Is it Unusual for an Aspie to be Charismatic?

Post Reply New Topic

I ask this because I have difficulty with informal social situations YET I have an amazing ability to convince others to buy products and have been told that I have great charisma when presenting a project. I have sold many items before and it was not work for me. Why is it so easy for me to be charismatic when it comes to money, public speaking, or grades yet when it comes to informal social situations, I cower in my shell? I am very good at getting others to work with me and convincing people to give me what I desire yet when it comes to informal acquaintance relationships, I tend to isolate myself and am very socially ackward whereas if I am selling a product or idea, it is simple for me and I do it with confidence.

I occasionally have that kind of success.

Welcome to WP!

Tim

When you do the product, do you tell them the truth or just use what most sale people do & lie, that will tell you why... & if I am off the ball sorry

I don't know, purple sky.
For instance, other people off the net comment to me that I am charismatic; what they are commenting on is my fear response to environment.

When you're selling a product, perhaps you are able to memorize rules that work. Social situations have so many ever-changing variables, it would be impossible to memorize everything you might be expected to do. Also, when you're interacting with a customer, you only need to do so for a short period of time. Relationships require ongoing contact and fewer breaks.

I can get anything, out of anyone. although normally I'm a douche bag, when I want to be, I can charm like Joseph smith or adolf hitler.

I can relate to you.

I am a teacher of the Alexander Technique and also a spiritual Director. I give talks in front of hundreds of people about my particular interest which is contemplative spirituality. I come across very inspirational (so I have been told) and deeply engaged.

Yet outside of my area of talking and giving workshops I have great difficulties. Mostly in playful situations with my little boy (play fighting etc) and social situations. For even though I can 'pull it off' it's clear I am not a 'natural' by a long shot.

Nah I think it's quite possible.
For example, I'm apparently really charismatic when talking to people my parents age. Go figure. Makes no sense to me.

I'm not so great socially. However, when giving talks on my interests (AS and children with disabilities) I am able to come across as very engaging and likeable. Although, I'm sure I'm not that fantastic in real life.

I love to speak on subjects I know. My mother in law thinks I should become a lawyer and help people with disabilities. She says I have that kind of charisma.

Absolutely! I am great superficially. People find me entertaining, intelligent, interesting and quite charismatic. The entertaining part is my unique perspective on things which many people take as humor. (One man's humor is another man's AS). As a professional, I have important information I must impart to others. I have learned through training to make eye-contact. I know what is expected of me, I have extensive knowledge (thanks to a hyper-focus on a topic I find fascinating) and in this limited setting I am very comfortable. Socially-people aways seem to seek me out. The sticky wicket is their pursuit. I withdraw from friendship as it represents obligation to me. And unfortunately I get bored by most NTs inflexibility (very quickly). Could this just be a defense mechanism because I feel so inadequate at the social "game"? I am not sure-may be a good topic for a thread. I guess as long as I can pop in, deliver pertinent info, & pop out- I am okay. But I am very unpredictable. I may feel one way one minute and completely different the next. I am lucky my husband loves this about me. He claims it is exciting b/c he never knows what to expect or what I'll come up with next.

mmyeah. I think I might be charismatic from the way people react to me. overreact you might say.

There is a theory of 'normal/notnormal' which says that people will try to place you in an 'up there', 'down there' or 'out there' category when you can't be place 'in here with us'.

At work I am very comfortable. I learnt humour and can make almost anyone laugh. I'm really good at taking what someone said and using my knowledge of the english language to give a sarcastic and witty comeback, sometimes so good there is no comeback. But I now love doing this and really love it when I get someone so good there is no comeback. However sometimes I can take it too far, though Ive gotten good at learning the limit.

So I guess you must love the sell, you know a lot about the product and enjoy trying to sell it. Thus you must sound energetic and enthusiastic selling a product. You must also be good at picking up when someone is losing interest and grabbing it again.

So do you enjoy the sell?

Yes, it is possible. People have told me I have charisma in some situations, which is news to me but I think it's something that people can have whether they're autistic or not. I have met autistic people with major charisma but still difficulty in social situations.

I know an autistic person who was a superb salesperson because she could memorize all the products in the store and tell anyone exactly what type of thing they'd need to suit whatever they'd ask for.

Also, as several other people have pointed out, speechmaking is something that some autistic people can be great at, it's not the same as a normal situation socially.

I have learned to be charismatic from drama classes as a kid, and do quite a lot of public speaking and radio/tv work. I've also been good at sales in the past with my no bull approach, which most people really appreciate as no-one likes being 'sold to'.

But I can get really anxious doing 'everyday' things like shopping, being stuck in traffic or going to public leisure centres. Normal stuff scares me. Scary stuff feels normal to me.