Do you agree with this statement?

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I had lunch with a co-worker, and talking about different things she mentioned that when a daughter is regularly raped by her father, she has to keep quiet about it because she has to sacrifice for the sake of the family unity.

A father allowing to hurt his daughter and has to keep quiet about it? What kind of sick f**k would think that?

No, I do NOT agree.
Family unity is important, yes, but it shouldn't come at the violation of a member in the family.
Soon enough, the daughter's current family will pass away.
The less she suffers rape, the more potential she has for unity with her future family.

I think that if a father wants to rape his daughter, he should refrain from such an action and keep those thoughts to himself. This is a sacrifice he must make for the sake of family unity (among plenty of other things!).

If someone has been raped by a family member, that family's unity has already been destroyed--by the rapist. Keeping quiet isn't going to help. Rape causes problems that the family will have to deal with whether they know about the rape or not.

The topic may seem unrelated to Asperger's, but it's actually very related to it for me. Because it was my big boss's assistant who said this and I, having discovered the pecking order and social politics finally at age 40+, knew better than contradict her. I just smiled (and cringed inside).

OMG someone voted yes. What a sick f**kwit. I wonder who that was. Maybe some dumb ass.

It must've been an Aspie. Aspies don't have empathy, afterall.

(just being totally sarcastic here)

That's really sick.

While I'm not usually for environments with a lot of social pressure, it's sort of nice to see such a strong response about this here. . .

some things, I think, are just that important. .

WHAT. THE. HELL???

Of COURSE that's BS! I'm a little concerned anyone would have to defer to other people on this one to know it's WRONG.

Just out of curiosity, though, was your friend from another country with perhaps very different cultural norms? If not, she must be a time-traveler from the 12th century.

WHAT!
Oh man!
There is no way in H*LL I would let that happen in my family. F family unity!
I wouldn't keep quiet if someone told me that. Because if I were the daughter, I'd want it to stop. Screw the friendship. Sheesh!

Yeah, and even an aspie know child molestation is wrong.

I was s abused (at least once that I recall) by a family member when I was quite young. I kept it to myself. Probably a dumb thing, in retrospect. I would have liked to have learned how many times it happened or if someone had abused him as well.

Kinda late now.

I wonder though if this is why I'm like how I am.

I think the daughter might be afraid that the destruction of the family unit will be far worse than getting raped. Obviously, the person forcing the daughter to keep quiet about something like that should locked up in prison for life (and we all know how rapists get treated in prisons), but from the daughter's perspective, it's a dilemma. She's choosing the lesser of two evils: getting raped over destroying the family unit. She's deluded into thinking that the way she's treated is normal in families, so she sacrifices her psychological well-being to keep the family whole.

The topic regarding destruction of the family unit really hit a nerve for me. When I was in my early teens, my parents would argue constantly, not even caring that I was in the room listening. Oftentimes, they'd make threats such as: "if you [referring me and the other parent] don't start treating me better, I will abandon both of you, and you'll never see me again!! !" I was too scared to talk to the counselor at school, because my parents made me promise not to tell anyone about these arguments. Because I thought all families argued like this, I somehow "knew" that I had to sacrifice to keep the family whole. In retrospect, I should have called the police, then sat back and watch my hardships vanish in a chaos of flashing lights and police sirens.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 12 Dec 2007, 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Who knows, maybe it was a mistake or a misunderstanding. But the FATHER already destroyed any unity that might have been there.

Frankly, he shouldn't even THINK about it but, if he did, that is as far as it should ever go. He should go to his grave having never even implied it.

Heck, someone talked to the guy that played joey on full house about how pretty(read sexually attractive, etc...) the olsen twins were, and HE didn't want to hear it, merely because he was almost like a father or real relative to them, having seen them even in diapers.

That statement is disturbing.

Maybe it's my aspieness, but I find it so nauseating that the pecking order makes it the appropriate thing to do to shut up to such a horrendous uttering.