What Would Help You ??

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I met a bloke the other day who said he wants to start a business that helps paople on the Autistic Spectrum. I volunteered that I'm an ASpie. He asked me "What would help people on the spectrum?"

Mind you, he's NT, and operating a business. Some people he helps are so low functioning, they just send someone 'round so the mum can have a day "off". But others are all over the spectrum.

So what would help YOU?
Social Skills? Companionship?
Would you like some one to help you learn to drive a car?
Be more independant?

(Do be reasonable, the man isn't operating a brothel.)

As for brothels, I haven't been to one yet, and don't plan to. The idea of simply having sex, with just any stranger, especially if it is with a person that may be diseased, etc... is insane. And NOPE, there is no test for whatever. They ALL require a lead time.

SO, I would mostly like "Social Skills and Companionship"

educating the NTs about aspergers. The best way to help us, is to educate the ignorant and non/misinformed. We already know enough about them, but they think we're... ehhh, i'm not even going to go there haha really though... i mean it!

http://www.myspace.com/mikegeorgemusic

I could use someone to help me with organizational skills that have to do with every day living... someone to remind me that I need to do certain things and make sure they get done, lol, and maybe be moral support if it is something that I really have difficulty doing, such as making doctors appointments. I could also use someone to remind me of what things *should* be priority in my household... to set limits kind of, lol, as my interests often keep me focused and I don't see outside of them until after the fact, or until it's 3 a.m. and I'm so tired I'm falling asleep in my chair before realizing I haven't touched dishes or laundry in days.

It sounds silly, but it's almost like I need someone who is not my parent to be a parent. My mom would be great, lol, as she doesn't put up with much, but we butt heads a lot, and it's a lot easier for me to accomplish things when it is a peer that is telling me to do them. It seems to make more sense to me for some reason, not sure really why.

Companionship... meh, if I *really* wanted companionship that bad, I could just adjust and make friends... my thoughts tend to get in the way. It's not that I can't change that at times, or couldn't figure out a way, it's just that I've been like this for so long that making friends really isn't a priority to me... I'm just not motivated in that direction right now. I never get bored thinking, or figuring things out on my own and often get annoyed if someone intervenes during it, lol, so I'm not so sure that is something that I need a lot of at the moment. I'll come back and comment if that part of me changes soon Which, it could very well happen... just depends on what I get focused on in my mind really.

Mainly just order, organization, a strict schedule... these things that I know I need and for some reason cannot figure out a way to accomplish them on my own. Help with this would be GREAT. I never feel like I'm keeping up with the world around me in this sense... I've never grown up into a fully responsible adult, lol, as my interests still take priority over everything. Every time I think I've caught up with everyone, I look around and realize I'm a long way away from actually "being there".

Last edited by nobodyzdream on 12 Nov 2007, 6:22 pm, edited 3 times in total.

~ahem~
I only included that because I thought the young chaps would immediately want drop-in prostitutes...

what exactly does the business do?
is it an agency for support?
a buddies/mentor scheme?

Its a visiting 'helper' type thing. You, or your parent, choose the type of help you could use, and a person drops by to help you with that skill.
Like the organizational skill nobodyzdream mentions. You choose that, and the person drops by and sits down with you and works on getting you organized. Lists, planning, cleaning up, that sort of thing.
A bit like a "paid mentor", if that makes sense .....

I would like a helper, someone just to come round and do the things that I know I'd never get round to doing, but maybe I should just learn to do them myself.

A bit of tidying up, then???

nobodyzdream OBVIOUSLY doesn't have problems with companionship.

I COULD also use help to do organization better, like I once did.

And wot leads you to that conclusion, eh???

lol, well, I do at times. I mean, it's hard, and I have moments where I realize I will never be the same as everyone else, and will probably never have real friends, will always be disconnected... and those moments are always depressing, but they are not a constant for me. I'm still on a trail of self-discovery and my focus has shifted to attempting to raise awareness That and having two kids and being in college kind of numbs that feeling of loneliness, lol.

If I didn't have all of those things going on and had more time to think about it, I would probably want companionship, lol.

My main source of depression usually is just kind of realizing my place is rather chaotic looking, unorganized, no set schedule (except a few things we do every single evening)... unstructured. Since that is what I go home to every night, that is what hits me in the face all of the time and comes up as a chronic headache, lol. So of course, priority in that sense has put it first.

In all honesty, I think it might just be a mix of stubbornness along with not having the time to maintain a proper relationship with most (aside from my kids and bf) that keeps me from wanting companionship. My mind doesn't allow the time, and I'm currently just unwilling to change ultimately, I guess it is. I'd like to find out how one day (mostly for my relationship currently, as it is shaky from time to time), but right now I need to tend to immediate needs, lol. It's a scary thought-with companionship (friendship as I look at it), comes so many social expectations, things I'll be expected to do and never understand, etc.-the whole thing is intimidating ultimately and frustrating to try to grasp.

It's a lot of work-I need to work on me for me first, and when I get that set up, where things are a bit more relaxed, I think I would be more open to look at the latter situation, lol. That's when I'll be able to focus on the aspect of changing my mannerisms (if possible) so I at least have outlets and resources ultimately. As I said, I'd like to be able to do it some day... just right now the concept is way too overwhelming, as I'll be diving head first into a situation I'll never fully understand, lol, and will have to make a lot of adjustments (while fighting my natural instinct to question EVERYTHING and wanting answers) to "fit in" and make friends... then I'll have to keep up with those friendships, lol. It's going to be a lot of work, and I have a TON I'm working on as it is

Great, now that I'm thinking about it, am I just purely stubborn and unwilling to change altogether? lol, maybe just laziness? Dunno what it is, but I know I will do something about it one day when I get the immediate needs out of the way It does make me sound rather self-centered though, lol

Last edited by nobodyzdream on 12 Nov 2007, 7:25 pm, edited 5 times in total.

I agree. Plus, it's illegal in most places.

Tim

She is female was married has kids and, as I recall is attractive. She also said she doesn't need such help!
So I would say it is a fair bet.

Social problem one, we do not speak the same language.

Let's organize your life, by throwing away what makes it your life.

Even within the language group, I could see me organizing nobodyzdream.

Strip it to parts, put everything in the yard, paint the frame, then paint and install each part.

OK, you won't go for that, buy paper plates, put the dirty dishes in a garbage bag on the curb.

OK, put the dishes on the floor, scrub the sinks, the cabinets, then wash and put away, leave a half sink of water and soap, when you can see them, wash them.

OK, take the worst job, bath, kitchen, and go at it till it is spotless. Then the next worst.

Your butterfly collection, world peace, Master Degree, will have to wait till the laundry is done.

A clean house disorients some, nothing to do, clutter needs me.

That burnt piece of toast has meaning in a larger context.

I am much better at cleaning other people's houses. They hate me for it. Like a cat spraying the drapes, claiming the space. Og's bones in Og's cave!

Perhaps a uniform and a gun would be enough, the Clutter Police. Most likely a cattle prod would be needed.

AS is not a leader or a follower, but fair at being a prisoner/inmate.

I have my eye on an old POW camp, Aspie Boot. Much easier to take them out of the world for training. The next food and water is ten miles that way, I hope you can read a compass.

Isolated, loner, antisocial, hermit, seeks friends, companions, social interaction, to learn social skills, and become like people he does not know, does not want to know, and in fact, hates.

I think you are missing something here Prof.

something like big brother? people to volunteer social time and to do social things with... so ppl on spectrum can have some semblance of an enjoyable life?