Meltdown...advice on how to handle! PLEASE!! !!

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Does anyone have an ASPIE child that has done this before? I was at a loss on what to do except catch him and leave.

We stopped by a craft store, nothing exciting had happened that day and he had been overstimulated. Anyway, we stopped in and he ran away from me. Everytime I'd try to get close he'd run several aisles away screaming & crying. When I'd get close to tell him we'd leave he'd run hide.

Women in the store were looking at me like I was crazy. Honestly, I thought someone was going to call the police on me. Later on we had to make another pit stop. This time I made him ride in a buggy.

What do you do?

Get him a Medic Alert bracelet, which will tell people what is actually going on. They work wonders for autistic kids (and adults too).

I have meltdowns all the time, due to stress, sensory overload or whatever. I don't actually have one myself, but am considering it.

Sorry I can't help more, but it's a start.

Usually by that stage there's no avoiding "doing it in public".

And overload can be cumulative and invisible to those outside the person.

Also sometimes individual things contribute. For those of us with misophonia for instance (which is an intense distaste for certain sounds, often causing a violent reaction even in otherwise "normal" people, and not just "sounds hurting our ears" but something else entirely), just hearing certain sounds can be enough to set us off if we're not capable of really tight control at that time. I have nearly hit people over certain sounds their mouths make and it contributes massively to overload even when I am not violent or close to it. And there are other things like misophonia for all the other senses.

(Misophonia is not the same thing as sensitivity. It's some weird neurological thing where intense, intense dislike is associated with a sound, to the point where... like the most common kind, which I have, has to do with eating noises, and people like me who are forced to sit through a dinner with other people (in my case, especially at home where there's not a lot of ambient noise blocking things out) will be startling throughout the meal, or sitting there shaking to try to avoid violence. It's very intense and there's not a known cure other than learning a level of self-control that most "normal" people never accomplish.)

I sympathize with you. I have 2 boys on the spectrum, and I go through an experience like you described often. To say that it's embarrassing, and frightening would be an understatement.

You could try writing a social story about how important it is for him to stay by you in public, and letting you know verbally when he needs to get out, and go home.

Does he act like this in other places? The reason that I ask is because craft stores are just plain STINKY. I gag whenever I get anywhere near the cinnamon scented pine cones. The whole place is just havoc on the nose. I'm wondering if your son didn't have a sensory meltdown just from all the smells.

My son still has some freakouts in stores, even though he's 9 years old now. Certain stores set him off more than others. Craft stores and drug stores are the most likely places that he will lose it. Every now and then, he'll really lose it in the grocery store. But, he can usually keep it together there if I give him a list of the things we are going to buy.

When he was much younger, if he ever really lost it in the store, we would leave that store. I'd let him compose himself in the back seat of the car and then I'd take him to another store. I would tell him that we're going to another store and give him the chance to walk through it without making a big scene. He actually liked the opportunity to try again and he would go home feeling successful instead of thinking about the initial meltdown.

Hold hands in the store. I had to do that when my son outgrew the stroller.

whateveryousay2007,

In such a case, putting him in a buggy would amount to TORTURE, or child abuse! Have you asked HIM what was going on????[/quote]



What? He actually likes the buggy when we go places. That way he can sit there and play with his toys or books. (unless the buggy is small)

You can't talk or reason with him when he is in that state.

On the other hand if you try to ask him/or tell him anything (when he's not having a meltdown) if it's something he doesn't want to hear I get "I know" or "Don't tell me".

He's gotten to the point when I need to go somewhere he doesn't want to go in there, unless it's a place where he's getting a toy. So, I wonder if some of it is he's working himself up. Later on we went to a different craft store and he was okay.

My son loved the stroller too. I also had (and still sometimes have) a problem with him expecting a toy or candy whenever we go somewhere. I tell him before we get in the store that I'm not buying anything for him and not to ask. At your son's young age, you might still have compliance issues though. With my son, he will try to behave so I won't take away video games etc.... When he was younger, he didn't get that concept at all.

This has happened many times with our son, but it does happen much less than before.

One of the things I realized was that I always went to the store when "I" needed something and was basically a bit occupied and busy trying to do my errands when this happened. I began to take HIM to the store and walk next to him as he walked down the aisles looking at stuff he wanted/liked, etc...I did this a few times without having ANYTHING at all that I needed to buy, just to take him and let him walk around and see what HE wanted to see.

After a few times, when I needed to go to the store I made a deal with him. I would set my cell alarm on for a period of X minutes...as soon as we walked into the store, I would tell him that when the alarm went off, it would be my turn to walk around and find my stuff, but until then, it was his turn. It worked rather well for us...So, now, instead of going to the store looking for something for me FIRST, we go in and he has 5, 10 minutes, whatever to look for stuff and I don't walk around telling him to hurry...just telling him that he has X minutes left, blah...He has been pretty good with this method. Of course, we now work a bit on once he finds something, he tells me, "let's go pay for it" because he thinks he's done, but I explain to him that we will pay for it once I find what I was looking for. And honestly, if I have enough time, I pay for his stuff so that he can open it and then go back and keep him busy with his toy/candy, whatever, until I find my stuff.

Another thing that works wonders for us at stores is having an MP3 player for him with his favorite music. Not used daily, only when we go shopping.

[My mother was suspicious about how I could be FULL of a meal, and STILL have cake. The TRUTH is that at times I was full of cake, and had a meal! She just never seemed to realize that.

WHO KNOWS? Maybe he is telling the TRUTH! As for asking him, you can ask later, when he is willing and able to talk.[/quote]


I know exactly what you mean. I go through that with him.

There's just really not a a lot you can do. I still have meltdowns once in awhile, although they're certainly not as severe as they were when I was a kid, but for me it was the smells, ah the smells! It helps to think outside the box. As people are saying, you should try to talk with him after, and explain you're not mad at him but that you need to figure out why he's getting so upset. If, for example, it's the smells, maybe you could lace a painter's mask with a tiny bit of perfume or to cover it up? Just an idea, although it's entirely possible he'll hate wearing a mask. I just through this out because that's something my parents figured out worked pretty well for me as a child.

i used to runaway from my parents in stores and hide in the clothing racks

i was terrible sometimes