My immediate NT family likes to play head games

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When I first learned about my Aspergers, I did not tell my immediate family.
{Said family consists of my mom and my older sister}

At an IEP meeting, when my mom was told of my diagnosis, she did not buy it.
Through her religious views, being autistic is the equivilant to being gay.
She has considered sending me to a mental institution or anger management classes because she believes it is something else.

As for my sister, she is an all-out control freak and wants me to do things with her.
Things that I am not interested in and have no desire to take part in.
Anytime something goes wrong, she likes to blame me.
Anytime she talks to me, she talks in very long sentences that I cannot comprehend.
Because of this, my sister thinks it is typical male behavior.

I love my immediate family but this has gone out-of-hand.
I have tried all the solutions but none have worked.
Is there a solution that will work temporarily?

How old are you that you know of your dx yet your mom has to find out in an IEP meeting? That might be a BIG part of the problem - she may feel that things are being done without her involvement and simply forced on her, where she has no choice or input. I suspect she's resisting more because of that than religious ideals - religious ideals are just a front for her to not go along with what she feels is someone else's plan.

I take she's some sort of fundamentalist type, and that's typically how those type react. NBC anchor Brian Williams once said that he listen to RUsh Limbaugh because he feels obliged, since Rush speaks to a group of people who feels no one was talking to before and who feels cut off from the larger societal dialogue. Williams disagrees with Rush, yet he's aware that there's people out there that find comfort in him being on the air, because they don't connect with anyone else. Try to see that fundamentalists are like that too - they feel marginized, cut-off, disenfranchised, be it real or imagined, for a number of reasons, and that's a very powerful feeling. They feel that their religious ideals give them a place to make a stand and fight back - not unlike how some Aspies feel the alledged NT-Aspie divide gives them grounds to point fingers too (hint, hint). It's very irrational, but that's why it's so hard to deal rationally with these people (both fundamentalists and Aspies. or anyone else who acts like this). But try to think of it in that way - as frustrating as those ideals may be to you, your mom may be feeling bullied by the school district or diagnostician or whomever, and she's pushing back.

There's no easy solution there but you shuld strive to be forgiving and patient. If you;re old enough to know your AS dx before your mom, then you're old enough to say to her that you agree with the dx and will not go to treatment for other problem you do not think applies to your situation. Tell her you respect her opinion, but disgree because you understand why you are dx'd with AS and it fits, regradless to how she chooses to see things. This will make her feel rejected, probably, but try not to lose your temper with her.

As for your sister, she sounds emotionally needy and immature. If she is aware of you needing an IEP and having AS, she likely feels competitive with you for attention. By forcing you to do thing SHE wants to do or blaming you for things are ways of diminishing positive attention on you and maybe channeling that attntion to her. Or at least that's what she hopes. You can choice to ignore her or you can try to bargain with her - tell her you'll do certain things she wants to do if and only if the next time you two do something you want to do. No complaining or whining, or the deal's off. Either completely fair and respectful, or you two simply go on each other's way. Tell her she needs to learn tht you two are different people and that there ought to be respect between you to, not a competition. If you try that route, good luck. That hasn't worked with my brother, who's not NT but a very obvious un-dx'd Aspie. I almost wish he was NT, because then he would be easier to talk to! As is, he's the typical AS man, completely out of touch with his emotions and really good at sounding rational and logical, even when he's way, way off the beam (which is often). He has baggage he won't let go and tries to make my life miserable because of it. I simply have to ignore him.

Please answer me- how exactly is that?

How old are you? If you're 16+, is there a way you can become emancipated and live elsewhere? My husband did, not over autism but because of his mother's inability to care for him. Actually, he left before that and lived with a foster family. He was failing school, not eating well and getting violent because of his home life. Because he was able to leave that situation, he became an honor student (gaining scholarships), got healthy and learned to work and support himself.
It just sounds very, very abusive to me.

does she think of the two as being sinful or abominations? is that what u mean?

one of my stepdads also likes playing games. when he used to cook dinner he made alot of little things to eat and never made enough food for 7 people (yes my family is large and mixed race) its terrible! and then when you got too much of one thing hed yell at you and call you all kinds of names. i learned real quick to never eat anything he made

It's probably that she feels it's a choice.

I would have much more preferred an answer from AnonymousAnonymous her/himself, because AnonymousAnonymous is the only one in contact with the mother in question.
Since no real answer has come yet, I'm going to simply make completely unfounded thoughts as to why the mother believes this.
I am going to assume that your mother is a Christian, since Christianity is the most common religion, and, according to the Bible, homosexuality is a sin (Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:24-26, and I'm sure there are others). Homosexuality is a sin because it is a perversion away from the perfection G-d had intended. Homosexuality runs contrary to the physical design of humankind. Likewise, an abnormal mind such as yours and mine is a deviation away from normalcy and runs contrary to the psychological design of humankind.
I am really not very comfortable with this guess, but since your mother is willing to accept sending you to a mental institution or anger-management classes, I'm therefore imagining that your mother believes that neither homosexuality nor autism is a choice.
Her belief that autism is a sin is completely unfounded. If you could give me some way to contact your mother, I'm willing to fight for you. I know the Bible quite well really, so she may come around if she just sees another point of view though the Bible.

Yes, she is Catholic.
She grew up in a very religious country in a very religious family.
There is the possibility she could have Aspergers herself and not even know it.
She believes both homosexuality and autism are both choices and I do not know why.
My mom has been in the country since the late 1970s and is still not used to American cultures.
How's that?

Ask her how she considers autism a sin.
Also challenge her to wonder why in the world a person would choose to have a mental condition that impairs social interaction. Challenge her to find anything in the Bible or the words of the Pope that suggest that it is sinful to simply be very weak socially.
Monks go into their monasteries, don't they?
That's hardly at all different from an autistic person being locked in her/his own mind.