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"It's healthy to have a social life"

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ChatBrat
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25 Oct 2007, 7:15 pm

My sister made some comments today about how it isn't healthy for people to not have a social life, spending too much time being a homebody, etc. I told her that it is healthy for her to spend time around other people because she enjoys it, just the same as it is healthy for someone to not spend time around other people because that is what they enjoy. She kept arguing back "but everyone needs a social life", "everyone needs to spend time with friends", "it isn't healthy spending too much time at home" etc.

What can I say to her that I haven't already? How can I make her understand that that kind of neurotypical thinking is wrong? Please help me think of some good explanations and come-backs.



Joybob
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25 Oct 2007, 7:20 pm

ChatBrat wrote:
My sister made some comments today about how it isn't healthy for people to not have a social life, spending too much time being a homebody, etc. I told her that it is healthy for her to spend time around other people because she enjoys it, just the same as it is healthy for someone to not spend time around other people because that is what they enjoy. She kept arguing back "but everyone needs a social life", "everyone needs to spend time with friends", "it isn't healthy spending too much time at home" etc.

What can I say to her that I haven't already? How can I make her understand that that kind of neurotypical thinking is wrong? Please help me think of some good explanations and come-backs.


I'm getting the same crap from my family 24/7. "You read too much, you're on the PC too much, you watch too much TV, you never go out, you don't have friends."

If you figure out something let me know. Otherwise I'm about to flip them off.



OregonBecky
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25 Oct 2007, 7:20 pm

Sometimes I run across stories about literary figures who write about how wonderful solitude is. People seem to embrace those writings, like that Walden Pond thing. It's a novel idea for the NTs to imagine how nice it is to spend time away from people.


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Mw99
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25 Oct 2007, 7:21 pm

remind her that you love her



Last edited by Mw99 on 25 Oct 2007, 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sapphix
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25 Oct 2007, 7:44 pm

There is someone on here (apologies, but can't remember the username) who signs off with "they tell me I think too much, I tell them they don't think enough". I think that is a fair exchange *wink*



faithfilly
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25 Oct 2007, 7:50 pm

Sapphix wrote:
There is someone on here (apologies, but can't remember the username) who signs off with "they tell me I think too much, I tell them they don't think enough". I think that is a fair exchange *wink*


Would that be the same thing as being told "you analyze things too much?" I don't think people analyze things enough.


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2ukenkerl
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25 Oct 2007, 8:11 pm

I AM HOME! Man, EVERYTIME I try to have a social life it seems like SOMETHING goes wrong! I had a "friend" once that SWIRE she would help me, and she didn't try. I once spent $150 and went a couple hundred miles, EACH WAY, DRIVING and nearly hurt my car, and it was just a boring exchange. I would probably feel 15 years younger if I hadn't done that. :cry:

Your sister needs to realize that not everyone is able to do that. I WISH it wasn't true. If I had a few REAL friends from 7 on, my life would have been a LOT better.



Sapphix
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25 Oct 2007, 8:12 pm

faithfilly wrote:
Would that be the same thing as being told "you analyze things too much?" I don't think people analyze things enough.


I agree, except that I would spell analyse with an 's', despite the fact that this software disagrees *grin*



siuan
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25 Oct 2007, 9:00 pm

Sapphix wrote:
There is someone on here (apologies, but can't remember the username) who signs off with "they tell me I think too much, I tell them they don't think enough". I think that is a fair exchange *wink*


That'd be me :P


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ASS-P
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25 Oct 2007, 9:07 pm

...pal !



Jainaday
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25 Oct 2007, 9:08 pm

I think it depends on how one defines social life. .

Clubs?

ick.

But meaningful interaction with other people. . . Emerson certainly had that.

Severe isolation is also a predictor for severe depression, and other psychological problems. .

So there is a case that no social life is unhealthy.


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Beenthere
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25 Oct 2007, 9:08 pm

Some will never understand...there lives revolve around their social lives and their friends, if they were without those things they feel they wouldn't have a life or not one that was worth living... in their eyes anyways.

I don't need friends to make me "whole"...I am whole.

I don't need a social life to bring me happiness or to save me from boredom...I am happy, and I'm seldom if ever...bored.

I am not "everybody"...I am me and I am different...as we all are in some ways, I can't imagine how life would be if we all were the same.

Other than that.... the only advice I have is...learn to change the subject quickly and ignore her when she goes into the "you need a life" rant, or nod and say uh-huh alot then carry on.

I've found it's a total waste to argue and get angry...if they refuse to grasp the concept it becomes about as productive as talking to a brick wall.


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Sapphix
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25 Oct 2007, 9:16 pm

siuan wrote:
Sapphix wrote:
There is someone on here (apologies, but can't remember the username) who signs off with "they tell me I think too much, I tell them they don't think enough". I think that is a fair exchange *wink*


That'd be me :P


Aha - the source of the quote I quoted. Thanks :D



Who_Am_I
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25 Oct 2007, 9:21 pm

Beenthere wrote:
Some will never understand...there lives revolve around their social lives and their friends, if they were without those things they feel they wouldn't have a life or not one that was worth living... in their eyes anyways.

I don't need friends to make me "whole"...I am whole.

I don't need a social life to bring me happiness or to save me from boredom...I am happy, and I'm seldom if ever...bored.

I am not "everybody"...I am me and I am different...as we all are in some ways, I can't imagine how life would be if we all were the same.

Other than that.... the only advice I have is...learn to change the subject quickly and ignore her when she goes into the "you need a life" rant, or nod and say uh-huh alot then carry on.

I've found it's a total waste to argue and get angry...if they refuse to grasp the concept it becomes about as productive as talking to a brick wall.


Well said.


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Lupine
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25 Oct 2007, 10:07 pm

Mw99 wrote:
remind her that you love her


Mw99: are you a shrink? Or maybe, a grad student shrink, doing a bit of research?



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25 Oct 2007, 10:40 pm

Social events and socializing are stressful and challenging, they raise my heart rate and my adreneline as I try and conform to the social mass. Now, how is THAT healthy?!?!

...tell you sister that!