AS facial expressions creating the wrong impression on NTs

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Recently I have found out that two people (both NTs) had the following thoughts about me.

One person told someone I know that they were sure that I didn't like them (in fact I like this person a lot).

Another person recently accused me of judging them (when I was just sitting there minding my own business.)

Does anyone else experience this sort of thing? Obviously, my AS facial expression is giving out the wrong sort of message!

Yes.
I didnt think I had that much of an eye contact problem plus I was under the impression that listening was something you did with your ears.
So I'm accused of not paying attention.
The ironic thing is I can tell when people are not actually listening to each other and just pretending.
As with everything NT looks arfe whats important.

I've been told by many people that they thought I was a bit stuck up when they first met me because I didn't smile much (although I think I smile a lot at people). I get those comments from random strangers in the street 'cheer up love, it might never happen' when I'm just walking and minding my own business and my mum has a favourite joke she uses on me all the time: saying 'what's so funny?' when she thinks I look miserable. Most of the time I'm not miserable at all, I must just have a miserable face.

On board the farcical facial express topic

It never ceases to surprise me how much emphasis NTs place on those superficial facial muscle movements. I have even tried to do the superfical smile in order to 'reassure' them I mean no harm. I know they can see through it, because I have been told I look miserable. Well, maybe I am. But why do they not try to get to know me and they will realize I am a genuine person and what you see is not necessarily what you get. (NTs tend to throw out the soap with the bath water.)

When someone is talking to me, I have only one look for:

"You are annoying me, and you'd better knock it off."
"I think you're spouting a load of ridiculous BS."
"I'm concentrating very hard on what you're saying because I find it compelling."

If you don't know me very well, it is easy to confused the last with either of the first two. Which is one of the reasons that I continue to start a fashion trend where it is perfectly acceptable to wear face-covering helmets. Nobody who looks at my face sees the real me anyway, so I can't see how it would matter.

Good fortune,

- Icarus wants a suit of Mandalorian armour (complete with the jet pack)...

NT's are hard wired to read facial expression. It is not a fault; it just is.

Part of educating NT's is to explain that lack of expression means nothing.

I think it is about time that individuals take some responsibility in educating those about them on the characteristics of aspergers. How else can hard wired NT's learn?

Sometimes I reply to people that it is the most comfortable position for my face, but that joke is a bit old....

But showing an appropriate expression on my face is just too difficult, I just tell people that they have to trust my words.

Fairly often.
One example that sticks in my head is from early high school, where a girl who had been talking to me suddenly asked
"Do you hate me?"
As I liked her and thought that she seemed like a very nice person, I was puzzled.
"No, why?"
"You never look at me, you only give short answers to my questions, you never ask me about myself, you never smile..."
I couldn't think of an answer at the time, because at that stage I hadn't heard of AS and only knew of autism as the most low-functioning cases, which I would never have connected with myself. Also, I wasn't really aware that I never looked at her (I did, actually, but only as one part of a total environment that was constantly producing things to capture my attention), I make short answers even to questions from my closest friends, I don't know how to ask you about yourself because I don't know what people ask each other and I don't know anything about you, what am I meant to ask: "So... you're a girl?", and the fact that I don't smile is because we were having serious conversations, I didn't know that people took smiles as a sign of friendliness.
If I could go back and explain, I would.

Ya what I hate is that I can tell people aren't getting from me what they want which pisses me off cause I wish I could and at the same time I wish I could just say F it this is the way I am.

It is innate for NTs. Our emotions show through our body even if we try to hide or fake it. The facial muscles don’t lie, nor do the eye movements, but this only applies to NTs. Since AS is opposite, the expressions are opposite meaning as well.

Perhaps a face someone with AS makes is similar to one an NT would make if having a certain feeling, therefore your face is misinterpreted by an NT. Remember, we are emotionally driven creatures, not rational.

Be who you are and stop worrying about what others think. The people that matter in your life will know what your face really means, even if it goes off the traditional meaning behind an expression.

Happens 2 me all da tym dat is why i prefer 2 hang around wid ppl wid AS.

I think I read that this is one of the reasons AS look so much younger than they really are.
The facial muscles dont get used up enough to wrinkle.

Thing is I'm usually happy or content looking I guess. Thats the medication.

My problem is my NT best friend is anti social . Also I'm the one asking HER if shes mad. I often call her back after getting off the phone because she said she goodbye in a way I misread.

She often says I can't read her AT ALL.

All my other friends have drifted away so shes all thats left. I'm in a codependant vaccum now.

Plus I always talk too much because of a combination of the pills and lonliness.

I liked the earlier post when someone was saying that NTs can't help it they're just hardwired that way. And that no amount of teaching could change them. It made me feel less like a minority and more like simply a foreinger.

( why is there no spell check on this thing?)

Thanks everyone for your really helpful comments. It's a relief to know that this is a common experience for people with AS.

I don't really talk to many people, so I have no idea what kind of impressions I'm giving off. My Mother(autistic) has this problem. She constantly has strangers coming up and asking her if she's okay, even though she's perfectly content. I guess she gives off the impression that she's incredibly sad...It bothers her very much.