What a disaster this evening was.

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My son, who's 19, has been the backstage manager for an amateur dramatic group's pantomime. He was finding it hard work on his own, so his father has been helping out. Tonight I went along to lend a hand - he was so looking forward to showing me what he'd been doing...

What a useless mess I was. I kept getting in the way, not knowing intuitively where to stand; given a simple instruction like, "Just move everything off the stage", I managed to miss whole lumps of scenery because they were set back and not obvious (to me); and when people tried to be nice to me and talk to me, half the time I ignored them because I didn't hear them over the general background noise, so they gave up, thinking I was being rude.

I spent the second act watching the rest of it from a spare seat in the audience. My son and husband only put up token resistance when I said that was what I was going to do. They put up even less when a kind cast member asked me to go to the after-show party with them and I said I had to get home and look after the dogs. And I can't say I blame them.

Most of the time I don't mind being an Aspie. I even enjoy being happy with my own company, and I don't usually get upset when things don't work out - I should be used to it by now. But I did hope that tonight would be a success - it would have been nice to find something we could share. My son looked so disappointed.

Sorry, Lewis.

I'm sure they were pleased that you made it there at all.

A stage is a very busy place everyone there has a job and all those jobs must be on cue.
It is a place that scares me silly.
The audience never notice but there is a disaster backstage every show every night

iceb is right! The backstage routine for any show is intricate and highly organzied to begin with--very difficult to get thrown into if you haven`t been in rehearsal--and if you`re not familiar with theatre then even more so!
Good for you for volunteering. Many community theatres rely on volunteers, and it`s a great way to meet people and lots of fun. Don`t let your stressful night dissuade you from the joys of theatre!

Don't take it too hard. Your intentions were clearly good, and that's what matters most. I guess it's no consolation since I'm an aspie too, but I know I would've felt out of place there, too, and I think many NT's would as well. As someone pointed out, theater production, stage management, etc. is intense, fast-paced, and complex work.

It is hard when you feel like you have embarrassed yourself, but just remind yourself how unimportant it is in the long run. Not a single person except yourself, in all likelihood, is going to remember anything about it, and if they do, it's not like they will care. Perhaps your son will, but since he's your son, I'm sure he knows you well enough to know your intentions were good.

Anyway, your son is lucky he has a mom who wants to share things with him and support him. A lot of people don't have that.

I don't know.

You have a home, you have a family, you're married and have leisure time. What is there to complain about? I just read that 8 million men, women and children died last year from cancer. I think we lack the basic humility in just giving thanks where thanks are due - and because we lack that *gene* we succumb to petty bs when it comes a knockin on our door. Not that your experience isn't misery worthy - it's just - OMG.

People are dying in Darfur. Animals are being eurhanized. Kids are being tasered and raped.

JFC.

Hope you recover soon.

My son, who's 19, has been the backstage manager for an amateur dramatic group's pantomime. He was finding it hard work on his own, so his father has been helping out. Tonight I went along to lend a hand - he was so looking forward to showing me what he'd been doing...

What a useless mess I was. I kept getting in the way, not knowing intuitively where to stand; given a simple instruction like, "Just move everything off the stage", I managed to miss whole lumps of scenery because they were set back and not obvious (to me); and when people tried to be nice to me and talk to me, half the time I ignored them because I didn't hear them over the general background noise, so they gave up, thinking I was being rude.

I spent the second act watching the rest of it from a spare seat in the audience. My son and husband only put up token resistance when I said that was what I was going to do. They put up even less when a kind cast member asked me to go to the after-show party with them and I said I had to get home and look after the dogs. And I can't say I blame them.

Most of the time I don't mind being an Aspie. I even enjoy being happy with my own company, and I don't usually get upset when things don't work out - I should be used to it by now. But I did hope that tonight would be a success - it would have been nice to find something we could share. My son looked so disappointed.

Sorry, Lewis.

Thanks, everyone...

Butchcoolidge, you were quite right, as it turned out! My husband and son were both pleased I went, and are currently persuading me to join the theatre group - and I think that if I'm involved in a production from the word go, rather than being dropped into one that's almost complete from a great height (so to speak), I can learn as I go along along wityh the rest of the company.

I felt awful that evening, and the comments that were posted did make me rethink. Thanks!

And jjstar - I never claimed that my experience was anywhere near as tragic or important as cancer, or animal euthanasia. I know it came nowhere in the great scheme of things. But this being a forum about Asperger's syndrome and related subjects, and as I was feeling pretty bad when I got home that evening as a result of being an Aspie, I thought I'd post on here and see if anybody had anything to contribute. As it happens, they did, and I found a lot of it helpful.

Maybe I didn't write my post very well. If it sounded self-centred and conceited, well, I'm sorry. But I don't think it was petty BS.

A lot of people post on this forum about their personal experiences. Some of them are terrible, some of them - like mine - are less so. Should we only discuss the earth-shattering stuff?