Why I think I'm an aspie

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I always knew I was a strange, quirky person, but I never saw any unifying theme to my strangeness.

Then, about two years ago, I happened to be reading a news story online about autism. I followed a link for more information and what I saw there opened my eyes. I started looking at the traits, and to my surprise, my seemingly unrelated quirks could be related after all. Here was something with a name, that other people experienced as well. It wasn't just me. I didn't understand AS very well at the time, so I didn't suspect I had it, but I thought I might be on the spectrum. About a year later, I started looking into it further, and decided AS fits me rather well. The more I learn about it, the more I think I'm an aspie.

I took the aspie quiz and got AS 116/200 and NT 75/200. I figure I am a mild apsie who has figured out workarounds for a lot of issues.

I'd like to list all the traits that I seem to have, but this post could get too long. Here are some obvious ones.

hate small talk
unable to make conversation in large groups
hopeless at parties
having one friend at a time (didn't realize this wasn't normal)
enjoy being alone
talk to myself a lot

failure at sports
limitations with fine motor skills
you should have seen me last week trying to use a hammer and forgetting to hold on to it

interests in all the weird aspie things while no interest in regular, mainstream things
no interest in dressing up, or wearing makeup or jewelry
difficulty with multitasking
don't fit gender stereotypes well at all

easily annoyed/startled/distracted (by loud noises, etc.)
super-acute hearing
touch sensitivity issues

math whiz
good with patterns
good at anything abstract
excellent with spatial/visual reasoning, but totally suck at it if in relation to my own body
detail-oriented

Here I have to resist the temptation to explain each of these things in great detail, so as not to give the wrong impression with any of them. You see, I'm used to being misunderstood, so sometimes I try to go out of my way to overexplain things. I'll be happy to expand on any of these if anyone is interested. When I was a kid, I just didn't bother to talk much at all. I've actually made huge improvements in many areas since I was a kid.

I don't feel very well connected to the physical world. It doesn't seem as real to me most of the time. I live inside my "head" and get reports from my senses that are like reading something in the newspaper about an event taking place in another part of the world. Don't know if this is an AS thing, but if not, what could cause this?

There are some traits I do not have.

I don't stim (maybe I should start?)
don't require rigid routines - change is ok, I handle it with lots of planning
can read people's facial expressions - however I tend to rely more on listening to the words they say

I don't think I have enough symptoms to be diagnosed with any other disorder that I've ever heard of, but AS could potentially explain every single issue I've ever had.

So, I've been lurking here for a while, and I like it here!

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Ahh, yes... maybe I should have listed stuff out like that too. That last one was a complain my current roommate had recently "You are too focused to much on the words I say, you don't understand how I feel at all!" Just because it was phrased almost exactly the same way.

Oh, and your screenname, wouldn't a crushed Pentagon be just a higher order Polygon? You could say it's probably better that way because now it's more complex.

I'm pretty new here too, and I have almost all of those traits in common, ESPECIALLY the compulsive habit of overexplaining myself. I also have trouble conversing in groups. I hate small talk. I feel like the only way I get around it is by scripting what I'm going to say in the event that someone asks "What's up", and then saying it when they do ask.

One thing I strongly regret is that when I was younger, I utilized a much more diverse spectrum of vocabulary whenever I spoke, but this provoked weird looks among my peers, so I strived to "talk like normal people do". I used to speak like Calvin, from Bill Watterson's comic, "Calvin and Hobbes". Now I just sound like everybody else.

What you said about feeling a disconnect between you and the physical world describes me too, but I think it's a personality trait that's not associated with AS. There's a Myers-Briggs personality test which has different attributes and characteristics. According to the test, I would guess that you fall under Intuition (as opposed to Sensing), which is where I am too. I'm a INTP, (tho I might be a INFP, I'm not sure).

that stuff makes sense to me. Welcome!

YEP, you sound like you are AS! As for stims? Maybe you DO!! !! !! I know that shocked ME! HECK, I met someone from here just last sunday. I didn't know how aspie I would come across. You know, I was SO nervous that I started doing a lot of things that people here consider stims, but others might say "Odd, but NO!". Just one of the odder examples?

I tactily examined the hubs on the clasp on my baseball hat, and opened and closed it A LOT! It is like there is some kid inside wanting to explore, and he does it covertly if I am nervous or bored! If I had a pen, I might have examined the chamber, and clicked it all night. I know how they work, and have since I was no older than a toddler, yet I STILL do that!

Don't get me wrong, most people wouldn't have noticed. It isn't even obvious to ME! It is like I brought a kid along that is doing this, and doesn't want me to find out, but they are MY hands! I also do the rocking, but it is subtle.

BTW I am not that great at math, it is only gross motor with me, and I can multitask, and got a higher AS score on RDOS' test, but otherwise your list sounds much like mine.

I thought it was funny when you said that change is ok. You handle it with lots of planning. Therefore, change is not really okay. You have to plan ahead for it.

Sound like one of us. Welcome to the club.

I looked at the stuff about depersonalization, but I don't think it applies. I do get derealization sometimes, probably due to stress or lack of sleep.

It's more like I have a simulation of the world inside my head all the time. I experience the world through the simulation. It seems more real to me than directly experiencing things. I have the impression that my senses are just proxies.

I've been like this since I was a kid of 7 or 8 at least. It's not really a problem. It doesn't distress me. I don't feel crazy or anything. I was just wondering if there was a physical cause.

I get the feeling that I'm on stage, especially when I'm around other people. It can be very stressful when you think there's a role you have to play but you don't know what it is.

Is that anything like what you're describing?

I'd say that fits the bill.