Correcting people wins you no friends...

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The other day I had on my ceil blue jacket as I was about to leave work, and ended up talking to a co-worker...I haven't been able to figure out whether or not this guy and I are friends. We've done a couple projects outside of work, and have some interests in common. So, as I was handing him something, he looked at me smiling and said, "Love the purple!" And I was startled, and said, "What's purple?" He meant my jacket. And I said, "It's not purple, it's ceil! C-E-I-L!" And he just turned back to his work, and I left.
This sort of thing happens to me a lot.

Spelling it out was overkill, IMO. It comes across as though you are saying that he's an idiot, even if that's not what you are saying.

I never heard of a colour called C-E-I-L. To my eyes, it probably would have been purple. Is it just a shade of purple? Can you post a picture of something that is ceil, versus something that is purple, so that we can see what you are talking about? I probably would have reacted as he did. After all, what more would there be to discuss at that point?

Out of curiousity, how would you have responded if the other person jumped up and down and screamed It's purrrrple PURRRPLEEE AHHHHHHHHHHH!! !!

On a serious note, I too have trouble with compliments.

I have often felt that if I corrected people or demonstrated my strengths, it would be perceived as "showing off." Yet, correcting my mistakes, which are admittedly numerous, is okay. The truth is, if I weren't corrected, I'd probably make a big fool of myself. I hate saying a wrong word or not being able to do a simple task.

I'm like that all the time too. Though I usually figure out it's a compliment after a while.

Example conversation:
Friend: Hey, I love your new bag!
Me: I hate it. The straps are always twisted and it hangs too low.
-awkward pause-
Me: Um, I mean, thanks.

Two notes...

1. I have a terrible time with compliments. If someone says they like what I'm wearing, I typically blurt out where it's from. No thank you or anything, just the info about where I bought it.

2. I also tend to correct people too much. In my mind, I'm helping them out and making sure they have the right information. I've been told it comes across as rude and "know it all".

I've never heard of ceil either but if I had, I probably would have done the same thing.

i used to correct teachers at school all the time. it got to the point where in maths the teacher would ask me if it was correct before i could say anything. also if someone else thought there was something wrong, the teacher would say "it can't be wrong, sally hasnt said anything". im not sure if the teachers appreciated it or not, but no one ever told me not to, so i just carried on doing it.

I'm an artist and I deal with all sorts of colors. Ceil is a slightly purplish blue and if someone called it purple I certainly would not get emotional about it. Your reaction is way out of line.

I don't think your reply was out of line, as much as maybe slightly over the top. I'm very interested in colors and I prolly would have said, I've never heard of that before. Not one of the standard ones that come in the big box of Crayolas, I take it.

I tend to have alot of conversations like that.

Random person: Hey, how are you today, Liverbird?
Liverbird: I've got a headache and my boss sent out an email this morning saying that I missed a meeting that I didn't know about, the weather's too cold, and my allergies are irritated.
(awkward pause)
Liverbird: Sorry, I took the off ramp to TMI land there, didn't I? I'm okay. (Meaning of course, boy by that strange look on your face, I can see that you didn't really care how I was and I just gave you WAY more info than you were actually seeking).

These kind of corrections are often interpreted as showing off or having some kind of superiority complex. Also, ceil is not a well-known color, except among fashion or graphic designers. So when he was giving you a compliment, his focus was on saying something nice to you, rather than getting the right color. I learned this concept the hard way. Now I either don't bother correcting the person I'm talking to, or if his/her mistake is important, correct him/her quietly and discreetly.

I once corrected my English teachers pronunciation of the word "Judicial" Can you believe that? (No wonder Americans are so behind the rest of the world w/ regards to education.) It really pissed him off through which made it so much more enjoyable for me as he was one of those "Bully teachers"
Now that I'm older instead of just glaringly pointing out their mistakes, I try to just use the word in a sentence with the correct pronunciation. That way they hear it used correctly and I don't make them feel like an idiot. They know they said it wrong.
I did Go OFF one time when a teacher did not know what Mt. Vesuvius was. I was astounded. I started practically screaming at her.
"You don't know what Mt. Vesuvius is and your a TEACHER! My kid is NEVER going to public school, I can't believe this crap, what kind of shoddy educational system do we have that the TEACHER doesn't even know basics , how are you gonna teach my kid, thank god for home-schooling, etc. etc."
Should feel bad for her but I don't.

That was a very aspie thing to say, i.e. insisting on a technical detail most people would have been oblivious to.

As a teenager I remember insisting "It's not a rubber, it's an erasing crayon! !! !"

(The point being that I had made up the word "erasing crayon" myself - to anyone else it would have been just a funny shaped rubber. Though I suppose in the US you do call them "erasers".... but I didn't know that at the time!)

I know it was essentially a rude thing to say. I don't think I said it in a mean way, more surprised- I had no idea what he was talking about because, to me, nothing was purple (really, I only spelled it so he wouldn't think "seal"). Perhaps people would think it was periwinkle...but we work in healthcare where it's sort of a common color (if you google "ceil blue," you can see what I am talking about). It really was just more of a conversation killer.
This is something I really struggle with. I just don't know how to get from "coworkers" to "friends."
BTW thanks everyone for your insightful responses *sigh*. I will try to think before speaking impulsively and condescendingly next time...

quoted for truth

I remember my father in law, who likes to "show off what he knows", was going on about a "tucalate" (too-ka-lot-tay). He was kind of snarky that I didn't know what that meant (I'm a Spanish major). He said it was an owl. I said, that's not the word for owl. He insisted it was. I looked it up in the dictionary. The Spanish word for owl is, "tecolote" (tay co low tay).

didn't go over very well.

If you didn't know what he was talking about because you weren't wearing purple, the only thing I see you did "out of place" was spelling the word.

there