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beauteousday
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07 Nov 2007, 5:05 pm

i need someones opinion. i have recently told my parents about my autism and they refuse to believe it. I can function very well with my parents, but i act completely different with my friends. I feel like I can be myself. When i told my dad, he was pretty cool about it and said it made a lot of sense as to why i am the way i am. But then all of the sudden , my mom and dad pretty much turned on me. When i would bring it up, they would tell me that they "don't want people to put ideas into my head", and "everyone is special in there own way, they're just trying to label you." it makes me sad because i spent most of my childhood locked up in my room because i hated being around other people, well i rather didn't understand why other people talked to eachother. Anyways, i'm conflicted because my parents seem to hate my aspergers diagnosis, and hate my friends who accept it and love it.

I'm torn between. my parents love me, but i just can't wrap my mind around it for the life of me. why do people act this way?

HELP!



Eller
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07 Nov 2007, 5:12 pm

I think your parents are scared - scared of what the diagnosis means for their family, scared of having a "mentally ill" child, so they'd rather deny it completely. It ist a perfectly understandable first reaction. They'll come around, I'm sure.



richardbenson
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07 Nov 2007, 5:25 pm

my mom wanted to sell me to science as soon as she found out i was aspergers. of course i didnt let that happen though, i clearly remember when she asked me. we were in the car and she was all like so i heard on the radio people like studing people like you and you can earn money doing it. thats when i had a flipout session in the car and almost pulled out my cock. thats how offended i was



KingdomOfRats
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07 Nov 2007, 5:33 pm

beauteousday wrote:
i need someones opinion. i have recently told my parents about my autism and they refuse to believe it. I can function very well with my parents, but i act completely different with my friends. I feel like I can be myself. When i told my dad, he was pretty cool about it and said it made a lot of sense as to why i am the way i am. But then all of the sudden , my mom and dad pretty much turned on me. When i would bring it up, they would tell me that they "don't want people to put ideas into my head", and "everyone is special in there own way, they're just trying to label you." it makes me sad because i spent most of my childhood locked up in my room because i hated being around other people, well i rather didn't understand why other people talked to eachother. Anyways, i'm conflicted because my parents seem to hate my aspergers diagnosis, and hate my friends who accept it and love it.

I'm torn between. my parents love me, but i just can't wrap my mind around it for the life of me. why do people act this way?

HELP!

beauteousday,
it's very common to happen,but with some aspergers education,and time-they likely will get used to the idea.

get a good book about aspergers,am not good on books about aspergers so cannot personally recommend any,but the tony attwood books usually get a good rating on here.
leave it around for them to read.
make sure they know are still the same person just because there is now a label [which was always there except not in name] and nothing has changed,and they are not to blame.



Novinha
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07 Nov 2007, 5:41 pm

My guess would be that your parents want you to be happy, and they think that you won't be if you don't believe you're "normal." This seems to be the reaction of almost everyone I've told... "Oh, don't worry, you're normal! It's just that everyone else doesn't get it! You seem perfectly fine to me." In reality, I'd be a lot more "fine" if they didn't try to persuade me back into confusion... but I try not to let it bother me, because I know they mean well. But my point is, do you think that could be the case with your parents?


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Weirdobird
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07 Nov 2007, 6:11 pm

I work with other neurodiverse clients, and this is common. Let me present you another point of view.

Unless you were adopted, then your condition came from your parents. Now think, how are we as a group, AS and autistics, etc? How are our beliefs? How strongly can we feel about something and stick to it? When we get hung up on something, how well can we argue our case? I for one, can be painfully pedantic without daily treatment. Well, my friend, your parents do not have this daily treatment and they have the genes they passed onto you, so guess what? They are hung up on this wacky idea that seems logical to them about this silly "label" stuff and they will pedantically argue their case, and argue their case, and argue their case...... Like I'm doing now, see? Why? Because I'm an aspie.

:lol: :cry: :lol: :cry: :lol: :cry: :lol: :cry: :? :? :?


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :?



IdahoRose
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07 Nov 2007, 6:34 pm

Sometimes parents don't want to admit there's something wrong with their child. My mom says my sisters noticed my autistic behaviors from the time I as very young, but she didn't take me to get evaluated because she didn't want to believe there was anything wrong with me.



Remnant
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07 Nov 2007, 6:46 pm

They could simply actually disbelieve in the diagnosis. The younger people here are the third generation of teenagers who have had to put up with poking and prodding and "diagnoses" based on signs, portents, and the readings of entrails, then also had to put with "treatments" that forced their lives into unnatural and demeaning new routines that actually did mess up with their heads. I was the schizophrenic generation, next was the ADD/ADHD generation, and after that it looks like the autistic generation.



sonny1471
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08 Nov 2007, 3:48 pm

I found the same to be true of my partner when I told him about my suspicions. He was very reluctant at first to even entertain the idea when I brought it up. He said he thought I was trying to use that as an excuse for my weird behavior. I ended up resolving it by continually giving him literature to read about it in the simplest terms. The more he read (bit by bit) the more he came to understand that I know what I'm talking about.

I'm not sure if that will work with your parents or not. I suggested to my mother (who does have some of her own aspie traits) that I was aspie after my nephew was diagnosed. She didn't see it at first but after we sat down and I talked to her more about my childhood behavior, it all became a lot more clear to her as well.



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08 Nov 2007, 7:09 pm

So your dad was cool with it at first, then they both want to deny it. Do both of your parents have a problem with it, or does your mom have the problem and your dad is echoing it?


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beauteousday
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08 Nov 2007, 7:35 pm

my dad was cool with it, but then my mom got angry by "them" putting ideas in my head. My family is upset with people labeling me. I've been different since i was born and feel good that i know what it is, but since i am generally detatched emotionally from my parents, they don't see any of my true aspie characteristics. So they basically think that i'm making things up in my head.