Are You a :::CONTROL::: Freak?

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Are you obsessed with controlling your environment, other people, yourself? Are you restrictive, demanding and accusing just so your life can be *just so*? Have people told you to *ease up* on them? Are you argumentative to a fault?

I am extremely controlling of both myself and my environment. I have however learned through the years that trying to control other people is a recipe for disaster. I can do it, but I wind up with no respect for them and things just go downhill from there.

Yes, I'm an extreme control freak.

I am also a control freak. This is what living in the world has made me - in needing to control the air I breathe, the food I eat and the kind of water I drink. The type of medical care I will accept, the kind of behavior I will tolerate and the amount of infiltration of my boundaries I will allow. Being too transparent has made me this way. Too kind has made me too restricting. Being too naive has made me want to kick ass to keep people in check, lest they enter Forbidden Territory. Of course this makes intimacy impossible. But that's the price - and I'm willing to pay it to stay alive.

Actually I used to think this too. Turns out that with the right person there is no price to pay. Turns out there are people out there who dont need any control at all over thier environment, and are therefore happy to let people like us go at it. I live with my boyfriend and my daughter and I have a million unwritten rules about the way things have to be done. I have running inventories of everything in the apartment so they ask before they take or use anything so that my accounts balance. To be honest, both of them are so easy going that they probably dont even see how controlling I really am. They know I'm not trying to control them, just my environment.

Definately and it shows in lots of little ways.

Such as when on holiday I must have the hotel keys. Also feel very uncomfortable if I don't have the money.

Hate even letting the kids have my mobile phone to play with let alone give it to them to use.

I control everything, not so much out in public, I have learned since childhood ended that controling people does not work (and I controled my friends like you could not beleive, totally had to be incharge and be right all the time). Now I control everything where I live, I am way more relaxed around people, but i absoltutly cannot live with anybody, I must live alone, I tryed the roommate thing and could not do it, so I moved out and got my own place where I control everything, its perfect now and I feel finally I have found a way to control everything and still not come off as a control freak towards people cause I control everything in my life except the people in it, and it works just fine now.

I just wish I coulda told myself not to always have to be the boss as a kid... well... a part of growing up aspie I suppose.

Completely. My environment is my safe zone, and I carry it everywhere.

That's me in a nutshell. I have a very disorganized husband that is more than willing to let me carry on with my obsessiveness.

I also have a mental inventory as to everything that's in my house. Something that I don't share with many; everything that I do has a well thought out logical reason for it. Everything. It takes me more time to think about things then it takes me to actually perform said action.

Now, I'm off to make lists of my lists...

Last edited by serenity on 17 Dec 2007, 10:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

My wife's son told me that I like to control my environment. Beyond that, I try very hard to allow others complete freedom to do whatever they want.

I'd say no but my kids would say yes.

I think I am just so with them becuase I can be.

You lucked out - and this is wonderful. I am happy to hear that a peaceful existance with others is possible. Personally, I haven't actually encountered a person like that for me who can also meet the other 9,999 requirements I've got for them....

Asperger Syndrome does have an element of OCD.

My control freaking varies between mild and moderate.

My last boyfriend said I was because I was very demanding.

My current one tells me I am very demanding but doesn't think I am one.

I don't like it when he leaves his dishes out, doesn't wipe the counter tops or the stove and he tells me he does things that are perfectly than needed but I point all the none perfect stuff out to him like the mess in the kitchen, leaving his coat and shoes out, his clothes.

I don't see myself as a control freak, but I certainly get antsy when others - either accidentally or deliberately - try to take control of a situation away from me. Especially if it's control over something I need control over. My finances are a good example of this.

I'm very much a niche person. When I have that niche - whoa be tide anyone who interferes with it. I can cope with it most of the time because I can just throw them out (figureatively speaking). For example - my Wiki is a niche. And if someone rocks the boat, I can punish them by throwing them out (banning them).

Special interests are a niche as well - and I take the same attitude except that I can't throw people out, especially when I need them for whatever the reason. That's harder to avoid when they try to throw me out for whatever the reason.

I have a history of people interfering with what I do with my life, including two cases of criminal behaviour (both of which I was lucky enough to deal with successfully in court - in 2003 and 2006). Civil action is harder to do and I don't like going that far unless there is no alternative. But I'll do it if I'm pushed!

I'm very much of the belief that us Aspies have a right to do and say what we feel is right. Especially if doing so represents as close to closure as we're going to get on an issue.

If that makes us control freaks then OK - but I don't agree that it's "freakish".

I'm usually fairly easy going, but if I'm pissed off or stressed out I'm often very much a control freak, especially when it comes to controlling my "personal zone" of activity. So, for example, say a co-worker offered to do one of my usual jobs while I run some errand, if I'm in a bad mood or am stressed out when I get back I'll get ticked off if that job isn't done the way I'm used to doing it.