Any suggestions?
I've been trying to help a lady in England who has a 17 year old son with undiagnosed AS. She contacted me after reading my post on another site. She said she believed her son has the same thing as I do, and asked for some suggestions/help. He keeps himself locked in his bedroom 24-7. I told her that, I thought she should give him some info on AS. Particularly, a symptoms list. I told her, that finding out someone else understood my situasion, was my single biggest step forward. I also told her that she might want to look into getting him some anti-anxiety medications. I know they definitely helped me. My anxiety was totally out of control. I couldn't even answer the phone without having a panic attack. Even, to think of a panic attack, produced a panic attack. If he is in the same boat as I was, I think he needs meds too. Anyone think I was wrong, or have something to add? Thanks, Jason.
Is it anxiety that keeps him locked in his room or is it depression? Without knowing anything more about the situation, I can only speak from my own experience. During my teens I spent a lot of time in my bedroom listening to music, which my family of course did not like. I won't say I went so far as to lock myself in, but I can say that one of the reasons I spent so much time alone in my head is that every time I attempted to come out of my "Aspy" shell and behave "normally" the way they said they wanted me to be, there was a battle royal. Mostly about money. Because in order to socialize with the other teens it takes money, to go to concerts, to go shopping, to go out to eat, you name it, and I not only did not have any there was little opportunity to earn any. Therefore, I could not participate on an equal basis with my peers. I was given a dollar a week and that was all. To this day I do not understand this, we were not poor. Anyway, I just ended up giving up and staying in my room. It was a whole lot easier. Meanwhile my parents wrung their hands and wondered, why doesn't she have any friends?
I am not saying that this is the situation here, but maybe the mother should take a good hard look at some of the messages she may be sending. Is she perhaps unconsciously blocking her son's attempts at independence, when (or if) he does show an interest in the outside world, how does she react? With negativity or encouragement? Actions speak louder than words. Just a thought here . . .
Closetaspy, I think anxiety and depression go hand in hand but, I was just going by my own experience. I have always, had to deal with severe anxiety and panic attacks. Maybe its not as common as I thought with AS. I was always depressed because I couldn't control my panic attacks when attempting to socialize. Especially before I knew what AS was. I now know, my anxiety comes from my unability to communicate normally, or what is considered normally. I always appreciate another point of view though. I'm constantly learning. Thanks, jawbrodt.
I aways locked myself in my room back then, at least until my parents forbid me to close my door at all (even to change clothes!) or they'd take it off the hinges. That sucked. I don't recomend that approach.
I didn't really have anxiety, but I was depressed. It's hard to be different at an age where everybody's trying to be the same.
In my case, I just wanted to be left alone with my music and books. It was my little safe zone.
my eldest son locked himself away, he does not have as, now we have moved although he hasnt got a raging social life he does tend to go out more, i suspect he was being bullied and felt unable to tell anyone so got himself loked in a cycle of thought about being easier to stay in(thought a lot of teenagers went through a phase. how long has the son been doing it?
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