am probably the most socially awkward of the group; I'm really just muddling around, not knowing quite what I'm doing socially but hoping all goes well.

I probably perseverate more than anyone else in the group, including Sophist. I tend to solve one problem at a time and stick with that problem until it's been solved. They noticed this perservation in my tendency to ask if they wanted to have dinner more than once in a span of only a few minutes. I tend to perservate on my life problems as well as my interests. Sophist is probably a little more pedantic than I am and may explain a topic in greater depth than I do, but she can get her mind off an idea more quickly than I do. The others do not seem to perseverate especially much.

I also probably stim the most. I don't have any highly unusual or noticeable stereotypies, but I do them more than the other people in this support group. I tend to rub the stubble on my chin or pace a lot. If I'm standing and talking, I'm moving too.

I also definitely have the flattest affect of all the group members; well, it's a close race between Sophist and me. For me to become emotive, though, I need to be stimulated up; otherwise, I'm pretty much flat in my expression. The flat affect alone scares some people off, it seems.

I also make very little eye contact and am prone to miss nonverbal communication. One part of nonverbals I'm not so bad at is detecting attraction. I can pick up on the slightest hint of attraction; but sometimes, even after things go awry, I perseverate on the original way of reacting to this. So I actually make them like me less if I don't adapt my strategy as the interaction continues.

What have you guys noticed about your autistic traits compared to other aspies?

I've never met any other aspies.

I've never met anyone with aspergers,either...Have I met myself?

Me:Hello

I:Hi

Me:sooo....

I:you wanna make out?

Me:yeah

I:*fap,fap,fap*

Me:hey slow down we just met

I can't really comment because, as far as I know, I have not met any other aspies in person.

On a side note, I nominate RPM as the most schizophrenic.

I've known a few Aspies in my time IRL (or close to IRL) and although I've been more Aspie than they were before, I am now less so. I'm (shame, shame) halfway to NT sometimes. I've got affect up the wazoo (on my face, not my voice, that's still blah), I'm empathetic, have few perseverations (I'm boring), I have few tactile hangups, and I'm pretty good at communications.

Then again, I have meltdowns, I have trouble filtering out auditory stimuli, I can't predict what others are going to do, I have poor (but kind of likeable anyway) social skills, and I'm just a basket case in general.

So, at this point, i'm still the least Aspie Aspie I know IRL, but I'm nevertheless demented.

Me compared and contrasted to other Aspies... hmmm... *thinking*

Well, I suppose I shall use the Meetup Group as per example as well since the only other Aspie I knew was my father and with the large age gap and the fact that I am more likely to resemble him anyways that would make it difficult to contrast and compare as accurately.

Donnie: <Contrast> I find him incredibly social and he "gets" his energy from being with people, which I do not in most instances. I do think he acts younger than I do (at least in public) even though he's a good 11 years older than I am. Despite that we both can seem verbose (I go on and on about a topic and he just goes on and on) he has a certain hyperactivity to the quality of his voice and I am often surprised he doesn't spring out of his chair without being nailed down.

<Comparison> We're both Aspies. That's about as far as I've gotten in our similarities.

Lauren: <Contrast> I don't know Lauren very well and quite honestly I find her annoying at the times I have been with her. She is incredibly blunt and I found it in poor taste to hold a knife up to Neant's neck to take a picture in the middle of TGI Fridays. She also seems to enjoy certain amounts of attention, as noted by throwing her leg over her head (she's very limber) on every single occasion that I've met with her. I think she has very poor awareness of even basic social niceties (I don't care for conformity but I am a courtesy freak and just get frustrated by those who don't care for the same-- but it's just a personal perseveration).

<Comparison> We're both Aspies and female. And we both like the computer.

Neant: <Contrast> Neant, in contrast to me, can be incredibly hyper and despite that he says he realizes where the appropriate and the inappropriate lie he does the inappropriate anyways many times because he dislikes conformity and thinks (if I understand him correctly) that it is funny. If it is in a public place, to be honest, I really don't think it comes off as such. But perhaps I dislike it more simply because it draws unwanted attention and I dislike this. He also says that he is compassionate but consistently says loud enough whenever someone who is over 30 comes his way "God! Why won't all these old people just die?" or something of that nature, apparently because only "hot babes" are acceptable company-- or something. I can't blame him for the hot babes thing, but Neant appears to have less awareness of the true inappropriateness and discourtesy of his actions at times. He says he doesn't care but then talks about not being liked, etc.

<Comparison> I am sure I have less awareness of my actions than I think I do which is why Neant and I are similar. We are also quite logical with a creative flare and we both enjoy a wide variety of things. Plus, despite our frustrations with each other, I think we perhaps anger each other more because we are similar and both so very egocentric.

I have to this point never met another diagnosed Aspie, but plenty of diagnosed Autistics and undiagnosed Aspies and Autistics.

I have never worked out the difference.

There are still too many talking heads paying lip-service "Well Autism is very complicated and misunderstood" whilst at the same time demonstrating no practical knowledge as to how and why this is, often propagating misunderstanding with disregard to specific complications themselves.

[quote="NeantHumain"]Many people here have said, "If you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie." The implication is that the various factors of autism affect people to different degrees and interact with their personalities differently too. It is hard to compare myself to members of an online community like WrongPlanet.net, but I have noticed some things about the other members of an Asperger's syndrome support group and me. In this group, I am simultaneously the most and the least autistic person there! By the way, Sophist belongs to this group, too.

I would never compare myself to others as we're all affected different and unique and to try and compare myself to others is not only unfair in judgement of myself but of another person. It doesn't matter if I'm least autistic in compared to others or more autistic. I am me. That's all that matters, same with everyone else. We're who we are, why bother trying to compare ourselves when we were all intended to be unique?

Hmm...well here goes. On the one hand, I'd say I'm "more autistic" because I feel like I am more obsessive and my interests are more "narrow" than most of the people on this board. I also think I'm more socially awkward and less aware of my surroundings than a lot of people on here.

However, I feel like my understanding of social situations is better, that I can adapt to change more easily, and I feel like I'm generally, for better or worse, more likely to do or say things that people on this board associate with NT's. I also see myself as less creative, and less good at a lot of the things that Aspies are good at. And NeantHumain, I think you've found a competitor for most emphatic member of this board. So yeah, overall I'm definetely much more towards the "less autistic" side.

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I have looked at many of your Postings, Neant, and from my point of view Neant is very much enamoured with himself, lives in a beautifully constructed fantasy world filled with paradoxes and contradictions, and, if he actually intends to follow his proclaimed fantasies into reality may find himself, sooner or later, in a Federal or State prison where he will most definitely have the longed for sexual experiences that he apparently craves, however, the experiences that he will encounter may not be what he expects.

I suggest that Neant break the self constructed mirror that seems to hold a hypnotic spell over him, it may bring him seven years bad luck but it may also release him and set him free, and that must surely be worth the price.

I truly wish that your life could be what you hope it to be Neant, that you could have the friends and girls in your life that you need so desperately, and that your life will become more satisfying to you. But I cannot help you with that, and I wish I could, but then, it would not be your life anymore......

wishes

Katze


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Your prediction of what would happen if in a few years time if your sexual desires for a woman would not be met, ie. the 'dangerous path' you mentioned and using force. Perhaps you were only kidding or using a metaphor? How can one tell? I found it disturbing that you would see your possible future in that way, but them that's my problem.

Paradoxes such as 'well reasoned advice' and 'going straight to the heart of the matter' for example. My guess is that you will argue this ad infinitum because that is how you operate and I am not willing to pursue this indefinitely, I find it draining.

As for the Mirror you will have to find that yourself, perhaps you can ask your Counsellor or Therapist. Look back over your recent Threads and you may find what I mean.

I was offering my comments in Friendship, not as an attack or character assassination, if you feel offended or hurt then I am truly sorry, it was not intended. From my point of view you have much creative potential and have much to give. Use it, don't let it eat you up Katze