How can this be? Please give your opinions.

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I'm going to quote from my ADI result which is apparently negative but I don't buy it. Does anyone else diagnosed or undiagnosed relate to my situation here and understand how the interviewer/doctor came to this conclusion when I've personally read of many disruptive AS people myself in books and interviews etc. Don't we have a bit of a disruptive/angry streak going on or is it just me?

"She was described at a number of different times as a 'chatty' child, who didn't always concentrate well at school. She described herself and indeed is described in the school reports as initially being a fairly quiet child but gaining confidence later in her school career and in fact becoming even a little disruptive in class occasionally, traits which wouldn't fit with an autistic spectrum disorder."

During my primary years until I was ten/eleven I was too timid and scared of school to even answer a question in class. If I didn't understand anything I would never ever ask I'd wait till home time and ask my mum.
I didn't 'gain the confidence' until I was about 13 during secondary school and was sick to death of being compared to my sister. The 'little disruptive in class occasionally' comment was actually a bit worse than that as I spent the majority of my school years after that either in the corridor, detention, sitting outside the Head's office and was eventually expelled at 15. Either someone wasn't listening or I've been living a parallel life!

Was anyone else disruptive and yet still managed to get diagnosed?

I fill so much more of the criteria than the few non-ASD traits they picked up on.

Tiffinity.

Well, with ADHD being commonly comorbid with AS, I'd think many kids would be disruptive. my daughter was just disgnosed - while she isn't 'disruptive', per se, she does tend to ask way too many questions and then rambles off topic frequently. But she's polite about it. I was the same - asked lots and lots of questions in much more details than teachers could handle. Since I was in Catholic school I was considered 'disruptive' for it. I also got a B in religion because I asked too many questions - the nun said asking so many question just proved my faith wasn't strong enough. O_o

I think part of the reason I slipped through the cracks as a kid was that I was not disruptive.

I actually had a teacher say that I would get on better if I asked questions but it never seemed to occur to them to wonder why I didn't.

I was very "reserved" as a child and did not act out in class, and I've always found it a bit strange that many children diagnosed with AS seem to act out, and it makes me wonder if these same children would have been diagnosed as having ADHD a decade ago and that clinicians just aren't following AS diagnostic criteria strictly.

However, I was said to be disruptive to the class because I would frequently come in late. I didn't see how this was disruptive but apparently it was something that hinged on the other children's minds, much to my complete obliviousness.

General though, I had very little interaction with anyone or anything in class.

Well, I think those reserved probably slipped through the cracks more often. Being loud or disruptive brings attention. Everyone's usually quite happy to ignore someone who just sits at their desk quietly. It's the squeaky wheel that gets the attention. Being the reserved quiet person in class I always struggled to get help from a teacher because a gang of the same 4 or so soon-to-be-dropout-boys would yell "TEACHER TEACHER HELP I NEED HELP!! NOW!!" until they got what they wanted.

Hah, on the coming in late, I got accused by a teacher of being rude for not apologizing for being late and disrupting the teaching. Which I found kind of odd, I mean if I make a point to interrupt him while he's teaching to say "I'm sorry I'm late" followed by some excuse/explanation... am I not disrupting the class MORE than if I'd just quietly gone to my seat? It's not like I could undo being late, so the least I could do in my view was minimize how much I disrupted the class. Then a few years later in college with a different teacher someone else came in late and that teacher told them to just go to their seat quietly rather than say they were late so they weren't as disruptive.

Thanks everyone for your replies.
I don't think my confusion is ever going to sort itself out. I keep trying to find answers but I'm feeling very ill at the moment due to the stress of waiting for a diagnosis, feeling led on that 'this was it' after years of searching and I've generally lost hope in ever finding the truth which is so important to me. I'm very low at the moment and can't seem to get past the anxiety and depression. I'm in like a 'rolling panic, like a loop'. Not a nice feeling.

My search will continue because someone must see what I see in me.

Tiffinity.

I am sorry if this is not helpful but I have to wonder just WHY you (others too) even need to have the opinion of anyone else? Diagnosing an adult for AS is so subjective that if you know it already, I would think that is as good as someone saying it to you.

For me, I don't fully trust my capacity for self-evaluation. I needed another data point for the graph, so to speak.

I can see your point but I notice that you have been diagnosed and I feel that unless I have that same concrete evidence, if you like, I tend to feel as though I'm a fraud and have no right to be joining in with my opinions as people may think, 'What does she know? She's not even diagnosed by a professional'. It does bother me what people think as I've been through a very hard time getting anyone, apart from my mum, to believe how bad I feel. I've spent 35 years trying to make the medical profession understand that there is something else there, that has always been there, and it's not Agoraphobia which they've insisted I have and treated me for to no avail, because I don't have it. I have had the same feelings, traits and differences since babyhood but due to my age (55) it's almost impossible to prove. I feel angry, cheated and very much lacking in confidence in myself which I'm sure is why I feel the need to have the justification and backing of the medical profession now that I finally know myself what is wrong with me, AS.

Tiffinity.

I'm not diagnosed but I did get a fair amount of detention in HS. It was entirely related to being late for class and/or missing a few without an excuse.

The only explosive bit I had was telling my chemistry teacher to go f himself. But he was riding me for not speaking. That certainly woke him up. In HS I was essentially mute unless you pushed me and then I could be very rude.

i was constantly being yelled-at and paddled and locked in a room alone because i was disruptive, in elementary school and middle school. this was back in the stoned age.

Just an FYI... I did not go out and seek diagnosis. I was in grief therapy and was outed right away. I NEVER felt like a DX was important and never asked for a formal one. You could not be more wrong about how I feel about people on this board. I never even look at their DX status. I judge you not by a DX but by the quality of the posts. My guess is that most others are the same. You are putting the pressure on yourself for the DX IMHO and it just doesn't warrant all the drama that you are going through. You will be seen in a few weeks time and in the meanwhile just consider yourself an Aspie.

I think this, here, really (I'm undiagnosed, but have no doubts at this point). I agree completely.

I understand that it's somewhat slippery because it's pervasive and feels normal, but it's possible to gather data and compare one's self to it, as many people do. An official diagnosis won't make it real, it'll just make what's already real labeled. I find the label will be important to me for bureaucratic reasons, but if I wasn't in that position, I don't know if it would be that important.

I also understand the drama, I mean I've gone through it, whipsawing between whether I believed it was true or not, and the stress of not knowing, but it just becomes more obvious every time I talk to another human being or go out in public, and every time I describe something here and other people say "Yes, I know what you mean." And every time someone else says something that clicks for me. All of that's made it easier to see and harder to question.

OK, I think we're talking slightly at cross purposes here.

All I'm trying to say is that I've gone through hell trying to get an answer to my problems and when I finally found it I was referred for diagnosis and not listened to and dismissed, hence the reason I feel so strongly to be proved to be right. I don't judge people either, I never have had unless it's to judge them as superior to myself, but the reason I check people's status is because I'm very interested when we agree or have the same feelings to see if they have been diagnosed as it confirms my beliefs about myself when I see that they have been. If I see that someone hasn't been diagnosed I equally feel relieved because they're in the same position as me. No way is any of what I say a type of judgement and FYI ...I don't only have to wait weeks for a diagnosis I now have to go through the added stress of asking for a second opinion ( which isn't a legal right in England ) and continuing to try and prove to these non-listening doctors and psychiatrists that they have mis-diagnosed me for over 35 YEARS! That's not what I'd call a 'drama' it's a fact of life and I'm sorry for your grief (I know I've had my share of that) but in a way you were lucky to just 'come upon' your diagnosis and not have to search and fight for it like some people.

One more point. I never questioned or commented on the way you feel about people on this board. My whole point was about how I feel towards myself.

Tiffinity.

Oh... I don't know. I was sort of happier before the grief therapy and all. Having a label is sort of a big trip. That said, you're right that I did get "lucky" in the therapist that I had. Of course I have seen 2 others since that time and all three of them agree on the DX so I am sort of easy to ID apparently. I do not have any other sort of comorbid things going on and am very "male" symptom like.

I did not mean to accuse you of anything. I know you were not specifically talking about me or personally talking about me but I wanted to let you know that I never look or care about a person's DX status. The reason I do not care is just for the reason you are experiencing. From everything I gather it is sooooo hard for an adult to find any competent Drs and actually get a DX. I am pretty sure that most people can go to 10 different Drs and get 10 different labels. I hear this around my town too even though my own experience is that I just have to be in the same room with a PsyD for 1 session and that == DX for Autism/Apergers. Seriously, I wish I knew how it is that I am so obvious. I would sell it to everyone seeking a DX.

Anyway.. It's all cool I want to say that I welcome you and your opinions even though you feel like you don't belong until you get a DX. If you feel like you belong then you do.

[quote="kfisherx"], I wish I knew how it is that I am so obvious. I would sell it to everyone seeking a DX. quote]

Well, if you do ever put it on the market, I'll be the first to buy it

I do feel quite at home and welcome here and enjoy the chats with likeminded people. It makes it so much easier to be able to say something and instead of getting a blank look and 'huh, what do you mean?' my problems and traits are understood and not thought to be odd.

Anyway, glad it's all good now. You're very interesting to talk to.

Tiffinity.