Do your parents still attempt to control you?

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It seems my mother still believes she has a right to tell me what to do. Of course, now she's included my husband as well. PS - I have told my husband he is welcome to tell her to take a hike, just like I do, and it won't bother me one bit.

Anyway, my brother has a one year old...his wife doesn't work...they want to put the poor kid in daycare because "she's just too much"...blah, blah...they would rather their child be at someone else's house or sleeping, than have to play with her...MY MOTHER SAYS NOTHING TO THEM...

My sister controls everyone in her house...my poor nephew is very depressed because of something major he is going through and my sister put him on medication. The poor kid (16) tells her that he is sleepy all the time, that the medication makes him feel worse, etc...and my sister disregards anything her son says...I read up abot the meds and indeed MANY people complain of the same symptoms he does...YET, MY MOTHER SAYS NOTHING TO HER...although I have mentioned that these symptoms do exists, etc...and she should read up more...but I won't tell my sister cause she'll blow up on me...

Now, I homeschool my child, my husband takes as much time off work as possible to be with us...we play with him, we hug every day, we have group hugs, we say I love you 20 times a day...we don't beat him, the most we'll put him in time out for 5-6 minutes for something major...we are goofy and danec with him, if he wants to dance, etc...BUT, we don't go out alot because we can't afford to be going out alot...

SO MY MOTHER decides to now get on our case on how our son is LOCKED up in our house!! ! WTH??? He's not locked up...we are with him 24/7...we have taken him to Disney and Universal Studios last year...we went without and took him and we ALL had a great time together...

Why is it that she feels the need to harrass this HFA/AS person, but not the other two? Do your parents try to control you and not your NT siblings?

No, they're both dead

Yes, Im 19 and it still happens to this day.. but hopefully soon this will be no more! Soon Ill be moving out permanently at last

My mother loosened up alot when I turned 18. Since I sing in the choir at the church my mom works at (and I'm one of the few people thereof who can sight-read music well), I do have some aspect to threaten if she decides to clamp down on me.

sure, i'm still living with them that's why.

but i think your mother does that because she maybe thinks your child should spend more time with other children...doing all the things that are considered normal socializing

quess you have to explain her very calmly but yet friendly why you do what you do. don't even mention your sister and how she treats you two differently.
don't get angry or even irritated or if you do, don't show it. that would only make her belive that she is right and you really don't know exactly what your doing, behaving like a teenager. these are mothers. my grandmother is just like that.

also, don't forget that she comes from a very different time when the ideas about what a good parent should be were very different. try to understand her even if you don't agree with anything she says.

My parents do that to me! That's the reason that I've moved out. I just couldn't take it, anymore. I love my parents, but I don't like what they've done to me. They've never harassed my younger sister, like they've harassed me. It got to the point that I've actually told my mum, "Everybody's treating me, like I'm Rain Man, and it makes me very angry!" Her response was, "I hate to see you so unhappy." That's when I became adamant that I was moving out, and I've prayed that I would be living on my own, by the summer of 2007, so that I could finally leave 1987 behind me. It worked! Now, I'm going to motivate myself to keep my apartment clean and tidy, by thinking about how happy I am, that I'm living on my own, and not being harassed, anymore.

No. I would simply laugh at such attempts. I left home at 16. Best thing I ever did. I'm turning 30 this year, so that isn't teen angst speaking.

I feel at times as if my parents do. Although I suppose it's more of a forced dependence - they know my weaknesses, and rather than let me learn to deal with them, they're forever cleaning up after me. Actually, this is one thing I have to thank my last girlfriend for - she was forever berating me for depending on my parents, so I gave up in order to prove a point I can safely say I'm a lot more stressed since then, but at the same time I feel far more in control. Still quite a way to go, though.

Um...a bit.

My mother and I have reached a better understanding in the last couple months. She has been "controlling" in the past couple years (I'm 23), but I've also been overtly resistant towards her helping me with anything, and she really could've made some things easier for me. So hopefully we'll be able to get along better.

Nope. My dad's dead and my mom gave up trying to control me years ago. That might change if I had kids though.

Look into the four major personality types, which are (and have many different names, but here are the ones I use): Persuader, Authoritarian, Analytical, and Peacekeeper. These come from two measures: whether a person is focussed on other people before themselves (affiliative) and whether they naturally dominate others or not. Here's the breakdown:

Affiliative, Dominant = Persuader
Non-affiliative, Dominant = Authoritarian
Affiliative, Passive = Peacekeeper
Non-affiliative, Passive = Analytical

There is a good chance your mother is like mine -- Authoritarian. You are probably like me, an analytical. Your sister is probably Persuader or Authoritarian, like your mother. Your mother respects dominance. She considers it courage. Those who do not dominate are cowards. Therefore, they do not respect them.

I'm in the same exact situation -- my brother, a Persuader, can do anything, say anything, no matter how amazingly over the top, and my Mother, an Authoritarian, will not say anything. If I stand up for myself in any way, no matter how small, she pounces with nuclear force. It's natural -- she's not thinking, she's feeling and being primitive and is a slave to her brain. All I can do is ignore it -- and I think it is probably the only thing you can do too. Take control of your kid because that kid is yours and just ignore the outbursts. She'll go... nuclear. She'll RESPECT YOU more, however.

I would find out what your brother

Yes, in a passive aggressive sort of way.

My mom's been less controlling recently, because I no longer live with her. She does act like she's an expert in AS/Autism (even though she insists that the correct name for AS is "Iceberg's Syndrome" and has had arguments with physicians over this) and tells me about children that throw fits in stores and how she thinks that the only children that do that are people with "Iceberg's Syndrome" (she proclaims it's "Iceberg's Syndrome" because it's "only the tip of the iceberg of the Autism disease". Yes, she calls it a disease and proclaims I suffer from it.) when it's very, very common for young children to throw fits in stores when they don't get their way. She's caring, just uneducated about AS (she never listened to my psychiatrist once).

My mum still controls me keep sayin don't do dis don't do dat so wot am i gonna do.