Parent of an aspergers child needs some help x

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Hi, I really dont want to upset anyone by posting on this forum but im desperate for some advice. Basically my son has just been diagnosed with aspergers. Im relieved to have some answers at last as he is now 6. Thing is he has very bad behaviour problems and is hyperactive in social situations, I had convinced myself he had ADHD, but he sleeps well and is very clever - but will not put pen to paper unless he wants to. My husband said hes not convinced he has aspergers which I find upsetting as I really need some answers so that I can understand him and deal with him in a more compassionate way, I feel like such a crap parent as I dont have patience with him - coupled with the fact I have an 18 month old who is into EVERYTHING. I would just like to know that as someone who as Aspergers whether you have traits of adhd also and whether you think the diagnosis was the right one. Sorry to waffle and I appreciate any help. x.

I found it VERY difficult to write down anything I didn't want to in school. It was more than just losing interest or mind wandering, but like the brain just would short out and go onto something more important.

I hated school all the way through to highschool.

Now I'm at university, getting really good grades and enjoying myself a lot. Because school and highschool were NOTHING like my experiences at university. Come to think of it, school wasn't much like anything else that matters either.

Unfortunately the only advice I can give you, is to be understanding. You'll have to defend him doing things in a different way to other kids. You'll have to explain why he doesn't think the same way to people who will think he's just lazy, or ignorant or disobedient.

But if you do all these things, you will have raised a child that is likely to be quite exceptional.

And you can't be that bad a parent, because look at you, you're here, you're asking what you can do to help your child and you're willing to get the best advice you can despite what people might think of you.

Wish I'd had a mum like you.

I was diagnosed as hyperactive as a child back in the 70's so it's possible your son has traits that would mimic ADHD too. I've heard that it sometimes goes hand in hand with AS. It's hard to say whether your son got the right diagnosis or not since you didn't give a lot of detail. I'd hope your doctor would give the correct diagnosis although, as many on this site can attest, a doctor isn't always the most knowledgable on the subject.

As for the school thing, I actually did fairly well in middle and high school, but college was a disaster for me. I couldn't keep my interest in class if the class wasn't something I was interested in. I got A's in all of my major/minor classes, but got C's or failed everything else.

Since your son was diagnosed early enough, it's very possible that he'll do just fine with the right amount of help from his parents, teachers and doctors.

Try not to lose patience with him and do your best to understand where he's coming from. Researching on Wrong Planet is a great start.

One of the things they did for me in Highschool (I had trouble writing about topics that I wasn't interested in) is if I coulden't write about what they wanted me to do the teacher helped me pick something else to write about.

Well, about 30% of AD?D people are autistic, and MOST of them probably have AS or HFA. But the REAL question is if your son has non ADHD symptoms that are AS. BTW I got diagnosed ADHD, but wasn't hyperactive. In fact, I was well behaved. Unfortunately, AS wasn't a choice back then.

ADD and other attention disorders are comorbid with AS.

Most things that irritate AS people or make us seem irritated are sensory related. So, you have to figure out what sensory inputs are causing which behaviours. (I teach a lot of little people on the spectrum and have found observation to be one of my most effective tools.) Does your son get OT or PT? These things are often extremely helpful in dealing with some behaviours that are caused by sensory inputs. Certain movements tend to decrease certain types of behaviours. I don't know if this will be helpful. We found that Dr. Jean Ayres text book on sensory integration disorders was highly effective in helping with and dealing with behaviours in our home.

Hi! I am a Mom with a son who has "high energy" AS. Basically it is ADHD mixed with AS. You'll make it through this. If I can, you can. Just remember you are your childs BEST advocate. Be there when needed and listen and always ask WHY. Joshua's reason's are entirely different than our own. Like when he threatened to blow up his school and burn it down, and tried flooding it. He thought if that happened he wouldn't have to go anymore. There is a really neat ebook I found called The Essential Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Rachel Evans. I put the book on the computer, and now my husband is beginning to undertand it - he reads it when I am working and not around. Check out the kind of help you can get for at home therapy and outside help too. We missed the dead line for free help in our area by two whole days. I just tell Joshua if we were all the same there would be just McDonald's and no need for Burger King or Wendy's. When his teachers told me they wanted him to be "normal" I asked what their definition of normal was. After two years they found the term "to blend in". Do your research! You can't find anything to cure AS, but you can find a way to treat the side effects. Diet is a biggie! You will be surprised how much it helps.
If you need me, I will be here.
Tanya

If anyone had cared enough to notice, I probably could have been diagnosed with ADHD as a child. I zoned out in class, struggled with sitting still for so long when I was so bored, fidgeted constantly, and had a lot of difficulty concentrating on things that didn't interest me. I also struggled with authority figures because I did not understand social hierarchies (still can't get beyond seeing people as mere people, but I understand the structures and why they exist now). If you received a diagnosis of Asperger's from a professional, I would trust it. When in doubt, seek a second opinion.

My son has an AS diagnosis and also ADHD type II, inattentive. Btoh of these diagnosis are what they are and ponted my wife and I in a direction for knowledge of the subject. they also helped with services through school a little. This did not change or help our son he is who he is, not broke or diseased he is our son every day is different as it seems every Aspie is different. He hates and I mean hates writing but he is the one of the most creative people and probably one of the most intelligent people i know. Patience, listening without interupting and reaching out are what work for us. He is your son love him
write if you need to vent yours truly addley, also feeling like a piece of crap parent once in a while.
P.S- we have a seven year old girl who acted just like him for the first four and a half years of her life! she has suffered from his honesty and reaped from his intelligence and compassion.

The connection between ADHD and Asperger's is very unclear, some say they go hand in hand, others say they contradict each other.
Fortunately, your son was diagnosed early on. I wasn't diagnosed properly until less than a year ago, when most of the damage had been done.
There are way to tell if a child has Asperger's though. Common signs include but not limited to (and there are exceptions) a lot of interest, nearly obsession, into subjects that are way ahead of his age. Dislike at being touched. Extremely picky with food, a very strong indicator of Asperger's is if the child dislikes mixing his/her food often to the point that they use different forks and knives for different food. Inability to pick up social cues (such as not realizing people are trying to change the topic of a conversation) and (perhaps consequently) having the habit of going on in an almost professional lecture (as in, one-sided discussion) about a certain topic and early maturity.

My Son is also 6 years old with AS, ADHD and with a NVLD. Talk about hyper and never getting tired? Oh my God....and with a 16 month old baby too. I am right there with you and totally understand. Fortunately, early intervention has proven to be most beneficial. A real lot of people do not get diagnosed until later on. (read these forums and you will see!)

I have found with sensory therapy, his engine comes down and so does the hyper behavior. The hyper behavior is especially difficult in social situations where I might actually remove him from others, go into a quite spot and do some sensory therapy before he goes out into the social situation again. He knows he is not in trouble, I tell him that the sensory tools are good for him and will regain his breath. (he gets so hyper, it's scary)

I wonder if all kids with ADHD would benefit from sensory therapy. With ours on the spectrum, it definitly works.

this my view - this my experience - http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com/ - reach out to the little guy- bring him back