ur dad ever told u "I could never live the way you do

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my dad really pissed me off a lot in my life when i was kid i did a 2 year ban on talkin to him cuz he abused me and only said things to him through my mom

awhile ago he we got into it and he told me "I could never live the way you do" and "I don't understand how you are happy with the way you live"

just wonderin if anyone's dad ever said to them?

he didn't say it in a mean way and was very straight foward with me I asked him what he thinks is wrong with me then?

he said "I read about something it might be aspergers" so yeah naturally i look it up thats how i found out about this place an at first I thought i was something else because im not anything likean autistic person i graduated through college an did everythin my parents wanted of me even when i didnt want it for myself an was great in childhood but in adulthood ive failed socially and at social jobs and i really never have been allstar at social stuff

Parents can sometimes say things that they think are logical or not important or just off the top of thier head that as children we will interalize and interpert it as a part of who we are. I know as a parent there was a couple things I said I wish I could have taken back. As a child my mom used to say "what's wrong with you anyway". The child me would say "nothing" but thought there must be something wrong with me if my mother thought so. As an adult I have heard her say this in other situations and realize it is probably just a phrase she picked up. My Dad told me one time "I'm glad your not pretty because a boy will like you for you and not your body". So all my life I have felt ugly.
When someone or a parent says something to you that feels like a punch in your stomach remember that feeling is only half their responsiblity - the other half is your interpertation and reaction.
Letting go of hurt, understanding, and acceptance of both your reactions are the way to put your Dad's comment into adult perspective.

My Dad has never been as supportive as my Mother has in regards to anything in my life, but some of that may have to do with being raised by my Mom by herself, as my parents were divorced by the time I was 5. But my Dad has never been really supportive of my primary hobby of gaming, as in recent years he usually complained about it being 'Not Productive', as if enjoyment and entertainment was not a worthy goal in itself, then again he used to actually play games with me when I visited when I was younger(Up until during a LAN game of Command and Conquer, during which we were allied against AI opponents, I declared war on him at the end of the match and hit his base with an Ion Cannon, Air Strike, and a Nuke).

Also lately he seems to think I'm gay because of my lack of dating, and constantly makes annoying comments when out at dinner, staring at waitresses and seems to be confused that I never flirt with any of them like he does, even right in front of my stepmother.

I've heard it from my Doctor, my mother, and a few other people through the years. My response is that its a damn good thing they arent living like me then.

I havnt exchanged more than a few words with my father in over 3 years. In my previous experience he is unsupportive and judgmental, so I dont imagine he would have much nice to say about the chioces I have made.

The good news is I'm the only one to has to be content with my life, and I am.

Given that you placed your needs last, and gave them all that, it kind of makes what he said seem a little cruel.

Even though you might be successful someday, are you really going to recieve the reaction you desire from them? It's your life, and yet so much of it is being used on a parent who wants it his way.

Anyway, my parents didn't say anything of the sort to me. But then, I'm not financialy independant right now.

I'm pretty sure, that if I was ritch and famous, I might hear what I didn't want to hear from my frugal father. He would either make another sublte complaint, but only that time it would be about the size of my home, or the nice quality of my furniture. On the other hand, he might mention how he wishes he had new things, yet again!

I'm so tired of his obsession with money. Tired of being blamed to. I thought about it, and I realised it wouldn't matter a dam if I did what he wanted of me. Even though I'm grown and miles away, I have to emotionaly deal with the sutble blames he gave me everyday, despite the fact that I only grew up hearing it. "..don't waist.."

>>>>awhile ago he we got into it and he told me "I could never live the way you do" and "I don't >>>understand how you are happy with the way you live"

My parents said that in reference to the huge mess in my apartment. My mom is also obsessed with aspergers. She thinks I have it. I was diagnosed with PDD. I never cared very much about it though until my husband started getting treated poorly at work because he doesn't think like everyone else.

To be honest, I'm not really that happy with the way we live. I would like to afford a house, but the fact of the matter is that probably is not happening anytime soon. My husband wants to spend the money on grad school, and I don't like doing what people tell me to do so that rules out most jobs for me.

Honestly, if your dad is like this guy - ogling waitresses in front of his wife, chronicly complaining, nothing but sports are important, etc, etc... Take it as a compliment you're NOT living like him!

My Father has said to me..."I could never live the way you live,".

He said this because he dislikes the city and that is where I live...it has nothing to do with Aspergers at all.

My dad does not say very much to me, we do not connect at all on a personal level. it feels like we are acquainted, not father and son. He tries to fire small talk in my direction, but that is not for me. So no.

I think parents are often very confused by their kid's behavior if it's different than theirs.

Indeed, my Dad is a lecherous old man and I hope I don't end up like him. But hes not really into sports at all, hes just all about everything being productive in some way which is why he hates games anymore. He knows more about computers than I do, he just thinks there is better uses for them then entertainment. And the only things he ever watches on TV are various documentaries, news shows, and home improvement shows, hes just obsessed with learning as much as he can when it comes to fixing things(Home or computer related).