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Tired of Pretending to be an NT

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IdahoAspie
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21 Jan 2008, 3:18 am

Anyone else get so tired of being an NT? I get tired of pretending to be someone I am not. Of playing by their rules. Why? Who decided the the NT way of thinking is the best way of thinking?

Why is that AS is not the better way? I am tired and exhaused of making consessions all the time to them because they so easily offended, or don't think it is polite to do such and such.

It is like the NT world is giant lie, they way they dress, the things they say, and do, all for social promotion and for a promotion, or get friends. It seems so odd to me. So strange. It is like they play this game everyday. I don't like it. And I am exhaused playing it all day everyday. Why can't I just be me? Why is being an AS so bad or less than a NT?



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21 Jan 2008, 4:48 am

Because they the majority & we are the minority & discrimination does not cover us yet...

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TLPG
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21 Jan 2008, 6:18 am

Then we make it so, Logitech.

IdahoAspie - good for you! The ultimate strength of character is to accept yourself as who you are, not what society wants you to be. That takes backbone and you should be proud!



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21 Jan 2008, 6:28 am

My advice is to find a job where your talents will be valued, and once people realize your worth, you won't have to pretend anymore.



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21 Jan 2008, 7:43 am

TLPG wrote:
Then we make it so, Logitech.

IdahoAspie - good for you! The ultimate strength of character is to accept yourself as who you are, not what society wants you to be. That takes backbone and you should be proud!


Or leads to isolation, loneliness, alienatation and a self-loathing. Gooooo......Assppppiiieee!! !!

Better advice is do not be ashamed of what you are. Fit in as best you can. If this world seeks to award people adhering to the social constructs geared for the majority then do not accept that this is to automatically exclude you seeking to push yourself to fitting in and staking your on claim. You will stuff up. You will fail. You will have to struggle harder than the rest of the pack. The rewards you gain through this process will be sweeter for the experience and you will be immensely prouder for your efforts.

Do less than this and you are copping out. In time to come you will be dirty on yourself.



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21 Jan 2008, 10:19 am

Why would i wanna b an NT i feel very proud 2 have AS nothin wrong wid dat. :D



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21 Jan 2008, 10:33 am

I'm not pretending to be an NT. I was born eccentric, and I'll stay eccentric. I'm learning the social skills of the NTs gradually, however. When you practice your social skills, it eventually get's easier socializing. If your social skills reaches an adequate level, other people don't seem to mind that you're a bit eccentric.

I guess it's easier for me than a lot of other aspies. Therapists in Norway are free after you pay 1200 NOK (~200$).


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21 Jan 2008, 11:15 am

I for one think we are all just people. I'll accept your uniqueness if you'll accept mine!


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21 Jan 2008, 11:23 am

I pretended to be neurotypical for about ten years; just long enough to advance to my present level of competency in my profession, such that I am now respected for my knowledge, skills, dependability, and character, instead of my social presentation. Once I had achieved this respect, I gradually reverted to my old, happy, eccentric self.



merr
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21 Jan 2008, 12:01 pm

From what I've seen aspies get offended as much as anyone else I've known. Where does this statement come from?

What you should know is that most NTs dont even know AS exists, let alone can they comprehend that there are other ways of doing things besides the ways they have been taught for centuries. I would think that if more people knew, they wouldn't mind as much.



sands
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21 Jan 2008, 3:44 pm

Merr you are so right!! !! !


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21 Jan 2008, 4:08 pm

My therapist encouraged me to attend an acting class so i could learn how to "act normal"

Yes I'm isolated but the truth is the alternative is to go out try had and get frustrated. Better to avoid it.

I the acting class I learned a bit about how to be a better listener. That I can deal with , thats not a lie, and I want to do it.

But something I am finally accepting ( Recentlly diagnosed) is the scope of AS and how its aleays affected my life.

I can never not be AS. It's physically impossible.

Remember the scene in Born on the Forth of July where Tom Cruise refuses to accept he is paralized from the waist down and is on the parallel bars saying " see I can walk" then he fall breaks a bone in his leg so its juting out of the skin.

The NT world tells us if we persist we will overcome.
I used to believe that back when I thought I was simply emotionally disterbed.

Our minds are in wheel chairs. No amount of coaching or positive thinking will make them walk again. However with practice and study we can adapt to make an alien world a littl eeasier to get along in. Easier for US.



TLPG
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21 Jan 2008, 4:25 pm

TrueDave wrote:
My therapist encouraged me to attend an acting class so i could learn how to "act normal"

Yes I'm isolated but the truth is the alternative is to go out try had and get frustrated. Better to avoid it.

I the acting class I learned a bit about how to be a better listener. That I can deal with , thats not a lie, and I want to do it.

But something I am finally accepting ( Recentlly diagnosed) is the scope of AS and how its aleays affected my life.

I can never not be AS. It's physically impossible.

Remember the scene in Born on the Forth of July where Tom Cruise refuses to accept he is paralized from the waist down and is on the parallel bars saying " see I can walk" then he fall breaks a bone in his leg so its juting out of the skin.

The NT world tells us if we persist we will overcome.
I used to believe that back when I thought I was simply emotionally disterbed.

Our minds are in wheel chairs. No amount of coaching or positive thinking will make them walk again. However with practice and study we can adapt to make an alien world a littl eeasier to get along in. Easier for US.


That was at best a short term fix that your therapist gave you, Dave. Yes it helps, but life is not one big soap opera on television. You can only act some of the time and get away with it. It's just a question of knowing when to act, and when not to. I like acting, but I am only too aware of when not to do it.

I'm not disagreeing with the bulk of your post - it's a good one. It's just that (and I think you meant this anyway) acting at the wrong time is tantamount to lying - and that's one thing I would never do. And in my life right now the only right time to act is when I'm part of a pro wrestling show! That's when it changes from being a dangerous practice to just plain FUN!



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21 Jan 2008, 4:34 pm

That's how I feel too, TrueDave. I can never learn how to act like them, because you need specific antennae that my brain doesn't have in order to grasp how to act in any given interaction. I think Aspies that say you can learn to act NT have wishful thinking or a very mild form of AS.


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21 Jan 2008, 8:20 pm

IdahoAspie wrote:
Anyone else get so tired of being an NT? I get tired of pretending to be someone I am not. Of playing by their rules. Why? Who decided the the NT way of thinking is the best way of thinking?

Why is that AS is not the better way? I am tired and exhaused of making consessions all the time to them because they so easily offended, or don't think it is polite to do such and such.

It is like the NT world is giant lie, they way they dress, the things they say, and do, all for social promotion and for a promotion, or get friends. It seems so odd to me. So strange. It is like they play this game everyday. I don't like it. And I am exhaused playing it all day everyday. Why can't I just be me? Why is being an AS so bad or less than a NT?

Sometimes I'm like that, but I have a lot of friends that have accepted that I'm an Aspie, and I don't feel as though I follow as many of those rules.
I hate being scared of talking though, because I have no clue if I'm going to say is going to offend anybody :(



IdahoAspie
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21 Jan 2008, 8:53 pm

Thanks for all the wonderful responses. But I still tire of pretending. I feel like the entire NT world is lie, and I don't understand why that is best?

Isn't being who we are, all people, the highest achievment?

If you pretend to be someone you are not to gain friends, are they really your friends, or the friends of the person you are pretending to be?


Best,

Idaho Aspie
www.AllThingsAspergers.com