Urgent help...court...and comments...

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I am worried sick about having to go to court in a week or so. I wrote about the incident where both my husband and I were charged with "disturbing the peace" on our front lawn because we were angrily talking to a security guard about the injustices that we have sufferred at the hands of our electric company and its employees. Anyway, it wasn't the security guard, but rather the electric company guy who filed the charges.

I am worried sick about how to act in court. Why? Because as probably many here will confirm, it seems no facial expression that I have is EVER good enough for an NT. Basically, NTs want you to NEVER be angry, only to listen to them and agree with them...and you are not entitled to your own opinion at all. So, I've been blamed at work for "looking at people at a meeting like I am angry at them", when in fact, my face becomes rather serious when I am trying to pay close attention to them. It takes alot out of me to filter out the noises and concentrate on what one person is saying. So, again, the NTs complain about "my face", even though it is just me. In instances because of this, I have decided to smile, which has then turned into "me being sarcastic and not being serious about what is being discussed by the expression on my face..." So, sometimes I just look at a wall or down, and then I'm told I'm ignoring the person speaking. So, sometimes as a stim, I will tap my fingers on the table or play with my hands and then I'm told that I'm distracted and not listening...

SO, WHAT SHOULD I DO IN COURT when others speak and accuse me of wrongdoing? What do I do? What is acceptable for NTs???

PS - of course, I am even more angry at the fact that someone has decided that NTs get to decide how EVERYONE should behave and that their way is the RIGHT way...I think more ASPIE people need to get involved in the news, etc...and let others see our story in the hopes that someday we are not penalized for just being ourselves. Yes, I agree that if I lose it and hit an NT, charges should be filed, but just because you don't like the way I handle things, that is just ridiculous...It seems that only NTs in this world have a right to do as they please and they get to decide how everyone else should behave or face the consequences...

Please, I really need help as I am freaking out that they will push me to the breaking point and I will not know how to react "based on how an NT WANTs me to react".

I tend to finger tic and get stressed in court. When I get stressed, I tend to shout.

I take my work badge. My professional job is to advocate for children with disabilities. So, since I finger tic I hold my badge in my hand and I tell myself the same thing over and over again when I feel like jumping on top of a desk and brandishing some sort of medieval sharp object that looks really scary. "You're special job is to help children with disabilities, your son is one of them". It distances me from the court room and it makes me focus on something besides the huge ball of panic in my brain that is threatening to scream and start throwing things.

It's most helpful if you stay calm. You know, the old saying about how it's better for everyone to think you are an idiot rather than to open your mouth and confirm it.

Stay calm. If it's possible, write a script for yourself. Exactly what you want to say word for word. Like writing a speech. I do that when I'm in court and it's helpful. Distances me and helps me focus on something outside of myself.

Before you answer a question, take a deep breath and think carefully about what you are going to say before you say it.

You know you've been treated unfairly, but you have to be able to present your defense in a calm and cool manner that makes sense to the judge.

Disturbing the Peace is a misdemeanor. A fine. Contempt of court is a felony (and right now, you're only charged with a misdemeanor). See if you can get a public defender or a handicapped advocate, or someone from legal aid to go with you. Whatever you do, remember, it's not a trial (unless all they're going to do is fine you) and you'll probably get off with a "don't argue in public again" warning.

Answer the Judge "Your Honor," or Sir. or ma am.

Don't argue, no one is going to send you to jail for a misdemeanor. They have laws within which they must work, and it's not a matter of "you don't get to talk.

You were disturbing the peace (regardless of the validity of the argument), and calm and polite usually fixes everything in a case like that. Above all, don't carry whtever you were arguing about into the court. The judge isn't there to settle that, and neither are the cops....who might not even show up, and then they have to drop the matter anyway.

Lacking anyone to go with you, ask permission to speak when the judge calls you up, and say, your honer, both my husband and I have Asperger's and sometimes when we seem to be angry, we're not. We ask the court to take that into account this morning. Most of the time, the courts aren't mean. Answer the questions, and be ready to say it won't happen again!

By the way, courts tend to take what security guards say with a large grain of salt. Security guards are not deputized officers, and the courts know they are often abusing authority they don't have. Stop losing sleep. Especially if you get a judge who doesn't like security guards.

Good Luck.

Btdt

Liverbird can back me up on this. NTs are SUPPOSED to be distant, reserved, honest, and reasonable. If they aren't, they can be THROWN IN JAIL for CONTEMPT!

The TRUTH though, is that the "judge" heads everything, and they can throw you in jail on a whim, and may accept a lot of garbage. The BEST you can do is get a good lawyer, and try to have them determine a proper counter to all possible garbage, and provide precedents. Unfortunately, that can get to be very expensive.

Have you ever seen "my cousin vinney", or "and justice for all"? They are nice comedies but, unfortunately, they might as well be documentaries. Some judges really DO act like that. I dealt with a couple, and liverbird is dealing with one now.

Thanks to the replies...also, thanks for that advice on My Cousin Vinny...maybe I need to rent some of those court funny movies to help me relax? No, I might instead think of something and burst out laughing inappropriately in court.

Anyway, we are freaked out because yes, although this horrible place I live in is part of the US, believe it or not, the penalty for this is actually 6months in jail and/or a 500usd fine and/or community service...I also read on the law forums for this place that the senate just threw in that community service stuff because there are hundreds of people in the jails for such petty misdemeanors...lovely.

And again, the law here is "make an example out of the rich" (and I'm not saying we're rich by any means), but in comparison to most people who don't work here (more than 50% I would dare say), well then we are...hmmm...

Thanks for the advice...If you think of anything else, believe me I'll be reading up and "hyperfocusing" on this until it's over...

Is there a lawyer you can ask about how to act? They often have to give instructions to NTs about how to act, too.