That's right! I am HAPPY! And everything's great. My meds are working perfectly but it took longer than I expected. Its a miracle that it worked at all. I've tried so many meds and failed each time but now my Zoloft and Invega help me so much. I have these racing thoughts that won't slow down and it sometimes takes me several hours to fall asleep. I am an artist and have so many ideas coming in my lovely head of mine. I want to write and illustrate 3 books over the next year. My mom is an author for bird books so one of those books will obviously be about birds and I draw all the pictures for it! She just got through writing one and I have a few pictures in it so I hope and pray the publisher uses the pictures. This is not the same book that I want to start on. I also have a children's book that I need to illustrate over the next year. I have too many ideas! Then the other book will be about my story, which is unique. I have high functioning autism along with pretty much everything else in the DSM- IV. My art work has helped me kind of get out of autism even though I still have some of the symptoms. I used to have no language at all. Now I talk 24 hours a day. I am doing this big art show some time this year. It is unknown when it will really take place. When I have a date for the show, my mom and I will contact a million places including news stations and talk shows. I want to link my website to at least a hundred sites on art and wildlife. I want to get in different magazines and stuff. I am going to be the most famous artist ever! I have been very hyper over the last month and that's not normal for me. There are some nights that I sleep only 2 hours. The medicine took away my delusions about the aliens putting a device in my brain to send thoughts to me. I don't have that anymore. Now I don't think I killed all those people in the world. It wasn't me. I am innocent. But the government is after everyone on this planet. That is their job! I used to have multiple personalities and the lovely medicine has helped with that some how even though there is no medicine for DID. My anti psychotic helped with it. I wonder now if the personalities were just delusions and I never had DID. Sometimes I get so hyper and "manic" that I talk real fast, too fast for people to keep up with me. I don't have the negative effects of a manic episode though. I don't spend too much money or take stupid risks. I just feel great! When I make the big time money I will spend a lot by taking my family on a nice cruise. I hope I get to that point. I'm not as worthless or hopeless as I was just a few months ago. I am drawing and painting 24 hours a day and it feels great! I hope this never ends. I pray that I don't go into a deep, dark depression all over again which I have been so many times in my life. That's all for now.
08 Nov 2007, 7:43 pm
