Are you embarrassed about your condition?

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I know I am. I refuse to tell anyone I have AS or I'm on the autism spectrum. My mother thinks I should tell people at work I have a disability but I refuse to because it's embarrassing and it would look like I'm using it as an excuse. So many people out their abuse the labels so it makes it hard for the innocent ones. When they do inform people of their condition so they be understood better, they get "using it as an excuse" crap instead. My mother says no one would ever guess I have a disability because I'm so close to normal. They can't tell by my honesty or straightforwardness or me being literal, being black and white, etc.


Also I'm afraid of, they look it up to see what it is and assume I'm a math genius or can invent stuff, know lot about electronics and gadgets and into light bulbs, can fix computers, all that stereotypical aspie crap and think I was a little genius when I was little but then I tell them I am not into that stuff or I can't do that stuff and I was slow growing up and then they think "Oh you can't have AS then" and bam I'm misunderstood all over again.

That's why I hate stereotypes. Instead of seeing it as a personality or everyone with it is different and they all have different interest, they think it's the condition that makes them have those interests. Heck I've seen NTs good with math, can fix computers, fix cars, do engineering, working with computers, etc. so I never bought all that electronic and math stuff is an aspie thing because I thought anyone can be into that, it's a personality thing. And I can't believe I allowed my last boyfriend to brainwash me into thinking it's an aspie thing and anyone into it is on the spectrum too because that's what he said about my family when I inform him my brother is good with math and he is an NT and telling him my Dad works with computers and is good with math and he is NT.
Now I realize now my Dad isn't an NT since he had ADHD and people with it aren't considered NTs.


Do I like Benny & Joon and Spokane because of AS or autism? No, it's who I am, it's my interest.

Does my mother like gardening and is fascinated by homes being decorated or remodeled because she is NT? No, it's her interest, it's who she is.

Also I'm also afraid they look it up and get the wrong impression about aspies and doubt my diagnoses because I am talking to them having conversations, flexible in my job, and it said online they are inflexible, have troubles with socializing and because I am talking to them, they might assume I don't have that problem at all. And they wouldn't realize everyone with it is different or it depends how bad their condition is or how mild.

yes it is my curse and I can't tell anyone there is something wrong with me
I have enough trouble fitting in
AS is horrible and I will always hate it
nothing good comes with it
its never something I will be proud of

im not embarassed but i dont tell anyone about it because they wont understand or they think im making an excuse for my shortcomings

No not really.

I've told people about my depressive problems because they truly are an issue. I've never told people about AS except once or twice when it came up in the convo or my mother told them and then I always tell them that the shrink was a buffoon.

I am not embarrassed by having AS...But at the same time, I don't go around telling everyone I have AS. My mother has told a few people on occassion and that doesn't bother me.

Embarrased... uhh... NO!! !!

not embarrassed by it so much as what i do because of it...

to be so mean and yet vulnerable to point of abuse... to feel so justified but inevitably relatively wrong... and ill never learn fast enough to ever be happy in the moment, im afraid.

perhaps it would have been a better gift had i been born in the wild to never know any different.

I get embarrassed sometimes.

Not because it's inherently a bad thing, just because that's what I've been taught. (This article goes into it more than I could right now.)

Especially the way I often get right after speeches. I often am totally ignoring how stressed out I am during the speech or Q&A, and then I suddenly start doing something like meowing uncontrollably at the time of my lungs or squealing or jumping up and down or running back and forth afterwards. (Once, when my speech was put at the end of a long conference, beforehand, in part because my jaw kept trying to dislocate, I had a bad migraine, and I was trying to keep from doing anything destructive. At that point, someone ended up reading my speech for me beforehand while I was lying on the floor trying not to do anything awful. I hate those situations the most, I guess, because I can't really get out of them, because everyone is looking at me generally, and because I'm afraid someone will come along and penalize me for my inability to do something right then when I could do it the moment before or whatever.)

I'm not embarrassed. I was born as an aspie, and I will die as an aspie.

Fiercely proud of it.

I know there's a lot of stereotypes out there but then how do you think a people who can't hide their features/differences cope. What I mean is that if you were an Aboriginal Australian, you'd be assigned to that stereotype, if you were wheelchair bound, they'd put you there. Stereotypes are (unfortunately) a part of our society.

I'm happy to be aspie and I don't fit all the stereotypes (I do fit some). I see part of my purpose is in teaching those who only know aspie stereotypes that there are differences.

Spokane_Girl,

If you are going to be "afflicted" with something, it is nice it doesn't have a 100% bad reputation.

you said

HEY, that describes ME! Don't call it "crap".
But you seem like a nice woman, and you probably ARE smart in your own way. And HEY, I am not that great in math, wish my memory was better, am not as curious as I used to be, etc....

As for my being embarassed? I have NO idea how people would treat me. They might accentuate the negative and attenuate the positive. I mean they ALREADY seem to sense my weaknesses, likes, dislikes(When such knowledge won't help ME) etc.... Still, I can't be embarassed. So I am different. HEY, I ALWAYS knew that, and most others do also.

I am also a bit upset that I wasn't encouraged to do FAR more before I was 8.

Extremely embarrassed of my social blunders. I hate myself for them. I berate myself and don't cut myself any slack such as "Well, I only said something offensive once this evening".

I'm not embarrassed to tell people about it. In fact, my username for Gaia Online is "Otaku with Aspergers"!

I don't broadcast it, but I don't hide it either. Perhaps I might have felt differently at a time when I was not established in my profession.

No, but my mother is. Even when I tell someone that has a right to know, she always says to me that I shouldn't have told them. She doesn't think I should tell anyone ever.