Developmental psychologists speak of various competences occurring in developmental stages; they usually compare an individual with peers and speak of what is age appropriate (often with the qualifier of for their intellectual level). They speak of milestones (common episodes that mark a stage in development). For example, saying, "Mama!" and "Dada!" are an early language-acquisition milestone for English-speaking children. By means of comparing myself with the social accomplishments typical of people of different ages, I have determined my social maturity is roughly that of a thirteen year old—although it is a little more complicated than that.
I am 23 years old but only since I was 18 years old (in college) made any approaches towards women. Since I graduated from college, women in my age range have actually been fewer to spot, so I could even say I have regressed in this regard! I have formulated a plan to meet women: by volunteering. I see it as a way of being in close proximity with potentially multiple women for an extended period of time in a relatively low-guard setting (that is, they aren't defensive about meeting men as they are in venues where people traditionally go to meet potential dates, like bars if TV and movies are any guide; there, only the most physically attractive and charming stand much of a chance). I figure more women increases my odds.
In terms of friendships of the same sex, I probably lost interest in that a few years ago and am nowadays more apt to see other males as potential competition for women.
I have graduated from college and started a career (although the job itself bores me, it permits me the means to support myself independently even though I loathe spending so much of my time in an office); I now have a place of my own. I figure a career and a place of my own will increase my attraction to women (otherwise I'd be crazy to take on so much debt and do something so miserably boring). Unlike my coworkers, I do not aspire to spend an even greater ratio of my time at work doing something boring for just a little more money (that's what a promotion is). I recognize it is in my own best interest to hold on to this job for the time being, so I pay lip service to the ideal of being a loyal, faithful employee; I even parroted back the HR propaganda for a while (but that got old!), and I suppose, for a while, I did seem like pretty much the ideal employee. I have nothing against anyone where I work, but what's good for some isn't good for everyone; and a highly conventional, deeply structured suit-and-tie corporation stifles me and makes me gasp for more autonomy, creativity in my work, and just plain more variety in what I do (frankly, if it weren't for the social skills deficits, I'd be best off self-employed). I'd rather enjoy what I do than see my work solely as a means of supporting the real part of my life (which so far is much lacking!). Now, for all this, I do do my job well, but I recognize the situation as transient since it doesn't fulfill me.
In terms of other social milestones, I don't know what there is. Even as a kid, people addressed me as, "Sir," so I take it that means people usually see me as mature, or at least that's the impression I make. I take it to mean my introversion and depth of knowledge, which they confound with social and emotional maturity.
24 Nov 2007, 7:53 pm
