Up against the odds. The uphill battle.

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Anyone else a fighter or have that fighting spirit? I'd like to hear how you have overcome some of the obstacles thrown your way because it seems to me that people have this preconceived notion that you will be forever confined to your label and what you are up against.

I don't think some people get that not all aspies try to limit their own lives based around what they are and are not supposed to do.

Give some examples of things you weren't supposed to achieve as an aspie or on the autism spectrum but you did anyway and proved others wrong.

I have had many challenges and obstacles since I was first diagnosed with "emotional problems"at the age of twelve but, I worked hard to face them head on...and it wasn't easy.

I spent a summer on Wall Street in New York City (lived at New York University in a dorm for that period of time) and learned
alot about the world of investments and high finance. I was on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange! I also, worked in a hospital which was a trauma center for my hometown and managed the Radiology Department...x-rays, Cat Scans, Ultrasound, Nuclear Medicine and handled the care of many patients who were critically injured when brought into the Emergency Room.
In addition, I spent some time working for a large greenhouse business and grew all kinds of flowers...Christmas Poinsettias, Easter Lilllies, Chrysanthemums and oh, so many other flowers and plants. I never let my "emotional problems" get in the way of making the most out of my life.

I was finally given a correct diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome eleven months ago and although it brings me some relief
in knowing why things were always so challenging to do, I will never let AS prevent me from accomplishing all my goals.

My neurology is a blessing. I understand the NT's need to see me as defective. But I don't take it seriously at all. I have to laugh a little.

Looking back on 40 years, certainly I can see some challenges. Facial tics as a child. Compulsions. Sensory aversions. Being a terrible student. In my 20's, anxiety, depression. And so on.

But it was leading somewhere beautiful. At 41, I still have the boyish wonder that others seem to have lost. My love of reading and obsessive pursuit of topics has resulted in broad and varied knowledge store that NT's marvel at. My inability to fit into the 9-5 corporate world has led to a career of independence and creative innovation.

I am quite possibly the happiest person I know. I live in a state of constant amazement.

This is your birth-right. Today and next week and this year might be very hard indeed. But you are blessed beyond most people's capacity to imagine.

Encouragement? I'd rather just offer my congratulations.

Do you mean, "normal" things that "normal" people do? I don't care about those.

I made it to...the age of 24 without breaking down [as a person without a diagnosis], that's supposedly pretty good for someone with AS; I "survived" mainstream school and whatnot without any allowances made. The professionals I've seen have made a big deal over this, perhaps they are trying to make me feel better; I don't know.

I survived mainstream school without any allowances being made, with actually higher expectations because of my academic giftedness, I got a university degree, I had a serious relationship, and I lasted until almost 22 without any serious breakdowns.

I feel like a clumsy ninja sometimes sent out to climb up someone's house so I climb and climb and start to think that I'm almost there and oops. Back on the ground to do it all over again.

However, some people close to me who didn't expect me to be intelligent are now talking about it. Part of that also has to do with being a female. I am able to control myself enough to make it through a job interview but if it turns out to be a job where "team work" really means "kiss our ass and you must be like us" it doesn't last.

The good news is, I don't know what or why it is but it seems like anytime a door closes, another one does open. The next door that opens is better than the first or it leads you to a hallway where you must make a new decision on what door to open. If you open the wrong door and a giant octopus jumps on your face and tries to smother you and you live to close the door, it's now up to you to learn from that and try again.

The reason why this topic was a thought is that I see some people here who have this idea that if you have aspergers you must be confined and limited by your symptoms. In my mind, no two aspies are exactly alike. We are all still individuals. Some people can do things that I have problems with like giving speeches before a crowd and keeping it together. I haven't had the practice. That doesn't make that person less of an aspie. It just means that aspie has tried repeatedly in that one area. Repetition makes perfect.

I'm the most stubborn fighter I've known around me, but I don't think I was able to overcome any of my obstacles based on my AS traits. I was able to maximize my useful traits, but it didn't help, my life is hell anyway. At 46 I'm totally alone and still unable to last at a job for long.

No one has told me what I can and cannot do due to my ASD.

All my life I've tried to do what my "peers" around me did for that's what I was expected to do too; I tried, tried and tried till I wished I'd have died. The thing is none of this was for me, these [literal] bloodied tears were made for others and by others, what they wanted me to be; what they expected me to be.

I'm going to be selfish for once and do what I want to do since I have a reason for why their desires and expectations of me were and are so hard: ASD. All I've wanted to do my whole life was obsess over my narrow interest, and that's what I'm doing, and that's what I'm always going to do.

Money, power, status, education and all that other stuff that's never meant a thing to me can go away and leave me be as it has never been me.

I guess I've never been a fighter before 'cause I perpetually tried to be what I'm not for others; I don't care now.

Interestingly enough, I've never felt "inferior"/dumber compared to those around me, those who did things I struggled with without effort. Intelligence and superiority is subjective to me; both can change at the whim of society.

I'd rather dig some holes; watch Stargate whilst listening to Mac Lethal than driving a fast car, watching fictitious faces whilst wearing flash clothes.

Going downhill can be uphill depending on your perspective.

For as long as I remember I knew I had something 'wrong'. It turned out to be quite number of things. I was always discouraged by doctors despite having symptoms from age 2. Something I didn’t really find out till much later. It has always been my initiative, and I was right even if I did’t know how to describe it.

I still have an uphill struggle. I still have cognitive problems unidentified. I don’t want more labels I want solutions. I have been pushing for a functional study. I know they are trying to discourage, I’m not having any of it. The place I go next has a waiting list of 10 months, I waited 6 months for the health thrust to get off their arse.

It is pretty remarkable that I even finished school and got till the last year of university when I quit. I’m underachieving. I’m a very ambitious person. I’m always being jammed between a rock and a hard place. It is manly because of high expectation because I can articulate but what I have at the moment is a shell like intellect. I have to constantly force myself to stay positive. My ego and my friends are keeping me alive. I didn’t have reciprocal friends a couple of years ago that is an achievement too.

All I ask it for me to be able to use my curiosity and be financially secure. That is my main aim.

Overcoming great odds is not something I can claim, but fighting back is something that I have learned to do. Why put up with the crap that others dump on you? There was a thread earlier about how Aspies are often overly docile and will not defend themselves even when attacked. There is truth to this observation and it may have to do with how we have been conditioned from childhood. Aspie behavior often elicits a stern and sometimes aggressive response from the parent that is aimed at shocking the child into quiet submission. Anything that gets the Aspie kid to behave is thought reasonable. It might also have to do with how exhausted we are at having to struggle so meaninglessly for what everyone else takes for granted. When I gave up trying to be what others wanted me to be and instead focused on being what I could and wanted to be, that neutered docility got chucked out of the closet in its place grew confidence and pride. I left my last employment five years ago and even though I struggle financially, I feel stronger in my steps and steadier in my purpose.

Like others, I would not care if I amount to nothing and become no one. Status, power and wealth have never held much interest for me. What I have always sought can best be called nirvana, or release from this prison of contortions. The way I am, power and wealth are of no use to me. It is not as if the torment will stop just because people do what I tell them to do. Set me free and the Devil can have all the rest of it.

danielismyname....

BRAVOOOOOOO ! !!

Excellent post and wonderfully written.