I've made a post like this elsewhere, but I haven't gotten much insight on the subject so I've decided try my luck here.
When I was twelve, my anger therapist mentioned something about a mood disorder, but I don't see it because my mood doesn't have highs and lows. This was around a time where I was always fighting and becoming angry over really nothing, (i.e. fighting over someone taking my chair at a cafeteria, touching me in an aggressive manner, the way someone talks or looks.) There was a common theme of cyclothymia, bipolar-II disorder, when I originally posted this Saturday, and as I said previously I don't have any noticeable manic episodes. I'd be able to recognize them as my uncle who has a bipolar disorder has allowed its symptoms and nature of it to be very apparent.
I was institutionalized later for severe depression over school and related issues --- I hadn't any friends no matter what I did, I was constantly in trouble over fighting people, and I had figured my worth was worthless due to a few remarks made by my parents. The "head doctor," or whatever the title is, there specifically said that I don't have any form of manic depression when I incorrectly mentioned my concerns about the causes of depression. I think that I the notion of manic-depression came to mind at the other forum board because I hadn't explained everything as best as I can leaving room for a broad interpretation, so I'll try rephrasing what I said here. I made an example of when I got extremely angry and it was when I was ordering at a drive-thru at Sonic, I very clearly stated my order three times, and the woman working there STILL got my order wrong after my friend helped me order everything (we had five a total of four people in the car and it got confusing for me, so I understood the first misunderstanding) so I got extremely angry because I had put so much effort into ordering for my friends and I for her to continue to get the order wrong, and I began yelling that it's not a wonder why this brain-damaged moron is stuck working at fast food chain, peeling out of the parking lot and onto the highway. A few minutes (specifically one or two minutes) later I was completely okay. My friends looked at me like I was some sociopath ready to snap into total madness, when in reality, I was calm.
I made another example regarding being happy throughout the day and ending it fairly upset. I had originally written it to where it could've been misinterpreted as the mood shift having no reason at all, but it is tied directly to the desire of not wanting the day to end because I have something I don't want to do tomorrow like go to church or school. I get the same feeling whenever I have to do something I don't want to. How should I interpret these feelings? Is it indicative of a manic-depressive disorder? I have the link to the other forum as well, if you'd like to read the replies and original post before this one.
In addition to what I think are mood irregularities, I don't know what repetitive behaviors and routines means in regards to the autism spectrum disorder criteria. I have a schedule out-of-school and allow myself to follow the predetermined school schedule during school days, but doesn't everyone? I mean, yeah, I get really annoyed when I set aside time for someone and they aren't punctual or when someone decides to make me do something spontaneously (to which I make an excuse that my parents required planning a week in advance), but again, doesn't everyone to some extent? As for repetitive behaviors, there are somethings I have to do or it makes me feel physically uncomfortable, but it's nothing I'd consider major as it's mostly involved with moving. Sure, there are jobs "I have to do" in a specific procedure, but it's not like it consumes my thinking if I don't. I give it notice, it makes me sigh, and I continue doing what I was doing or I just restart the entire process.
I hope that I receive better insight on this as I feel that this forum is subjectively more helpful, and I would like to thank you in advance for reading what I have to say.
17 Oct 2016, 1:49 pm
