Do families of people with austism choose friends like that

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it's strange... My sister just had her bat mitzvah and I noticed how many kids with AS were there (even though it is me, not her, who has it.) One was the brother of my sister's friend from camp. She knew her friend well before she knew her (the friend)'s brother had AS. Another one was the son of my mom's friend from college. Neither me nor the son was born when they became friends. Finally, and this kid we don't know if he has AS, but we think so; a family who our family is friends with; their son. We met the entire family at the temple at once. So, here is what I am leading up to; we all know autism is genetic (at least somewhat genetic, maybe not 100%) so, perhaps families of people with autism (even if said people aren't born yet) are more likely to be friends with eachother than they otherwise would be. What do you think?

1. Aspies seem to attract other aspies - there are always "nerd groups" at schools.

2. Mothers become friends with the parents of their children's friends.

3. Mothers of problematic children hate boastful parents so are less likely to associate with them.

4. It's not PC but some parents of NT children discourage their kids from associating with Aspies/Auties.

I have 3 sons - 2 diagnosed with Asperger's.

When they were toddlers, a group of us 4 Mum's and chidlren met 1/week - alternating between our houses.

In that group, 3 of the 4 families have had children diagnosed with Asperger's.

Looking back, the reason we got along was that our children didn't like regular playgroup (too many children, too noisy).

Also my huband is an engineer and we socialise with a lot of other engineers - apparently 40% of engineers have Asperger's.

Helen

Yes, however, in 2 of the 3 cases (and sort of in the 3rd) my family member knew the family member of the kid with AS before either of us knew the kid with AS, or even that they had AS. In the case of my mother and her friend, neither me nor the other boy were even born yet. So, while your statements may be perfectly correct, it probably doesn't explain this.

Is that true? It seems a bit high. I had heard that Aspies were disproportionately represented among engineers and computer scientists, but 40% of engineers being Aspie when only at most 0.3% or 0.4% of the general population is?

To be honest, I don't know. This statistic was told to me by a friend, who heard it from her friend .... I can't guarantee the accuracy of this figure.

I'll have to ask the boys' psychologist next time I see her.

ddrapayo ... re the playgroup I went to, none of us had ever heard of Asperger's when we were socialising all those years ago ... our children have been diagnosed in the last couple of years.

Helen

There are 3 main reasons people become engineers:

1. They have an aptitude and WANT to.
2. Their family has engineers, or close.
3. MONEY/PERCEPTION!

I imagine most of group #1 are aspies. Some of #2 may be aspies. Probably almost none of #3 are.

Look at programming. Yesterday I was chastised by some #$%^&* because I supposedly was too harsh with them. I don't think I was harsh until they revealed a MASSIVE amount of stupidity and lack of desire to learn. They wanted me to explain why things are like they are! That is like asking someone to explain why the car doesn't run after you disconnected the battery! I even showed them why, etc...

I was FAR more angry than I ever let on. My "manager" wanted me to wait a WEEK for that %^&* to program this piece of junk, and THEN they have me argue for an hour. I had better things to do, and I probably could have done ALL this stuff last week. HECK, I am only a small portion of the group on this project, and I am already doing most of the stuff.

Anyway, they are clearly all in group #3! NO interest, and they are doing this only for the money/perception.

To add insult to injury, the guy that chastised ME for being too harsh because he and this other guy didn't know things REQUIRED by their jobs, general, and true for any customer, yelled at another for asking a question that only applied to this one customer!! !! That is like a math teacher yelling at me for flunking a guy in highschool math because he couldn't multiply, and that teacher then getting a person expelled because he couldn't find the answer to a calculus program. I mean COME ON!

It just goes to show that titles aren't everything.

2unkenkerl wrote:

Oh yes... That's why I wouldn't advertise a job for a MCSE, CLP, CNE/CNA etc I'd find someone who was actually interested and did computing in their spare time. After all, people are always better at things they enjoy.

Yes, I think that Aspies attract Aspies. I also just think socially, that is where they fall. Smart people that are socially isolated, especially in younger years where social groups are more defined.

Best,

Idaho Aspie
www.AllThingsAspergers.com

Maybe, but I wouldn't say "most" of group #1 are Aspies. I know at least half a dozen NTs at my high school who want to go into engineering or some science-related field for reason #1, and I only know one other Aspie in my year, and he's not going into engineering.

I never said most Aspies went into engineering. I was programming for YEARS before I heard of "software engineering" and, though I DO treat it like engineering, calling it "software engineering" sounds pretentious ESPECIALLY in light of all the jerks that try to "get the job done". By that, I mean like the people I spoke of earlier. Their method is not only STUPID and COMPLICATED but, because of that, it is *****SLOW*****! That means that the customer is going to have troubles later. An engineer would try to come out with an elegant idea that doesn't just work, but works WELL.