Getting yelled at , being wrong, or failure.

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When I was a child I couldn't cope with being yelled at and it caused me to get into tears. This also created a lot of anxiety and some insecurity when it came to taking a risk or guessing questions or etc.

It didn't have to be yelling but a stern or serious instruction, but for some reason it felt fragile to me. Just like getting a "no" response I couldn't accept it well and even today I still show frustration at times.

I don't know if it can be AS related. My guess is that sometimes I focus in my mind too much leading to a imaginative and positve feedback world in my mind. When it is broken with a wrong answer, getting yelled at or being told to do something in a more serious manner, all of a sudden the confidence breaks down leading to emotion sadness, and anger. Followed by anxiety to do anything anymore due to fear of error or experimenting the fragile moments again.

Situations like this prevented me from trying to socialize better, drive, attend college, and even go for a job. and be on my own. They still happen today (though I do drive now)
As I am older I begin to understand what it is, but I still hide in that shell. I want to overcome it but the fears of failure are still lingering with me a lot of the time.

Yeah that is something I don't really enjoy but I can acknowledge better.

i know what you're feeling. i have the same problem, i just snap if somebody just seems to be mad at me. thats why most of my life i've been very secretive of whatever i'm doing because i was afraid to get yelled at. all you can do is be strong and try too listen to what they say. and even if you're afraid of socializing just take the first step, that step is the hardest for everything just prepare yourself for everything that you're not good at and then just take the step and see that its not that hard. that's how i was able to get a job.

-lithium

And here I thought I was the only one with this same problem!

Alot of people these days -especially employers- seem to expect perfection on the first attempt and will even get stroppy when the inevitable failure occurs; All of which makes the fragility more pronounced.

The annoying part is when people start calling you spineless and/or weak just because this problem.

I feel really bad when people are mad at me. As a result, I freeze up when I feel like I've done something wrong.

In public I'm always afraid that my actions will draw disdain from others, even if they don't tell me (like how I always hear people speaking ill of others behind their backs - I'm positive that they could start talking about me, if they haven't already).

That sounds so much like me. I used to feel like if I did the slightest thing wrong, that most wouldn't even bat an eyelid at ("Don't touch that!" or something similarly 'nothing'), it was as if I'd commited some kind of cardinal sin... that I was a dreadful person, the world would fall down around me, I was nothing, I'd upset so many people... it was really awful. I hated it.

I'm not so bad now but I still remember times when I was told off when I was a young child that most would have forgotten within minutes.

oh, that is me all over. Even if some one is nice about telling me no or not now, or not like that, it can bring me to tears, especially if i'm a little tired. Even if someone sighs. I'm getting better about asking people if they are upset with me rather than just assuming that they are though.

I was like this when I was a kid. I couldn't always understand or comply with the instructions, but when I did I was terrified. My dad was the same way. His mom bragged she never had to spank him because he would burst out in tears the moment she said no.

None of which makes logical sense, because it's important to tell kids not to do things. My father and I were just extra-sensitive I guess. It felt to me like the entire world had disappeared and everything was focused on how bad I was.

And even now, although I hide it (because I don't want to be seeming to manipulate people with my reactions), I often privately start crying and keep thinking "I don't mean to be bad, I don't know what I did wrong," etc.

That really caught my attention. I have always felt secretive and will try to hide what I am doing or cover my mistakes. I am afraid of getting yelled at but even more afraid of the critizim, or the judgement that I am doing something wrong or bad or stupid. or not doing what I am suppose to. This is something I have not been able to overcome. I even get secretive about things that I enjoy and are suppose to relax me like playing computer games, watching tv, reading or taking a nap. So instead of relaxing me I get anxious, like I will get caught not doing something productive.

I don't have time fore this kind of crap anymore, it makes no sense.

I often prefer to work/learn on my own for the most part. I'm a pretty hash judge anyway, being a perfectionist.

yes i was a lot like this as a child, & would get upset if i ever got into trouble or if the entire class was in trouble. my mum used to tell me that the teacher would know that i was not involved but could not single me out as the only one not to be in trouble so i had to take it with the rest of the class. i think this is one of the reasons that i always stick by the rules & hate breaking rules so much that i am often mocked because of it.
now i still hate being told off or told i have done something wrong. i try to keep a "hard face" on to make others think that i dont really care & can take it but really i will be really anxious about it & will remember the situation for weeks after thinking about why i did what i did & what i should do instead.
i dont think it is possible to stop feeling anxious about getting into trouble but i think it is important that you try to at least appear not too bothered so it does not make other people get onto you more.

I can truly relate to that. My 3 first years at school, my teacher used to yell at me all the time. I'm terrible afraid of breaking rules too. I don't know wether the teacher yelling at me caused my anxiety, or that I always has been more sensitive than others. Probably the last, but who knows.
I just hate the thought that past still has its toll on me.

I hated that as well.

Oh dear me too... *Must suppress horrible school memories*

I used to be very oversensitive and burst into tears if anyone yelled or even just spoke sternly to me. Even now shouty people still upset me, and I refuse to tolerate anyone who speaks to me rudely at work. Now I'm older I listen to comments and feedback from people I like and respect, and pretty much ignore anyone else. Unless I'm tired or stressed, then I can still catch myself obsessing about what someone has said.

A well known writer once told me a thing to remember about critics and reviews, that you are never as good as They say you are, but you're also never as bad as They say you are too. What matters is how you feel about your own work.

I love my mom, but you wouldn't know it to look at us. We fight ALL the time, as if she seems even slightly disapproving or disagreeing, I HAVE to explain why I was not doing something to be disapproved of. I can't just let it go. I can't bear to have someone think badly of me. And so a tiny comment turns into a HUGE fight as I try and justify something not really important.

I didn't see that part, but it is very much true of me as well. And then it gets misinterpreted.