Why do so many NTs dislike us so much?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm trying to understand the NT mentality and would like to read some intelligent comments on the subject....

I think they dislike us because they don't understand AS and Autism.

We're all raised to understand what's right and wrong, good and bad and expected and not expected. Well, we display "not quite right" and we are the "unexpected". Some autistics are forgiven because they "look" disabled. whatever that means.
I remember years ago, when my son was about 3 (he still fit in the seat of shopping cart). We were at the pharmacy and had to wait for my husband's meds. Something set my son off, he wasn't speaking but otherwise "looked normal and healthy". He was crying at the top of his lungs. I couldn't soothe him, hold him, scold him or anything. It was taking an awfully long time. Soon, people were loudly talking about "I'd get slapped if I did that!", glaring at us, me. We finally got called up and I got the meds. I looked over and there was a mom with her "clearly autistic" child. He was inside the cart, older than my son and rocking, hitting his head and moaning. No one said a word, no one even looked at them. For a moment, I was jealous of that mom. I started to cry. Why do they forgive her son and not mine?!

Do you prefer to be hated or pitied?

Because we don't keep the "rules" in relation to social interaction, so they think we are contemptuous, rude & unfriendly.

It is also anything different and unfamiliar - for example this is the reason why some people are racist or sexist or homophobic - it is that they feel threatened by what they don't understand.

I have been on the board for some time now.

I think that many NTs expect complex interactions, sending out cues and receiving vibes that most aspies don't pick up. These cues are subconscious but very strong.

So contact is made at an emotional and sunconscious level.

Does an aspie interact more strongly mind to mind? Certainly I believe that feelings are locked up and there are few easy ways to express them. Many aspies have no recourse but to have a melt down.

That's one difference and I agree that most people do not easily accept anyone who is different. Hence the problems for racial minorities, gays etc.

I think that the only way to overcome the rejection that aspies experience is by patience and acceptance. NT's like me have to become still and to really listen. We also have to learn a new language just as the aspie has to learn the social language.

Hate is everywhere.

It's a human thing (have a look in yourself and see your own hate).

NTs are nervous and uncomfortable around those they don't understand...and this is true:

[quote="KimJ"]We're all raised to understand what's right and wrong, good and bad and expected and not expected. Well, we display "not quite right" and we are the "unexpected". Some autistics are forgiven because they "look" disabled. whatever that means.

I remember years ago, when my son was about 3 (he still fit in the seat of shopping cart). We were at the pharmacy and had to wait for my husband's meds. Something set my son off, he wasn't speaking but otherwise "looked normal and healthy". He was crying at the top of his lungs. I couldn't soothe him, hold him, scold him or anything.

It was taking an awfully long time. Soon, people were loudly talking about "I'd get slapped if I did that!", glaring at us, me. We finally got called up and I got the meds. I looked over and there was a mom with her "clearly autistic" child. He was inside the cart, older than my son and rocking, hitting his head and moaning. No one said a word, no one even looked at them. For a moment, I was jealous of that mom. I started to cry. Why do they forgive her son and not mine?!

quote] They could explain the other child's behaviour by saying to themselves he wasn't "normal". They just don't "get" that a normal looking child would behave any differently to the ones they were used to.

Unfortunately, I would have got very distressed in a shop with a yelling child and the aspieness would have started to come out - putting my hands over my ears, mumbling to myself, getting agitated. Usually I can act fairly "normal" in public but noises that are really loud can cause this facade to drop very quickly.

'us' ?

speak for yourself.

maybe 'they' have reason to hate you, most likely 'they' could not care less.

( this an intelligent enough response for a snob ?)