Social Skills

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According to Wkipedia:

Basic Social Skills
Verbal
Smoothness of delivery (lacks stuttering, awkward pauses, etc.)
Intelligible speech (not too loud or soft, not dropping off the end of sentences)
Uses muscle words to help describe ideas in conversation (words designed to "grab" the attention of the listener)
Variable tone (avoidance of a monotonous tone)
Asks open-ended questions
Non-verbal
Active listening
Confident stance (standing up straight but not at attention)
Relaxed manner (not too tense, not falling asleep)
Body language in sync with the verbal message
Leans forward while talking
Open stance (not close hands)
Touching conversation partner (only in appropriate situations, as this can be misinterpreted)
Smile (but not overdoing)
Remembers and uses names during conversation

Complex Social Skills
Skilled in diplomacy (how one handles disagreements)
Ability to feign interest
Expressing empathy in thought by giving accurate and kind feedback to show you understand.
Expressing feeling empathy by sharing the names of the feelings you think the speaker is experiencing such as frustration, anger, hurt or love.

Other
Treating the conversation partner as their Best Friend


I think it's funny that "complex" social skills, in my case, seem easier to master than the "basic" ones.

I think that's all easy when I'm actually living outside my head, and when I'm not anxious... which I barely am any more, yay!

Oh, and when I was 15 I was in a group of teenagers at the hospital being taught WAY WAY WAY basic social skills. They didn't teach us any of what you mentioned, maybe one or two of the most basic ones!

This is sooo helpful! Thanks for posting this.

I also think that the complex ones are easier. I always thought I was pretty good at social skills, but now I am starting to realize what my husband is talking about.

Oh, and I agree with Ana that it is easier when you're less anxious. I think that's all about sensory issues. Our son can socialize up a storm at home now after going to speech camp this summer. He can answer questions, participate in conversations, etc. But throw in background music or a few more people in the vicinity, and he suddenly clams up. He will cover his ears or be so distracted by little things, like strangers walking by, that he doesn't attend to anyone else anymore. If you ask him a question, he will say very desperately, "Don't talk to me right now," or "Don't say ANYTHING to me," "Don't ask me anything," and he's only 4!

Basic Social Skills
Verbal
*>Smoothness of delivery (lacks stuttering, awkward pauses, etc.)
?>Intelligible speech (not too loud or soft, not dropping off the end of sentences)
S>Uses muscle words to help describe ideas in conversation (words designed to "grab" the attention of the listener)
?>Variable tone (avoidance of a monotonous tone)
Asks open-ended questions
*>Non-verbal
*>Active listening
Confident stance (standing up straight but not at attention)
Relaxed manner (not too tense, not falling asleep)
S>Body language in sync with the verbal message
S>Leans forward while talking
S>Open stance (not close hands)
S>Touching conversation partner (only in appropriate situations, as this can be misinterpreted)
S>Smile (but not overdoing)
S>Remembers and uses names during conversation

Complex Social Skills
*>Skilled in diplomacy (how one handles disagreements)
Ability to feign interest
Expressing empathy in thought by giving accurate and kind feedback to show you understand.
Expressing feeling empathy by sharing the names of the feelings you think the speaker is experiencing such as frustration, anger, hurt or love.

Other
S>Treating the conversation partner as their Best Friend

S = Something I usually consider stupid and WON'T do. If I do, it is selective.
* = Something I may have trouble with, especially under stress.
? = depends. My speech is clear almost 100% of the time, but volume/etc... CAN vary and I might stutter.