stupid mood disorder

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My bipolar depression has gotten worse again. I went to the ER again last night, and now I have to attend an Intensive Outpatient Program. It's 3 days a week of group therapy. This interfere's with my schedule at school. I went to my schoool to request afternoon classes, and they said they don't offer them this quarter. So they give me a leave of abscence. My GPA won't be affected, but my graduation is pushed back which Im not happy about.


I just can't deal with all this s**t I have to put up with, implications of having an ASD, lack of support, and memories of abuse have me so overwhelmed rightt now.


I f*****g hate this why do i have to have an ASD? Why do I have this nasty illness bipolar disorder.? Why does my life have to be hell on earth


I keep having transitive suicidal thoughts casue I just want to escape this life. I just don't know what do do anymore.


oh well atleast Im getting help now.

Even though it messes up school, I'm really glad you went to the ER. That's great that you are taking care of yourself like that.

Sometimes just handing on is enough. Hand on long enough and things WILL turn for the better.

BeeBee

hang on in there, jman.

plenty of people here are rooting for you, hon.

update, I just told my dad my situation about school and he was completely he just critisized me for quiting school this quarter, even though their is nothing I can do about it. I can';t stand this s**t, i can't get a break anywhere. Why does he always have to be such an as*hole. I probably wouldn't be like this if it I wasn;'t for him and his constant verbal and emotional abuse growing up. f*****g bastard i hope my mom divorces him, but no she lives in a fantasy world, even though all her kids have problems cause of him.

Just hang in there man. I have had some serious bouts with depression and suicidal thoughts.
When everything is going wrong it seems like it will never end.
But gradually things improve. It happens so slowly that you don't realize it, but as long as you keep trying, you will feel better some day.

Hang in there jman. High school is a problem that eventually goes away and then you will have more flexibility to manage your life.

ummm Im not in High school Im in college, im 22 years old man.

I dropped out of college when I was about 21. I just needed to be on my own, and get away from my parents' constant criticism. I was going through some pretty bad depression around that time and just beginning to realize how different I was from everyone I knew. Everything worked out OK. But if you can just get through it and get a diploma, you will have so many more options. And once you are on your own, all of this will seem like ancient history.
I do hope you feel better soon.

Sounds like you need to leave timbuktu, and leave now.

You obviously are getting no support at home.

jman, wish I knew what to say to assist. I've had some very deep depressions at times and the worst of it to me at least is the feelings of powerlessness but I certainly didn't have things as bad with my parents as you have with yours.

Is the group therapy actually helping? Sometimes it can, but other times, one or two people dominate the group and can get too overbearing. As long as the group is run properly and everybody is given a fair chance, I think it could help.