Neither Aspie Nor NT, but somewhere in between

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Having taken various online tests and from self evaluation I have concluded that I seem to be in a grey area in between real Aspie-ness and NT - normal enough that people dont realise there is a problem straight away, but different enough to not fit in properly. Obviously the autism spectrum being just that, a spectrum, there are bound to be many of us out there, maybe unable to get an AS diagnosis (well I havent really tried yet), but knowing there is something different about us which leads to social rejection, depression and general low quality of life. I am wondering whether depression is more common in this group because we try so hard to fit in, we really want to go to parties and enjoy social situations when they work, but still have problems with small talk, body language, eye contact and other subconscious signals which means that NTs prefer to shun us.

So this thread is for all the borderliners out there - all the people who fit some of the Aspie traits but not others, who are thinking about getting a diagnosis, but are not sure that it will succeed, who would like to 'belong' somewhere but are worried about not really fitting completely into the Aspie world either.

There are many threads about this exact subject in this forum... you are definitely not alone on WP in that respect!

i fit into aspie traits and not others(defintly have as) but thats because like all aspies i am Me!! !! !! !! ! Thats right i am an individial with my own strenghts and weaknesses and whatever. dont let the labels get to you.
Also if possible please stop saying 'nt' it suggests everyone else is this so called normal which dosnt even exist!! !!. sorry but it really bugs me.
xx

Last edited by angelgirl1224 on 04 Jan 2008, 5:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Another fellow borderliner here!

Tim

I'm borderline too but I was diagnosed anyway. It was for my parents to get power over my school anyway to stop them from putting me in a class with violent kids.

I understand you want to know if you have asperger or not. I think it's best to say you have a few asperger traits and a few NT traits. just remember you are YOU. asperger or not. did you try the WP asperger test btw? im 100/200 aspie 100/200 NT.

I did that test wilco and got 80/200 aspie and 105 'Nt'. which seemed lower than everyone else
But i have come to the conclusion that it could just be because i have adapted well to society or whatever.

And pleeeease why do people keep saying Nt. am i the only one to be annoyed by this?

NT means neurotypical, which is commonly used to define anyone outside of the autistic spectrum.

Tim

I think the vast majority of people who think they are borderline are either just dorky NTs or aspies in denial. A lot of people on here claim to be borderline, yet by reading their posts I can tell they are anything but. I'm not trying to start crap or anything, but I would definitely reevaluate the whole borderline stance, because I think it is a dangerous trap to get into. You either have special considerations and needs, or you don't, in my opinion.

lol, I thought I had the lowest score. and yes I think I have adapted as well. if I did the test 4 years ago my score would have been higher. But I also think that the questions were a bit too direct. (it still is the best test ever)

As for NT. I like it because I hate saying normal people, who decides what's normal? when there will be more aspies then non aspies will aspies be normal and non aspies be different?

Other then that NT is easy to say and write. only two letters and everyone knows what you mean

Tim, I know that is what it means but it still annoys me. It suggests everyone outside the autistic spectrum is normal, when they arent!! theres no such thing as Normal.
xx

Yes Wilco. There is no such thing as normal. But the term Nt is even worse in my opion

well the way I see it Neurotypical means normal in how the body is made. so according to the body's "blueprint" everything is made as it should be. because autism is NOT how the body wanted it all to be. but that doesnt mean it isnt normal. if we aren't normal then nothing is (at least if you believe in the evolution theory)

Reason why I say I am borderline is because I can talk to people and carry on a conversation, I am fairly flexible, I don't have rigid routines that often, I like good surprises, I am spontaneous, I'm not a black and white thinker even though I am in some situations, I don't need lists to know what I'm going to do that day or need lists in school what is going to happen that day, I make lists in my head when I have things to do, I rarely have to write down my patterns and routines when I have to make a new one. I don't have any stereotypical aspie interests or stereotypical aspie things I'm good at. And of course I played with other kids while growing up and did pretend play but most of the times I had troubles with them because I am was so bossy and wanted everything my way so I was rarely welcome into my friend's houses and they always did things I didn't want to do. I even enjoyed making new friends too. I hated being alone when I was in elementary school. Then when their interests started to change because they were outgrowing their toys and the things we liked doing like jump rope, playing on the play ground equipment, and plus they were in a rush to grow up so they refuse to even play with toys but few played with them privately. I went for the younger kids and it was so much easier being with them than with my age group. None of chat chit chat crap and doing nothing.
When people see me, they might not even know I'm even on the spectrum and about my voice, they think I'm from the east or from another country like Australia.

My mother told me people would never guess I have a disability because I am so normal. But my last boyfriend made it all sound like I was very bad and not normal at all and everyone can tell I am different but I have asked a few people and they say I seem normal to them.

To me, NT means "neuroaverage" as in how socialization and conditioning usually occur, while normal implies "healthy" or better.

My husband seems borderline Aspie, not in how he feels but how he copes. He has more sensory integration problems (than I do) and experienced developmental delays (leading to a lot of problems in school and early childhood). However, he has superior coping skills and socializes a lot better than I do. It's fake, he's acting when he socializes (eye contact, "listening", projecting his voice) and it took a lot work to get to this level of coping. But he's able to do it successfully and people like him, he makes a lot of money. It doesn't change how he thinks when he is alone, that he doesn't socialize off work or how difficult it is to decompress from work.
If he takes an online quiz he scores higher than me as an Aspie.

I have improved, especially in the last two years, and I am now much less rigid, and I hardly have sensory issues at all.

I have managed to hold down three jobs, the last one lasting over 4 years. I have been in two relationships, having had my first girlfriend at 17.

Tim