What my mother said

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I read a preview of a book on Amazon written by Temple Grandin and another person. The book was about relationships I think for aspies and for people on the autism spectrum.
In the book she mentioned back in the 1950's people were straightforward. When she get stuck on a topic or get obsessed about an item, she talk about it all the time and kids would tell her "knock it off."

Now today people won't say anything.
I told my mother about how society has changed. I told her how people were straightforward in the 50's and she said people still are today. She also said now lot of people are so afraid of hurting someone's feelings, they aren't honest with each other and that's why there are fights in relationships because two people aren't honest about their feelings. She also said that's why they fail. If they would be so honest about their feelings instead of worrying about "I don't want to hurt her feelings" they would know what they are doing bugs them so they would stop.


This made me wonder if my mother has trouble picking up on nonverbal cues too because if what she said. She assumed this is the reason why lot of relationships fail, I suppose that is why there are so many divorces. I wonder if she even knows there are these non verbal cues and social cues. She acts like they don't exist because of what she told me when I was growing up. "People can't read your mind" "If someone hurts your feelings, you have to tell them or how are they going to know" things like that.


I never knew there were non verbal cues and social cues and people can tell when they are bugging someone annoying someone etc without being told by that person. I just thought they had to tell you so you'd know because you can't read their mind. I didn't know this till I was 16 and 17. My mother never taught me this. Perhaps she didn't know about this.

But yet she acts like she can read non verbal cues because I can remember the time my brothers and their friends were watching Date Movie and I kept making sexual comments and jokes. Then my mother yelled at me to stop and told me it's very crude and disrespectful or she would turn off the movie.
The next day she told me how it made my brothers and their friends feel and I asked her why didn't they say anything if they didn't like it and she said they were too embarrassed. Just how did she know this?

what's the book called, spokane?

Some signs are not that difficult e.g. blushing. If some one suddenly goes bright red then they could be embarrassed.

Even if your mother is not good at non verbal signals she would probably spot that.

Some things are just too complicated to convey non verbally and you have to just say them.

No one is born knowing what all road signs mean. You just have to buy a book and learn them.
Non verbal communication books sell quite well.

Your brothers may not have been so embarrased if your mum had not been there