Angelus-Mortis wrote:
One of my friends used to suggest that I might have forgotten how to feel emotions. Funny though because I don't remember recalling a time in my life where I did feel emotions. It never felt quite at home with me to feel some of those emotions. I always remember how my mom would read about something horrible happening in the news--she loved to tell us stuff from it, and no matter how much emotion she might have told the story with, it never bothered me much. I didn't have nightmares about them, and never really thought to make a big deal out of those things either. I sometimes didn't expect certain people to react so strongly towards something--or I knew they would react, but not as strongly as I expected.
Could not of put it better myself. I often wonder why people fuss so much, and pain now thats one of the best ones, everybody else seems to feel it for me and fuss...
Do not get me wrong I do feel emotion, but not like the NT's can feel real sad for no reason and happy and silly another time, but find have to continually control my emotions to keep the NT's happy..
At times wish I could feel real love, well what I mean is how the NT's seem too. Or is it just all hyped up to be some think its not, but at times I do feel an emotional void, like a dark little sad world that I'm trapped!
But its not all dark and there are wonderful happy moments
in my own space, in my own way. But do feel sad at times, that I have had to grow up and my emotions have been crushed time and time again by the NT world, as wrong when really they are just the real (different) me.
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