Internalized meltdowns

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I am wondering if this is really a thing. I have never really had a external meltdown but I have gotten really quiet and go in my head when something doesn't go as planned. Is that a form of meltdown? And does anyone do the same thing?

First off, Welcome to Wrong Planet.
There are different types of panic attack/melt downs. The most serious are "tonic immobility", in which the portion of your brain that controls speech actually shuts down and you find it very difficult to talk even if you want to. All that comes out is gibberish.

This might be an interesting read for you Lizgubler https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/ ... s/shutdown

I call them shut-downs. It's when all my senses want to stop working. I go inward and fold up like an origami cube.

When I am by myself I curl up on the floor sort of in childs pose and I cover my eyes.

That's me daily. I sit in child's pose all the time too.

Im glad I am not the only one. I always thought it was weird that I did that but I cant help it.

Shutting down is my usual reaction to being overloaded, I have had explosive melt-downs, but only very rarely. Sometimes I only lose some faculties but not others - speech and understanding other people first, usually. Other times, the world around me just seems to fade out, and from what other people have told me, just become like a mannequin - "tonic immobility" like jimmy m mentioned, frozen in place rather than slumping like a sack of potatoes.

Yes. I got yelled at for those too. I literately could not control my body and my mother would accuse me of "making it up" or trying to "embarrass" her. Probably a good thing I could not move my body because if I could, I probably would have reached out and b***h slapped my mother for her comments and accusing me of doing it on purpose.

I can have explosive meltdowns, but I can’t speak when things are worst. I never understood why until a few years ago.

I've always viewed my shutdowns as a sort of defense mechanism to keep me from going into a full meltdown. It's the "flight" side of my "fight or flight" response.

I usually have meltdowns but there were a couple times I shutdown instead...

Don't forget there's four choices: Fight, Flight, Fawn or Freeze.
Fawn (or Flop) is when you try to appease the other person by self-sacrificing and being overly nice.
Freeze is when you shut down and withdraw to self-soothe.

That's a good point. I think this may be why my explosive meltdowns are so much rarer - they've often happened when I've tried to fight a shutdown because withdrawing didn't seem safe or possible for whatever reason.

What are the signs of a shutdown? If I've ever had any, it must have been partial.

I feel like I have two different kinds. One is when I just dont feel like interacting (a lot of the time it is involuntary). I just kind of am there. I am physically there but my mind is not. Its kind of hard to explain. I am quiet and I dont show any emotions (even worse than normal). People always ask me whats wrong, it kind of gets annoying because nothings wrong, I just dont want to socialize.
The second one happens when something changes or doesnt go as planned. I go silent again but this time I can actually still interact with people I just seem a little more annoyed with everything. I also will complain.

I am still learning things myself but this is what I have learned about how shutdowns are for me.