Birthday Present for an ASPIE?

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19 Nov 2007, 1:54 pm

My uncle's b-day is today...My cousins have planned NOTHING for him and he is actually a very nice person, goes out of his way to help everyone but people just don't understand him.

I know he likes music (he has tons of old LPs) and also loves to watch only things where he can learn something from. Where we live, it is a bit difficult to find stuff, but we have a Borders here, so I'm hoping that someone can give me some advice on a good present...

My cousins came up with the "get him a polo shirt or a belt" stuff...geez! I want to get him something different...something that he can enjoy...

Any ideas? Right now my plan is to get him some CDs and/or a CD player, DVDs and/or DVD player...with some history stuff or national geographic stuff, etc...I know he liked IL DIVO last time he visited me, so I'm thinking that might be good also...

Anyway, any ideas of something that ASPIE's enjoy that I could get?

Thanks so much!

Liverbird
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19 Nov 2007, 2:10 pm

Books are such highly personal things for me that I find it difficult to buy them for others. Maybe a gift card would be a good idea and offer to take him up there if he doesn't drive?

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scumsuckingdouchebag
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19 Nov 2007, 3:36 pm

What are his hobbies?

Greentea
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19 Nov 2007, 3:43 pm

What I usually do is I buy a CD or book (any CD or book) at a store that's easy for the person to go to. Then, when I give it to them, I tell them the CD/book is just a kind of voucher for them to exchange at the store for any CD/book they want. I find that people adore going to choose their books/CDs, it's lots of fun, it's an outing in itself, and since they don't have to pay for it, it's even better.

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KimJ
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19 Nov 2007, 4:01 pm

Are you familar with any record stores? (the kind that sell vinyl still?) Try to find one and get him a gift certificate. It's acknowledging his unique taste while not having to guess exactly what he likes or doesn't have yet.

Kamex
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19 Nov 2007, 4:10 pm

As an aspie, I personally find the whole "read their mind to determine the gift they want as a gesture to prove how well you know them" thing to be a bit silly. I find I always have a very specific idea of what I want, rather than a bunch of things where I don't care what I get as long as its one of them, so I'm never going to be as happy with a guessing gift as opposed to something I really want. I can't speak for him, but perhaps it might be best to just ask him what he wants instead of playing this NT ritual.

As for the polo shirt or belt thing, I don't think that will turn out well. I don't think anyone likes getting clothes, but an aspie especially may be very picky about what they wear.

Belle77
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19 Nov 2007, 5:52 pm

I don't have any advice, but I thought that I'd post something from my blog that I wrote earlier this year:

Quote:

Since it was my birthday yesterday I've been thinking about gifts. Gifts make me feel extremely awkward...both giving and receiving them. Gift giving is supposed to be an emotional experience, but I try to avoid emotional situations whenever possible because they make me so uncomfortable. It's nearly impossible for me to fake emotions, so I can't just pretend to appreciate a gift that I don't like/want/need. And I'm extremely picky so it's very difficult to buy me something that I'm going to like...unless I've specifically told you what I want. But what's the point of that? If I have to tell you exactly what I want, I might as well buy it myself. I feel the same way about giving gifts...I don't know what anyone else wants unless they tell me specifically. Again, what's the point?

So you give someone a gift that you think/hope they'll like...and include a gift receipt in case they don't. If they don't like the gift, you've now given them a job. Well, if they're like me they don't like to go shopping. That means they probably don't want to go through the hassle of returning/exchanging the gift. But again, if they're like me they don't like the idea of wasting money. That gift will be in the back of their mind for a very long time. They'll think, 'I really should return it and get the money or exchange it for something I like'. But thinking about disrupting their routine, going to a strange store, and talking to people causes them an immense amount of anxiety. So that gift that made you feel so good to give them, has caused them unneeded stress...and they probably have more stress than they can handle to begin with.

It's just my view on the gift giving situation.

Greentea
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20 Nov 2007, 2:04 pm

Well, if the person having a birthday is known to have an anxiety disorder, then of course don't give them a voucher. But most people enjoy choosing a CD or book.

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richardbenson
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20 Nov 2007, 2:34 pm

whatamess wrote:

I know he likes music

get him the album in my avatar, its called at the heart of winter or Immortal sons of northern darkness

carpathian forests black shining leather is also a hit

Fraya
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20 Nov 2007, 3:02 pm

In my family (most of us have ADs) a common gift is to take the person to their favorite store (games, books, music, etc) drive them there so they can have a relaxed trip, let them pick out what they want then you go to the front counter and pay for it for them (dealing with the clerk and money and all for the person) and drive them home to enjoy their new present.. maybe make them dinner and answer the phone for them so they wont be interrupted.

For people with ADs often the best gift is more doing some of the things they hate for them rather than any material object.

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