How do you feel when someone says you are not stupid?

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On the surface it sounds like a compliment, doesn't it? The individuals who made that remark were, after all, praising your intelligence when they reassured you that "you are not stupid." Sometimes they'll say it to someone else and they'll say it loud enough so you can hear it too: "he is not stupid." The problem I have with that "compliment" (which I get quite often) is that it sounds an awful lot like "I previously thought he was stupid, but oops, I was wrong," which is very insulting.

Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and suppose they meant exactly what they said and there is no implied meaning here. In that case, what need is there to point out the obvious?

My way of thinking has been denied by people - mostly NTs - who think/want me to think "you are not stupid" is a compliment I should be grateful for.

betrayed!!

Something more akin to disbelief, I think.

Given the circumstances, I can't help but feel very suspicious and I doubt it's meant as a compliment. It even has a sarcastic ring to it.

You sort of question these things when they come from people who like to bully you.

It feels better than being called "ret*d"....(as I have been called multiple times)

I work with disabled kids and in my classroom someone saying the word "ret*d" is grounds for after school detention. I put it in the same group as I do curse words.

Among certain sects of adults it is totally acceptable ...

good question for a first to respond to

best word?: disappointed

that i am over average intelligent has always been so obvious that no one would ever have made the remark

the only ones, but then more or less all of 'm, are those who should have noticed: the few (professionals) i have approached in my search for why i am/was depressed, who always as an almost first told me i'm not stupid, i suppose meant well in trying to set me at ease, reassure me - in remarking i should not think i'm stupid, as depression is also a sign of intelligence (so they say)

yes, obviously, but i did not need them to stil any worry over my intelligence, and it always creates distance between me and the analist, because that's precisely not the point - it always makes me feel ONCE MORE misunderstood BECAUSE THEY CANNOT GET OVER THEIR PREJUDICES and simply see me hear me in stead of the typical case they are trained for

They simply cannot see me sitting opposite them for the frame of reading glasses they're wearing

THEY need to clean up their language before they can even begin to understand me; and i speak their language so much better than they do, so who's the stupid one

THEY should have known better; they might also then have realized that language & intelligence might well be central parts of the problem: they shouldn't have tried to reassure me - it made me feel at least more intelligent than them, and that was not the help i was seeking

It CAN'T be a compliment! It is either sarcastic, or a reassurance of non stupidity. Neither is a compliment.

With ME, it has happened only in two types of cases.

It means that the speaker thinks he or she is smart and knows the answer or has made things clear, and I know that I know better or the statement has multiple meanings.

In either case, it basically means that I know the answer or can easily figure it out, because I would otherwise be dumb.

I still hate it when people use it. The teenagers I work with have varying degrees of disabilities. I don't think any person has the right to call another one ret*d. We all learn at different speeds and different levels. Many people that have aspergers or autism are near genius level. I've worked with several autistic children and would not call a single one of them ret*d.

Sounds like sarcasm to me. I'd usually insult the person right back.

Depends on how it's used.

If it's "You're not stupid, so you should know (insert thing I don't know)..." then annoyed.

Other times not necessarily bad.

It sounds like they are defending you to me. I've never had anyone say "He's not stupid." defensively to someone for no reason and then come up to me and say "You're not stupid." reassuringly, unless someone had called me stupid.

So I don't really get where you're coming from. Maybe you're not paying attention and someone had called you stupid, and you only notice this person trying to stick up for you? If anyone came up to me out of nowhere and said, "You're not stupid.", I'd smirk and say "ok." and forget about it.

you could just say "and neither are you" in reply.... If it was an insult--you'll know.

Well, whenever I hear that phrase, the context always implies that the person saying it wonders why I AM acting so stupid/incompetent/a failure at life. I hate it.

"What!? How DARE you second-guess me?!", is what I feel when someone tells me that I'm not stupid.