Anyone become more reclusive because of aspergers overtime?

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Like staying at home more etc....not going out to parties on weekends

stop going to friends houses as much

just curious if there is some kind of connection with being reclusive behavior and having aspergers because I used to get out alot more when I was a kid then I do now for instance.

I think its cause of all the trouble fitting into real life cliques its gotten to the point where I don't even want to bother with the whole process of being the oddball in a group of a friends who is kinda just there and not realy one of the most involved in the group, it helps having similiar interests but there still feels like there is this connection that they have more with each other then I have with them if you know what i mean?

^^ Everything you said.

When I was younger (teen, young adult) I did go to parties and such, because I tried to fit in. I was miserable, and even drank and such to try to be more 'in'.

Now I'd rather stay home and watch a DVD.

Keep in mind when I was your age, I had no clue as to what my problem was, so I forced myself to do 'normal' things.

I didn't have a clique in high school. For a while I hung out with the truants and stoners, then I found myself and started being my own person. I was in to 'new wave' music and 'metal'. And that was odd in high school, so I was strange.

So yes, I know what you mean.

That's how most of us are.

Aspergers doesn't make me want to be withdrawn,
however, lot's of times it does make me question if it's worth all the effort,
I don't NEED to be sociable like most people, sometimes I just WANT to.

But I'm not the most typical asperger.
I'm pretty outgoing. I just suck at it though

I was just about to start a new thread saying the same thing.

I've definitely become more anti-social now that I've gotten older. I just don't want to deal with socializing if I don't have to.

The crazy part is that I don't miss the socializing at all. I have my wife and she provides all the company I need. Maybe some day we'll have kids and that will definitely be more than enough !

I'm just not a social person. I'm not gonna move into a log cabin in the middle of the siberian wilderness, but I'm not gonna go to my High School Reunions either....lol

Same here.

Overtime kind of sound like you getting paid for working over the clock or kind of like football.

Would be fun to get paid as an Aspergerian!

That could have been my post. Scary.

Socializing was easy as a kid for me, being one who was into sports and video games, were actitivies that didn't require a lot of talking, because your concentrating on the activity at hand.
As i get older and understand people and myself better my social anxiety worsens and i enjoy being alone listening to music while studying up on surveying.
I will take the odd break to watch a comedy.
Ive lost a lot of interest in the sports i played as a kid. My interests seem to become more narrow as i get older. Which seems to be the complete opposite of most, have narrow interests from an early age.


I still like to socialize from time to time but i always here the same old adage "just talk to people"

Last edited by dalhousie12 on 20 Dec 2007, 12:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I do go to friends houses, but I also pick my friends very carefully...

I also find socialization easier than some aspies, especially when I know the person well... my main problem is dealing with complete strangers outside the context of a class or some other academic activity...

I don't go out to parties, but that's only because I don't want to get drunk or anything like that...

In High School, I did end up socializing with some people, but didn't have a "clique" per se (just a small group of video gamers)... but then again the high school I went to didn't have cliques at all... everybody knew everybody...

I am absolutely more withdrawn now than I used to be, and used to be definitely had to do with me trying to fit in. I find socializing very difficult, and don't see why I should try.
Why should I make myself uncomfortable to please others, when they will do just fine without me?

I tend to think that it's probably true for NTs too, just a natural part of aging.

I used to go out more but maybe I was driven to find out more about other people and myself. Now I won't socialize unless it's paired up with some kind of agenda like a project or brainstorming about something.

Usually I only hang around other autism spectrum people. I feel mervous beting around NT people and then afterwards worrying about my behavior, wondering if I was too weird or not. It's hard to judge.

Words to live by.

I think refusing to do something just because you have AS is using it as an excuse. But if you don't enjoy parties, why go? It's like going to a sports game and you don't even enjoy them.
If you want to go to a party because your partner wants to go, go.
I do things when I want to do them, not because of the AS.
It's the same for NTs so we should have the same rights too as them.


Reason why I don't hang out much with people is because they don't have things in common with me and plus I feel bored when I'm with them. When I'm alone, I'm in control. But when I go to this gathering here in Portland once a month, I just hang out there with them and I do my own thing. If I have some thing to talk about, I will talk about it.

Ohh ya, I am 25 in just in the past 2 years have changed alot, I used to go out to bars and parties, but find I would rather be chillin at home. I do go out, in fact this weekend I may attend a small gathering for a UFC event, i usually get invited and planned around that basicly this weekend, but you wont see me in a bar or huge party anymore, I am done with all that now, and look forward to doing other things in life now that those days are over.

Also, we are adults, not in school anymore, no more interaction as far as that environment goes, work is another story but you usually dont make the kind of friends and hang out in the kind of groups that were more prevelant in school life, we are adults, and typically have to support ourselfs, familys and whatever else. On the weekends many people I know go out and party, I recently would rather chill on WP, remain sober (i used to drink alot at bars and partys to loosen up, numb my brain and fit in, NEVER AGAIN!! !) or go for a hike, but its always good to get out every now and then and remain in some social circles, remember, once those social connections are gone, its unlikly you will ever have others again in life, so I always try to remain close to a few collage and high school friends, even tho things change in life, its always good to try and get out their every now and then.

"Anyone become more reclusive because of aspergers over[ ]time?"

Actually, I feel this has come out rather backward, in my case.

I've never been anything but typical (if undiagnosed) aspie.

When, a few years back now, I finished up in a position where I had little social contact, I was quite happy to be there, but let the isolation grow.

Only once I had let myself become a complete recluse, did the down-side of Aspergers become a problem. I.e. I seem to NEED at least a small amount of social contact.

Now I'm much more fully self-aware, and I'm in the process of rebuilding a new form of social interaction. It won't be a return to my old persona. I have no clear idea what it will be. I'll keep you all posted.