Autism and RESPECT

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would love to get some input and comments from everyone here!
Thanks!
Phil
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUaDZvZSh4Y[/youtube]

i always try to respect every one..though not sure was that a guestion:P

Phil, I wrote you directly on your youtube site after I was diagnosed with Asperger's as an adult under the name brandonkirk. You never replied.

This is a pretty open question. You asked a few different questions, but the one I am going to answers is: What do you think about when you think about autism and respect?

I don't know many people who have autism, so I can't speak for their experiences, but when I think of those two things according to my experience, I can only remark on with how little dignity and respect I am treated with growing up and not knowing what my problem is. It's not so bad anymore, because I'm older and know more about myself and autism and because I don't surround myself with buffoons anymore. But when I grew up, especially during adolescence, I knew I was different and people around me especially knew I was different. I often came across as ret*d because I didn't act like everyone else, or I stumbled a lot and made a lot of social gaffes. It was strange, and actually very horrible. It was horrible because if I were really ret*d, I wouldn't know how I was different and unwelcome and unwanted. Being intelligent, I knew that I was screwing up, that I was unwanted and especially that I didn't belong. That is what was so painful and horrifying to me. I depressed for a lot of my adolescence, because I didn't understand what my problem is and people did not understand me and few exhibited any kind of compassion.

I did have some friends... but I was kind of a passive kid and people would often take advantage of me. I basically had friends because I have a lot of integrity and I don't screw my friends over. So the friends that I do get, I keep. But a lot of them, I left because I didn't want them anymore, mainly because they didn't respect me. I'm pretty aware of the way things work now. People mostly don't behave respectfully, unless they have a good reason. If they don't think it's necessary to treat you well, and they don't see any benefit to treating you well, they won't. Therefore you have to command respect and don't surround yourself with, well, @ssh0les. I don't let people take advantage of me anymore and I don't surround myself with buffoons.

But that's the first thing I thought about when you asked that question: ain't get no respect.

Various people have disrespected me with the following..

..telling me they think that I can't do, finish or accomplish things I know I can.

..telling me I'm 'slow' because they heard I have AS.

..suddenly we are not 'fitting in' with a certain group of people after disclosing that we have Aspergers to them. They suddenly seem to act as different people who give less attention than before, rather than keep communicating with me as before.

..asking me why I can't be more normal, or act smarter. "Don't you want any friends?"

Sheesh. I feel a person is respecting me if they treat me more like they treat other people in general, even if it seems rude. That didn't happen in some situations I was in. People acted like I was a little more unfuncioning than I really am after they hear about Aspergers. I was not an equal within the group, and it was pretty obvious.

a lot of people see the negative side of autism only and fail to see the good. Lots of times if you say you have autism, people automatically get rainman in their mental picture. This is sad, because they already have a preset idea of what they think you will do. Never let anyone tell you that you cant do something. What do they know? I look at Asperger's as a bundle of possibilities. We are different, but there is a need for problem solving, creative minds. I love the fact that i can notice the dust shimmering in a window's sunbeam. Where else does that sense of wonderment come from?

fool

I showed that email you had sent me to christschool and we talked about it over the phone and we both felt that you needed to be in touch with a professional counselor of some sort.
I honestly felt that the help or insight you were seeking from me was way more than i could offer.
there were a few times i sat down to write you a response and i really tried but in the end i am not trained to help people and i felt that i could have given you disasterous advice.
It did seem like you were in pain and searching, i just think that i could have made things worse rather than better.
After a few weeks i had about another 25 emails to respond to and i let some of those go too.
I am sorry if i offended you by not answering but it was difficult for me to even know what you were really looking for.
I wish you the best though and meant you no disrespect.

Very good insight...

I don't think they are foolish at all. Please don't call names..

Last edited by LiendaBalla on 17 Nov 2007, 8:24 am, edited 2 times in total.

corn

Hank is just singing; the lyrics are nice.

Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes
Love never made a fool...

Are you asking about receiving respect or giving respect?
Respect from whom? Respect to whom?

Whe
Happens to me all the time.



Happened all the time when I was a child, even though I wasn't diagnosed with anything(and still am not). Siblings used to attack me when I'd correct them.



Sounds like my aunt. Always yelling at me to 'be normal' when I was just doing the things I do. When I was studying information about snakes as a child, she would always berate me and make comments such as "You're mental" and "You're pathetic."

When I was 8, I remember my grandma and I going to a Walmart to buy some things and I became fascinated with the flickering lights in the ceiling. I looked up at them as we were walking and she yelled at me "people will think you're ret*d." Maybe I was.