"Easy Man! I'm just busting your balls!"

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TrueDave
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17 Dec 2007, 1:28 am

I dont even know why I'm asking this question. I know the answer.

How do you males out there like/handle it when the male friendly insult thing happens?

I have a good idea what you all will say so why not tell me a apecfic story or something. Theory, adaptive tecqniques . . . .



ButchCoolidge
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17 Dec 2007, 1:57 am

The best way to go about responding to these jabs is to judge how you feel. Basically, if I feel hurt by a friendly insult, I usually collect myself and at some point either gently explain that I did not like the comment or flat out say "don't talk to me like that again" depending on the nature, severity, etc. If it doesn't hurt my feelings, then I will go along with it as the person intended or perhaps stand my ground a little bit just to make sure it doesn't get out of hand. If I find the friendly jabs extremely funny, I encourage them by jabbing back or simply by laughing until they become less funny).



sinsboldly
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17 Dec 2007, 1:58 am

TrueDave wrote:
I dont even know why I'm asking this question. I know the answer.

How do you males out there like/handle it when the male friendly insult thing happens?

I have a good idea what you all will say so why not tell me a apecfic story or something. Theory, adaptive tecqniques . . . .


Geeze, I am a woman and no man has ever been THAT genial with me 'just busting their balls!" They have always reacted quite violently.

Merle



Izaak
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17 Dec 2007, 3:20 am

Heh... I give em "the corporate eyebrow" or whatever the rock's move is called now.

It works perfectly. Tells em your slightly pissed off and if you can practice in the mirror to put in a bit of facial expression like "I wouldn't be talking if I were you... buddy" then it goes off without a hitch and they tend to shut up.

Of course, if they don't... you use your words and tell them to shut up. But the eyebrow thing tends to work.



gbollard
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17 Dec 2007, 5:39 am

I pick better friends.

I don't see why you need to put up with that sort of crap.



Spaceplayer
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17 Dec 2007, 7:22 am

I grew used to it, but I've never come to fully accept it, unless it's from a person I really know well, and even then, they know which boundaries not to cross.



Kurt
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17 Dec 2007, 9:17 am

If you're quick witted, a good ball breaking comeback is a solid response. If not, either silently ignore it or assume a clueless expression and pretend you don't understand what they've said.



woodsman25
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17 Dec 2007, 10:09 am

I will admit half the time I did not understand what they said (auditory processing issues) and the other half of the time its cool cause its always someone I chill with, eather a friend or co-worker, usually at work, so I can take it, especally cause I wait for the right moment and then I dish out my own abuse. :P


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littlebopeep
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17 Dec 2007, 10:17 am

I have never understood this custom among (some) men. :scratch: And I have never kept regular company with men who do this. Guys who do that "breaking balls" things are usually pretty boring to be around.



Bopkasen
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17 Dec 2007, 11:16 am

TrueDave wrote:
I dont even know why I'm asking this question. I know the answer.

How do you males out there like/handle it when the male friendly insult thing happens?

I have a good idea what you all will say so why not tell me a apecfic story or something. Theory, adaptive tecqniques . . . .


A guy throwing a football in someone's nut.... yea that one way to bust it. J/K :lol:

I think when the person say that, he actually meant that he was teasing/joking with you. He cracking you up kind of like a nut cracker. In this case it is a %(# buster.



TrueDave
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18 Dec 2007, 5:11 pm

Again Im going to fall back on the inconsistent lessons we were taught as kids compared to adults.
"Treat others the way you want to be treated."

Before I was diagnosed AS I thought there was a new "life gudiebook 2.0" That I missed after I graduated High School. You know the one that goes contrary to everything we were taught as kindergardners on up.

Ask any teacher about trying to keep a keep a kid in line but then in walks thier rude as Hell oblivious parent and you see where the problem lies.

What do NTs get out of the chops busting thing? Do you AS measure your worth by how many people let you be a jerk to them?



Last edited by TrueDave on 18 Dec 2007, 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Chauo
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18 Dec 2007, 5:45 pm

littlebopeep wrote:
I have never understood this custom among (some) men. :scratch: And I have never kept regular company with men who do this. Guys who do that "breaking balls" things are usually pretty boring to be around.


I agree. Those kinds of men look like idiots to me.



someguy
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20 Dec 2007, 12:48 am

I've got some good friends that do this all the time and they have a blast with it. I just can't work fast enough to keep up and have trouble knowing what's a fun jab vs a real insult, so I can't really get in on it. It's awkward and even after years they don't really seem to understand that I'm not just trying to be rude or ruin their fun I just can't figure it out. I'm lucky though in that they're a good enough group of guys that it doesn't wind up being a big deal. It still bothers me on occasions but not enough to cause problems most of the time.

Knowing these guys like I do, I can't imagine anything less appropriate then saying that I don't appreciate their behavior. I just don't see a good outcome from that discussion. I pretty much just stopped trying to respond and if they're decent guys they won't take shots at a defenseless target . In my case anyway we eventually came to an unspoken understanding where they occasionally throw some toned down smack my way but in general lay off.



eelektrik
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20 Dec 2007, 2:13 am

I have no problem amongst my group of friends as we do that to each other all the time and I'm used to it with them, but if someone I don't know is attempting it, I really don't know if they're joking or just being a dick and it annoys me. But I'm also the paranoid type anyways and assume the worst out of people I don't know, and even hate hearing other people laugh when I don't know what they're laughing at, it makes me wonder if I'm doing something stupid and don't realize it and worry that I am the source of their laughter.



TrueDave
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20 Dec 2007, 9:34 am

Well part of the problem is when I do it back especially to strangers they think I'm deadly serious. Which is why some friends advised looking into acting.

The problem with my friends is I have been accused of being able to dish it out but can't take it sometimes. I disagree sometimes I enjoy nothing more than a laugh at my own expense. However there are some things that I feel are off limits to making fun of. Especially if someone is present that I dont know well.

Also if its in front of a woman.It then seems like theyre just trying to make themselves look cooler.



richardbenson
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21 Dec 2007, 9:05 pm

i hate when people say stupid crap like that. i want to slap people when they do it