Dealing with heated arguments and informal debates

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I can other come up with some highly intelligent concepts when I deliver that killer hit in say a formal debate, but when I comes to heated arguments and informal debates I often get tongue tied and stammer and I completely fall in a heap. I have enough trouble just dealing with casual two way conversations let alone one that boils up into a heated argument.

In such situations I may finish up having some kind of primal meltdown instead which makes a mockery of my ability to formulate intelligent concept in more formal debates.

Does anyone else have this problem? Is these common aspie or autistic traits?

I think this is a fairly common trait. There seems to be a pretty big disparity between intellect and emotions for most aspies/auties. I actually started a thread similar to this not too long ago that may help with some insight.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt47116.html

I have the problem of keeping my cool and thinking intelligently and not realising I'm upset inside until I finally freak out, which cancels out all the good points I had made earlier.

I think the trick is, paulsinnerchild, is to just keep all facts staight in your head while arguing, try not to be clouded by emotion, if you know you're right just keep that in mind the whole time, and end it quickly before you realise you're upset.

I suspect that people on the autistic spectrum often "suffer" from a differential in the speed of their cognitive centers, and the speed of their speech centers. Maybe, or maybe not, but your meltdown may be triggered by frustration over that differential. Personally, my native communication speed is much faster than my mouth forms words, which can cause a backlash, confusion, loss of train of thoughts, frustration, etc. Stress and pressure of argument just makes the feedback worse, creating a negative feedback loop.

I've been told from a very young age that I speak too quickly; I feel like I can't speak quickly enough, and that everyone else speaks too slowly. (I somehow think I would not get along well with Ents.)

Good fortune,

- Icarus talks at the speed of light...

I'm very convincing in both debates and friendly discussions. But the fact that the only time I actually engage in a heated argument ususally when I'm in the middle of a "meltdown" means that I just don't think straight enough to explain myself and get my point across.

I do too. I worry too much about having too little time to think about what I want to say, so in the end, I don't think straight. This doesn't happen very often anymore though, so it's not really much of a problem. Plus I don't get meltdowns.

I love spontaneous arguments and debates; they fill me with a deep, competative excitement that is difficult to replicate.

I went through a stage where I lived to debate. I ahted debate, but I did it all the time anyway because I felt a moral obligation as a human beign to change and better the world to make as many people happy as I could. I hated to be yelled at or insulted in arguments, but I couldn't do a damn thing about it and that made me depressed. Why couldn't I do a thing about it? Because I did the same thing to others who had opinions I thought were absolutely wrong. I was very very adamant about my morals and opinions and thought it was bad to have the other morals; they were wrong. They weren't morals!


Now I'm much more diplomatic. I realized that being yelled at and insulted and belittled kills as many people as abortions or capital punishment does.

I come from a family of argument-prone "extreme NTs". I've learned the language of an argument, and I can win any debate thrown my way. With an NT. Arguing with my Aspie husband is a disaster, however, and usually ends tearfully on my part.