How do you know where you belong?

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I've always felt like I didn't belong with normal people, but I just thought I was weird. That I though too much about everything. I knew that I would obsess over things that normal people don't seem to, not bad things, just things. I could list 20+ things about my life's experience from childhood to know, and reading about Asperger's and other things seem to hit home for me BUT I don't feel like I belong there, either ... because I don't fit some things. I read some of the things here and I really identify, and then others not so much. So now I feel even weirder, because I don't know where I fit in, lol!

Not that I'm horribly bothered by it, but I do think about it. It would be nice to have an explanation for why my childhood is filled with bad memories of school, kids, anxiety, etc. It would just make more sense to have a reason why, and not just because I am odd or strange. I want to understand myself, and come to peace with a lot of my life, because I have often wished I was different. Often. And now that I am seeing some of the same characteristics in my son, I want him to have wonderful memories of his childhood, where we celebrate his uniqueness and he can feel good about being himself.

For those with aspergers, it's really hard to belong solely from a social standpoint. We just don't attach to people the way NTs do and find solace in solitary obsessions.

What somewhat works is joining groups & doing lots of activities. My childhood was filled with boy scouts, sports teams, and other interest groups. It was a good way to turn obsessions into something more social. My childhood wasn't half bad.

Just by observing the people around me, when I'm in a social setting. I also know where I belong, just by how warm of a reception, I get from everybody.

Usually in social settings I am made more aware that I don't belong, so I pull away. I do well with one-on-one interaction with people that have similar interests, and I actually enjoy that kind of interaction.

But I guess the question is more of .... I read here about NTs, and I didn't know what that meant, and now I do. Okay, so am I NT with some tendencies toward AS or other things, or am I not NT, and if so, what? Do I even want to know? Will there be acceptance and resolution if I know WHY I am different, or do I just carry on as I have ...

Sorry for the rambled thoughts ... it's humid as heck here and I want to get out of this hot room, lol.

i belong in my hermit hole.

This is still a big problem for me. I am 32 years old and still don't know where I "belong".

I still feel very much like the "round peg in a square hole". When I seem to get involved in things, I am interested and have some knowledge and a unique perspective of the situation, but I feel like I am not nicely pigeon holed.

This also goes along with the fact, that I have been unable to find something that I can work on and call my own.

Lots of people feel that way who aren't in the spectrum. My advice is to embrace your weirdness. Focus on your strengths and if you feel your weaknesses are holding you back from something you want to do work on them. What a boring world it would be if people weren't weird.

You might want to consider ADHD. It doesn't always present itself with obvious hyperactivity and can be a lot like AS. I wasn't diagnosed with it until I was in my 40s. I was getting the kids treated for it and as the Dr was asking about their symptoms I was surprised to find out that there was a name and treatment for something that I thought was just "normal." Now I take Concerta and am a lot happier as I don't make some of the kinds of mistakes I used to that used to get me in trouble. I'm still weird and proud of it.

I fit some of the ADHD things, but not others. Same with AS, I guess. Maybe I'm a weird normal person. Maybe I'm a normal person with some type of initials after my name.

I guess I will probably never know. Does it matter? I guess a little, to feel like I "belong" to some type of something. To identify with others who have the same feelings, struggles, desires.

I guess I keep on keeping on!

A place where nobody is making fun of me is probably home.

Vanilla_Slice

I have a big problem with belonging. I never feel a part of a group, society, whatever. I know I'm a student, but I don't feel something to people. I can change classes group and don't care. I live in dorm, but I don't recognise many people from my floor and I don't talk with them. So they could change and I wouldn't notice it, if the new ones were very loud and unpleasant.
I was a member of many clubs (choir, arts, science, etc.), but I never felt their member.
Maybe I can say I'm Goth, but I don't feel any common with other Goths (ofc music, clothing, but no feelings).
I go to the concert and I don't feel that other people are my friends or sth.

I can't feel We are a group and I am one of us. It's always They and Me. So if I can't trust, I'm still unnatural, can't have fun and seem boring. Maybe people think She's not honest, it's better to keep a distance. What a vicious circle.

signals from the hippocampus

Nobody fits every part. Even people that seem stereotype.

To find belong I look at whole world. Not just social world. And for years try to find the tiny little spot I fit.