"fit in" why is it so important to NT's?

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boden
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13 Jan 2008, 9:20 pm

"fit in"? er...for "normal" people.

Last edited by boden on 13 Jan 2008, 9:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

sort30030
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13 Jan 2008, 9:30 pm

I don't think it's important.

Turtle000
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13 Jan 2008, 9:31 pm

It's not important to me. I live in my own little world. I don't have to fit in.

boden
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13 Jan 2008, 9:34 pm

sorry, I meant to the NT world.

Azharia
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13 Jan 2008, 9:35 pm

It depends on who you want to fit in with.
I don't bother being anything but me, and that is fine for family and my close friends.
Other than that, who do you want to please?

Phagocyte
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13 Jan 2008, 10:14 pm

I think there is in fact an overemphasis on teamwork and being a "team player" not just in the workplace but in schools. In both elementary school and college there is too much group-work for my liking, as I have found I'm actually more efficient and quick when I work by myself.

pakled
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13 Jan 2008, 10:18 pm

because of levels of communication that we don't pick up on; the whole 'visual cues' sort of thing. Imagine it like a dog whistle; you can't hear it, but it drives dogs crazy.

They give off a visual cue or facial expression, and you don't pick up on it. They get confused "Shirley they understand what I'm saying" ...well, they don't and stop calling me Shirley..

If you can't communicate, you don't 'fit in'. If you don't 'fit in', then it must be because you're strange, different, or just mean...

I'm sure there's more to it, but that's pretty much the two-bit explanation.

AspieDave
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13 Jan 2008, 10:27 pm

It's important to them because humans evolved from "pack" primates, that form a group or troupe or tribe, if you want to call it that. That social group is immensely important to them, just as is status IN the tribe.

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asplanet
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13 Jan 2008, 10:41 pm

I live in their world, but play in mine!

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Mist
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13 Jan 2008, 10:59 pm

asplanet wrote:

I live in their world, but play in mine!

Amen to that!

I dunno, I stopped trying to "fit in" a long time ago. I'd rather not be a sheep, thank you very much.

Edit: after thinking this over, I've discovered that I actually do fit in by just being myself. Funny, no? :roll:

-Mist

Last edited by Mist on 14 Jan 2008, 9:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

zendell
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13 Jan 2008, 11:22 pm

It's important because everyone wants to be accepted. Refusing to fit in because "being AS is who you are" is the equivalent of moving to a foreign country (other than US) and refusing to learn the language, demanding that everything be translated into your language, disrespecting the culture, and refusing to conform to standards in their society.

UncleBeer
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14 Jan 2008, 1:11 am

Why is "fitting in" so important to NTs? Basically because they're insecure and easily feel threatened. That's the $1 answer. The $20 answer is this:

Quote:

Neurotypical individuals show difficulty in forming an individual identity, or in thinking outside of the bounds of the accepted norms of their social groups. It appears that each group a neurotypical belongs to will have its own set of "official" opinions, and each neurotypical within that group is expected to adopt those beliefs. As strange as it sounds, they generally do so very readily, and are not hesitant at all to help enforce those beliefs and ensure group homogeneity of opinion. There appears to be an innate drive for the neurotypical to fit in with groups in that manner, and their own innate opinions and desires are modified automatically to fit the group ideal. This bizarre lack of independence explains the tendency for neurotypicals to engage in fads of various sorts, or for the existence of certain trends. Neurotypicals will change the way they talk or dress according to these trends, and other neurotypicals will admire and imitate such "trendy" behavior. As such, neurotypicals are easy prey for TV commercials or other means of advertising that seek to portray the purchase or use of various products as socially desirable or "cool."

The need for neurotypical individuals to "jump on" the latest trend is a function of their excessive level of concern of how they are perceived by others. Neurotypicals form their self-image based at least as much on the opinions of their peers as they do on their own opinions. They do not perceive themselves as individuals in the manner that you or I do; they see themselves as individual members of a group, but in practice, the opinions of others weigh heavily upon them, and there is a great drive to obtain the acceptance and admiration of others around them, including complete strangers. There is a built-in tendency for neurotypicals to blend in, to become "one of the herd," so to speak. Most of them never realize how much their opinions are dictated by the group. They want the things that the group deems desirable, and they internalize that desire so fully that it feels to them as if it was an internally-motivated desire.

That's taken from here ( http://home.att.net/~ascaris1/neurotypicality.html ), and was presumably meant by the author to be tongue-in-cheek, although I find it pretty accurate.

lotus
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14 Jan 2008, 1:16 am

Quote:

I think there is in fact an overemphasis on teamwork and being a "team player" not just in the workplace but in schools.

Damn straight!! opps, carry on....

CockneyRebel
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14 Jan 2008, 1:20 am

I think that it's important to a lot of them, because they're afraid of anything that's different, because they don't understand things and people, who are different.

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merr
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14 Jan 2008, 1:32 am

I dont think it's as complicated as everyone makes it seem.

It's not so much "fitting in" as it is not sticking out so you wont be picked on.

Not fitting in and being different (although difference is good, this fact is unknown to school kids where the phenomena of fitting is at it's most rampant) means you are the kid who sticks out and simultaneously, if you do not fit in with anyone, you are the target.

People form groups in high school to kind of "have each other's backs" because we all know how people are to kids who sit alone and have no friends.

A lot of kids aren't concerned with being popular as much as they are having ANYONE to sit with at lunch, do things with, etc. It's just a matter of avoiding awkward situations where say, you show up alone to prom and wind up standing by the wall the entire time for example.

Sifr
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14 Jan 2008, 3:17 am

merr wrote:

Yes. Everyone joins a social group. That is the way we are, even if we aren't aware of it. We want to be with people who are like us. Many, however, like to follow the latest fad. They've no mind. I've been told countless times (in lighter terms) that I'm a jerk or an ass for not being a part of the group. I can't stand the music, I can't stand the dress, I can't stand the people. I've also been insulted more than once for not following the politically correct, "accept everyone" movement, which I define as crap.

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