Helping someone escape AS; AS vs NT conversation differences

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Can you describe what the differences are in what AS and NT brains are doing in a conversation?


My perception is

(a) logic of topic;

both AS and NT use some analysis and systemising; e.g. "shall we meet up next week?" - both analyse diaries etc

(b) emotion of topic;

AS just analyses and systemises, NT does a mix of this plus emotional intuition etc; e.g. "shall we 'Cloverfield' next month?"; AS thinks about topic, plus and minuses, etc, NT does this but also feels "Yes, I really want to see it, I'm not sure why!" (may have been influenced by the advertising)

(c) picking up how the other person is feeling;

AS systemises, NT empathises - to me this is the REAL big difference area. AS is watching the face, analysing where has seen a furrowed brow like that before, referring to mental database for what it might mean. NT just FEELS other is not feeling good.

(d) working out why the other person may be feeling whatever they are feeling;

AS analyses, e.g. what is happening in other's life, have we been talking about something upsetting etc. NT also analyses, but will also do some intuitive stuff, trying to FEEL what the other person may be upset by.

(e) ongoing emotional input into the conversation;

AS is uncertain, working hard, and thus has little ability to uncover and bring emotional energy to the conversation. NT feels, and takes risks by leeting these feelings and empathise drive the conversation - e.g. see my Bogo example in the 'Exercises to Turn off Systemising' page.

I think the key issue is that AS people use systemising in interpretation of other people - this (a) does not work well, and (b) creates huge mental load.


This relates to trying to help Kate - see the comments conversation on http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com/ ... g-and.html

thanks

Kind offer, but no thanks... I don't want to become an hateful, lying, cheating, Bad Monkey, overly obsessed with having the right clothes, car, and cellfone.

Yeah, I think it's better to learn communication rather than trying to change your brain.

That said, learning to "speak NT" is something just about every Aspie has to work on. It's just a matter of survival. If you can communicate, though, you've learned enough.

WOW,

I was going to tell JCJC777 that I came here only for a good laugh. He provided that, but a response of

"Kind offer, but no thanks... I don't want to become an hateful, lying, cheating, Bad Monkey, overly obsessed with having the right clothes, car, and cellfone"

Adds even more comedy!