Empathy

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It was recently pointed out to me that I might have an ASD. I have spent the last week reading up on the matter, but remain undecided. Much of what I have read feels like it could have been written specifically about me, but there’s also a lot that seems quite alien. The main point of divergence is the matter of empathy. Everything that I’ve read describes people who can’t empathise, or read people’s emotions and body language. This is not me, or at least, this is not my concept of me. As far as I am concerned I am good at reading people’s body language and emotions. My troubles lie with my reaction to the other person’s body language. For example, I may notice that someone I know is feeling sad and I may wish to react to this, but either I don’t know how to react or if I do know how, it feels completely alien, like it is something someone else would do or say and I can’t bring myself to do or say it.
It is possible that I have just learned to recognise body language through my all-consuming passion (obsession) for films, as I have vague memories of situations from childhood where my thoughts lacked empathy (my memories take the form of thoughts and emotions, rather than visual recreations). In fact my love of films is perhaps related to my interest in people and people’s lives and emotions. Films allow me to witness people’s lives without actually having to be around them, and as such to avoid the crippling anxiety associated with this.
So my question is, can anyone relate to this, is impotent empathy consistent with an ASD?

If you are good at reading social clues then you probably have social anxiety rather than Asperger's.

You should indeed think back to your childhood. Maybe interview someone who knew you well back then. It's perfectly possible to learn reading some of the body language of others. It's interesting that you mentioned films in that aspect, I know that they're sometimes used to show autistic children what to look for concerning social clues. In your case I think it's worth to think about the fact that you don't know how to react to someone's body language some more. It can be a hint at an ASD, but not exclusively so.

My advice would be to investigate your childhood. That's what an autism expert would do to determine whether an adult may have an ASD or not, as many symptoms tend to change in appearance throughout life, when a person has learned to adapt to society.

I know many people who have not been diagnosed with AS because they were able to give eye contact and exhibited personable skills and affirming abilities.

I feel it of great importance that it is known that Autism is a spectrum, it is like a 'fruit salad' (Donna Williams)

It is possible to be empathic and have AS, but it does help if the pain of the another is in proximity to our own.

You think you are reading something, but what is it?

Some are good, "body actors," You know their role without a spoken line.

You cannot respond, and another blank, you may fully understand a person's silent language, feel their sadness, their inability to cope with life's problems, and as you come to help them, they ask if there is a bathroom, and some Imodium about.

Some are bad actors, and cause you to relate their lines with their body very wrong.

She is saying she is angry, wants nothing to do with him, never wants to see him again, and pouting her lips, blinking her eyes, and her body says grab me now. Real life is not old movies.

The only time I smile is when someone wants to fight, they need fear or anger, smiling and happy just screws them up.

Before empathy, you have to get what is, an it is a several step process. They are acting angry because they are unhappy about something else? Which should you empathise with?

They are sending mixed signals because they do not know where you stand. Sending mixed signals back is the wrong move. Picking one out of the mix and responding to it is a tough choice.

Somethings always work, I tell the kid I only love her because she is a True Princess and perfect in every way. She has never denyed it.

AS is a mixed bag. No two the same. You may well read people, but have no idea what to say, and you may know what to say and not be able to speak. You may read people, but wrong, not understand what they want, and still say it.

You may also see beyond the mask, Aspie avoids eye contact, or bores holes with their eyes. I have a Count Dracula stare, and some of my answers have caused people to burst into tears. I adressed what I saw. The result was like punching them by suprise.

Some say I am cold and unfeeling, others say I am emotionally charged, I look in the mirror and see nothing. I would say blank, nothing.

The kid asked me if I had feelings, she sees me as me. I told her I did, just like anyone. She asked if I would react if she died. And I had to answer, not on the outside, but you are the closest thing to my heart.

I think people get a lot of what they are projecting back from us, we are a mirror of emotion.

The most honest person I know is the kid, she has no fear of me. She did say, I did not say things like other men, Dads. I asked what? She said I never said her hair looks nice, or her eyes were were wonderful. I never complimented her. I told her there was a reason. She asked, so I told her about her eyes, her hair, her skin, and she stopped me. It was not at all proper for us to speak like that.

I was not hitting on her, but that is the way it felt. A True Princess, perfect in every way, reaches deep within.

I like "Impotent Empathy," they feel, we feel, but there is a gap between.

Only the kid reads me well, she spent eighteen years with me being very important to her.

Her dog likes me.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I relate to this. I am not sure if I'm AS or not (maybe somewhere else on the spectrum??), and one of the main reasons I doubt it is because I am able to read people most of the time. As in, I can tell if they're sad or upset or weirded out or whatever.

However, if someone tells me they are upset over something, and start crying in front of me, I don't FEEL anything for them. I only know that they are feeling bad and so I say what I can to help, such as, "I'm so sorry," or, "It'll get better," (or, better yet, I give them practical advice) but it usually comes from some external place, some memory of something I heard once, something that sounds right even though I don't FEEL it. (Although I do care about the other person!)

Also, like Sora said, look back at your childhood. I've been doing this lately and I realize I used to have a much harder time reading people. (I couldn't tell when I was being insulted, etc.) Even now I have trouble sometimes; for instance, I have trouble reading subtle social cues and what people mean to say through certain actions. (Facial expressions that reveal emotions, however, I can read better.)

Don't rule out an ASD just because you have the ability to read people. There have been threads about this, actually; a lot of people on the WP can read people, but they still have AS. As was already mentioned in this thread, it's a spectrum...