Communication skills

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This is a very self-absorbed post and for that I apologise.

I'm genuinely frustrated at this. I don't listen to people when I should. What they say just passes me by and I don't respond to them. I'm told it's very irritating and to be honest it's getting me down. Apparently I only think there is one person in this world. I'm at a loss to know how to get better.

Any ideas? This probably isn't the best place to ask.

Do you mean to say you space out easily? I am like this. It's embarrassing when I don't remember what people have told me, and they are hurt that I wasn't paying attention. It's rude and selfish on my part and I need to change.

Maybe they're talking too fast? Is it too much to process? Or are you just too busy thinking about yourself?

If you can force yourself to listen, then do it. That's what I have to do, and I think it will just take practice. However, if there is seriously something wrong with your processing skills, maybe you should see somebody about it...?

Yes. I do. Tell me something and I won't listen. Tell me again a few minutes later in an annoyed tone and I do.

I thought all blokes were like that....congratulations you're a normal bloke!! !

People may sometimes think I'm not listening to them when actually I am, and I may come off as selfish or self-absorved. I just find it easier to listen when I'm not looking at the person. To an NT this might seem like I don't care for what they have to say when it isn't that at all.

Same applies 2 me.

I'm the same way. Trying to maintain eye contact takes conscious thought, leaving little to none left in order to think about and interpret what is being said to me. When I'm not looking at people, they think I'm ignoring them. In middle school, teachers complained to me about this.

Took the words right out of my mouth...



I think my teachers think this of me too. What was really going on was a minor misunderstanding.

Given that I have the social skills of a baboon I'll leave it to others to help you out, just let me know if you find something enlightening

Ed Almos

I only tend to pay attention when someone says something interesting.

It's not that often.

j/k...I start to tune out when people start going on about what they did over the weekend or talk about some stupid tv show or whatever. I just don't care, and it's hard to pretend to care, so I don't often bother. However, if they start going on about the political system or some historical point, or something interesting like that...all the sudden I can pay attention for an hour and be very interested.

You're not self absorbed, you just have higher standards.

That's why books are nice. I can absorb information a lot faster and more easily pick and choose what I want to absorb. This is also why machines are nice. They will most often do exactly what you tell them to do(unless components are malfunctioning or you don't know how to use them). Communication becomes greatly simplified. The interaction can be thought-oriented as opposed to social-oriented.

If someone says something I am interested in, I do immediately notice, and often will try to enter the conversation. If it's about someone's sister's boyfriend's aunt's best friend getting new clothes(you should detect a hint of sarcasm by now), I won't even hear it, even when someone is requesting that I pay attention. I'll even consciously try to pay attention but I still won't absorb it; subconsciously I filter it out; I want to hear about facts/machines/numbers/creations/experiences where something was learned.

Are you saying you can absorve all incoming information? Wow, how do you do it? And at the same time too! *stunned*

Edit: and just for the record, you should also detect a hint of sarcasm, in case you missed it.

Last edited by SilverProteus on 30 Nov 2007, 7:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No, I'm not saying I can absorb all of it. But I can certainly remember nearly everything I make an effort to remember. Conversations rarely fall into this category. Things I've read moreso, but I remember numbers and pictures a lot better than words(for instance, yesterday(or perhaps the day before) my step mother had the TV on, and there was some show about 1970s era technology. Mentioned was the Trans-Am. I remember all the specs, 290 horsepower 455 ci V8 engine, 0-100 mph in 10 seconds, 10 miles per gallon, and even the price it sold for, even though I believe they were only mentioned once. I will probably remember this 20 years from now.).

Hence my dislike for face to face conversations. I don't get as much out of them as from other sources of information, and conversations take longer to harvest information from than other sources due to limitations in the speed at which a person can talk.

My thoughts tend to race ahead of what the other person is saying as well and I lose my place in their conversation. I'm not getting information fast enough, it frustrates me, and then my attention lapses. If I'm tired, this problem is severe; if I'm not I can correct it.

I'm like that when I'm too absorbed in my interests. Say something to me while I'm using the internet and it goes right over my head. Then I'm accused for not listening, and well when it's someone telling me that they're going somewhere, after I'm done with my interest I have no idea where they went.

Is it possible you could be thinking of or be absorbed in other things?

Yes.

I was referring to the OP.